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Cop Craft Volume 3 Chapter 1 Part 11

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Translator: ClefRunner

Editor: Weasalopes

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Tilarna and Matoba got out of the car, and right in front of the apartment building there were two black men. One of them had a long, priest outfit, and the other looked like a rough wrestler.

It was Viz O’Neill, self-proclaimed pastor, and his bodyguard Kenny. He was an informant that Matoba relied on frequently. He was a greedy man, but also somewhat trustworthy. During the first investigation Tilarna had participated in after coming to Earth, he had also helped her here and there with some things.

「Welcome, Mister Manobe!」

O’Neill opened his arms in an exaggerated fashion, and shouted out Matoba’s alias. Then he swiftly pushed back the sleeves of his robe, and took a peek at his expensive-looking Rolex.

「You are ten minutes late, but God is magnanimous and forgiving. And also um… Miss Elnebara, was it?」

Elnebara was Tilarna’s alias. She had been using it a lot during her undercover mission. It was the name she used at school, so she wasn’t quite fond of using it so freely like that in such a place.

「Just call me Tilarna. Or actually, you know what? Just don’t call me by anything too friendly.」
「Excuse me. For instance how about I call you Manobe’s accompanying concubine guard? I believe that would be an exceptionally respectable position!」
「Then you be the concubine!」
「However, dear lady. Wasn’t that the original setting?」

Said Kenny, the bodyguard

「If we were to make you Manobe’s business partner, we’d run into trouble. Your appearance is too cute. Maybe if you were a more masculine, big breasted female knight, then maybe we could go with a different plan. Right, Mister Manobe?」
「Please don’t. I don’t want to be treated like a pedo.」

Muttered Matoba spitefully.

However, for the undercover mission, it was decided to treat Tilarna as if she were the concubine of Matoba, who would be passing off as a criminal. Of course both Matoba and Tilarna voiced their disapproval of the setting at first, but ultimately there was no better solution. If they didn’t go with that, then it would be hard to explain the circumstances that lead to the young-looking Tilarna hanging around with them.

「Well then, where’s Mendoza?」
「He’s waiting inside. He has great expectations of this opportunity to meet with broker Kei Manobe, who happens to be well connected in the Semani world.」
「Are you for real?」
「What do you mean? Have I ever, as God’s faithful servant, ever betrayed an earnest and hardworking man like yourself? Please do not give me any reasons to feel disappointed.」
「Well you tricked me and had me wear that lascivious dress…」

Muttered Tilarna

「You’re talking about that event at that club a while ago? What a regrettable thing you’re saying! We did just fine like that! Excuse me, lady Tilarna. Making use of your young, blossoming beauty by having you wear those garments straight out of Gomorrah, was honestly the overall best way to have everything work out erotically and groovy. And in the end, we ended up contributing sufficiently to your capture of the enemy, correct?」
「Don’t say stuff like young, blossoming beauty! Your way of speaking is the creepiest thing about it!」
「Even though I was simply saying my praise. What a regrettable affair.」
「Ah… I get it already, just shut up and lead the way.」

Matoba interrupted Tilarna and O’Neill’s back and forth interactions

「We don’t even know if Mendoza is out best candidate. Don’t go around wasting time.」
「Leave it to me. Indeed you are a most diligent man, so allow me to stress that thoroughly to him.」
「Don’t do anything unnecessary. Introduce me to him, and then shut up.」

Then he turned to Tilarna

「You wait in the car.」
「Why?」
「You’ve been showing your face at school recently, haven’t you? If Mendoza really is involved with this incident, then for whatever reason, he may find out your true identity.」
「Hmph.」

Matoba’s request was reasonable. Nevertheless, Tilarna didn’t want to run away from an opportunity to learn about her undercover mission. Perhaps she would have to use that technique. She had learned it as a special technique for mischief when she was a kid, but perhaps it would be somewhat useful for a situation like that.

「Very well. Give me a second.」

And in front of the three men looking at her with puzzled looks, she pulled a flat talisman out of her pocket, composed herself, and started chanting a spell quietly.

「…Bruui mehnaena, látami meaena. Moraize thamje, gunaith zah sonnath. Sehdam bílu nara Mafusa bajiráno menuh iyahge…¹」

Rahtena started concentrating within her body, and manifesting itself via the talisman. The surrounding air started becoming faintly fluorescent, and a faint breeze started enveloping the shape of her naked body.

「Manifest yourself…」

The transformation spell was complete. Tilarna put the talisman away and peeked at the mirror on the car next to her. Her golden hair had become pitch black, and her skin white as snow was now black like tea. Her beloved red Shahi, was now a deep green, like a dense forest.

「With this there should be no problems. I should now look Zambenikan to other earthlings. No one will even think I’m from the Farbani Kingdom.」

She replied arrogantly to the three men who had their eyes wide open. And then Kenny the bodyguard just quietly muttered

「A Player 2 skin.」

Immediately O’Neill started banging his greasy head, while his laughter roared to the heavens

「My dear lord! There is no better way to put it, Brother Kenny! This is absolutely a Player 2 skin!」
「?」

O’Neill’s and Kenny’s insolent laughter continued right in front of “black Tilarna” who was simply frowning. Both Matoba and Tilarna were looking annoyed and confused.

「What’s that? At least let me in on the joke and explain yourselves.」
「Oh my, Mister Manobe! Do you not play some fighting games?」
「I don’t. I’ve been a Tetris specialist since my military days.」
「Fu fu fu… When you make a character in a fighting game fight against itself, in order to tell them apart… no, actually, that’s not the right way to put it. You chant an exaggerated spell, and that’s a Player 2 Skin. Oh lord, fu fu fu…」

O’Neill was still laughing.

「I don’t really get it, but to put it simply you people are just mocking my Mildi…?」
「Not at all. We were of course surprised to see your secret, sacred technique but… wait wait wait, stop looking at me with those scary, vengeful eyes. I’ll lend it to you next time, SFII or something…」
「It’s a masterpiece. For real.」

Kenny added while wiping the tears off his eyes

「By the way, I personally use Balrog. Brother O’Neill, what about you?」
「That’s obvious. I’m a Dhalsim believer.」
「I knew it!」

Both said as they laughed again. Tilarna didn’t understand a single thing

「… on that note, young lady. this is still about games, but in an RPG context, what class would you be? I get the feeling that you look kind of like a knight, or a swordsman, but you use that weird magic.」
「It’s not some weird magic! It’s Mildi!」

Tilarna squared her own shoulders and shouted, but Matoba held her back from behind.

「Ah, whatever. Let’s just go. This is our job.」
「But Kei! This man just-」
「Don’t fret about every single thing they say. The stupid will rub off on you!」

Matoba started walking by himself towards the entrance of the apartment building. Flustered Tilarna simply followed suit behind him, while O’Neill and Kenny were still laughing and making jokes about fighting games. About some “Power Instinct” and “how good was it?”, or about whether they had “used their 2000 dollars”.

~o~

Mendoza, the dealer that O’Neill had presented to them, was lounging on the sofa and seemed to be in a bad mood

「- which is why I truly believe that Manobe possesses extraordinary connections both on Earth and in the Semani world! I could swear it on God’s almighty and soulful name, Señor Mendoza. I’m sure that doing business with him could bring great benefits to an important man like you. You could say that you are right now staring at a fertile ground full of great crops and sweet honey and of cour-」
「Shut up, you fake priest.」

Said Mendoza flatly. The barrel of the submachine gun his Colombian bodyguard standing behind him was holding, could be plainly seen.

「Hmph. In that case I will gladly remain silent. If that’s your wish.」
「Do you think I’m stupid enough to actually go around drooling for whatever shit a lying bastard like you could say? Should I be offended by that? I only have one specific interest in what you have to say, and that’s whether you could find me a broker that could make coke cheaper, that’s all. I’m not expecting anything else about anything.」

Mendoza was the absolute ruler of that small room. He was wearing a tight tank top that was enveloping his tan, golden muscles. He didn’t have any merchandise at hand, but instead he looked like the type of guy that simply drowned himself with steroids.

Matoba was sitting on an opposing sofa in front of Mendoza, and he was swinging his legs lightly.

「O’Neill. What the fuck does this mean? You didn’t tell me anything about coke or anything.」

He said with an insolent attitude

「What?」
「Don’t play dumb. I was even looking for a Semani partner that could sell some good Goblin Powder. I don’t know shit about coke.」

They hadn’t discussed a single thing about that in the preparations they had made beforehand, so O’Neill was looking slightly confused. He felt bad for him, but there was nothing he could do.

It would probably be even more suspicious if he were to play along with the scenario that O’Neill was proposing.

Just as Matoba expected, Mendoza started getting annoyed

「O’Neill. You dumbfuck…」

Mendoza’s underling pointed his submachine gun at O’Neill. Both him and Kenny just lifted their arms right away.

「Ah, well, this is… It’s all just a big misunderstanding. Basically you see… um… Mister Manobe? It seems like Señor Mendoza has the impression that I was in the wrong, and only I am at fault. In order to reach a peaceful and constructive resolution, I urge you to please talk things through and-」
「Shut up. Just kill them if you want to.」

Matoba took a breath, looking fed up with it all, and stood up from the sofa.

「I’m leaving, Señor. You can boil those two, or fry them as you please. I don’t care.」
「Wait! Darling!」

Please save Kenny. O’Neill doesn’t matter, but at least spare Kenny. That was the message that Tilarna’s gaze was trying to convey. For some reason she was fond of him. “He may look like a cannibal demon, but he’s an unexpectedly sweet person on the inside” or something like that.

Don’t worry. that was just a bluff

As Matoba was thinking that, Mendoza called out to him.

「Well, just wait a minute. Sit down, Mister Manobe.」
「What? I told you earlier, I don’t know anything about coke.」
「Which means you do know about something else. You said that, right?」

Mendoza lifted his left hand slightly, and his underling lowered his gun.

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1. Northern moonlight, southern brightness. Eastern daybreak, western dusk. Let the thoughts from Mafusa’s brush remain thine.

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