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Cop Craft Volume 3 Chapter 1 Part 3

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Translator: ClefRunner

Editor: Weasalopes

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「Infiltrating the school of the deceased Norune?」
「We can’t do anything else with our current situation. It’s unorthodox, but not illegal. I want to investigate Norune’s personal relationships. How about McBee?」
「Tony? Hm…」

In the case of infiltrating as a teacher, fellow investigator Tony McBee might have been a good fit. Matoba thought so as well. Tony was well educated, and he was well mannered. He probably would be able to become popular with the students pretty smoothly.

However, Tony and his partner investigator Godonov were not present at the time. They were at a restaurant in Diego Avenue, meeting with a small fry gangster. Their investigations for other cases had been piling up and for a while now they had been killing themselves working on various matters.

「Nah… Tony can’t do it. Besides, teachers are morning people, and his cases all take place at night. He’d die from exhaustion.」
「What about you, Austin and Estefan?」

The two female investigators sitting in the corner: Jamie Austin and Cameron Estefan, were being addressed.

「We’re going to be working on the raid of the Chinese prostitution ring, so we don’t have that spare time」
「I see」

All other investigators were in similar situations.
They especially were not interested in the “school” aspect of it. Because of their Vice duties, their time to sleep was from around dawn until noon, in the morning. Infiltrating a school would mean working 24 hours with no sleep.

「For fuck’s sake. All of you are pretty much useless」

Said Zimmer, as he fleetingly cast a glance at Matoba.
It wasn’t a glance that was simply asking for help, but rather a dramatic one.
Immediately afterwards, he directed his eyes towards Tilarna, and trying to avoid being direct, he raised his eyebrows at Matoba in a gesture that said:

「Wouldn’t this kid have a chance?」

He was just talking last week in the smoking area with Matoba about Tilarna’s integration, so Matoba guessed what he was aiming for right away. With the right undercover mission, he could have Tilarna learn a few things, and with that appearance of hers, it was hard to get a good opportunity to do so. It was just a matter of doing what felt right.

Matoba nodded just slightly. And with that, Zimmer replied with a “Should we have her do it?” gesture.
「I’m at a loss. I’m also stuck working on an investigation in the morning so…」

He baited Tilarna, expecting her self nomination with a “In that case, isn’t this a job for me?”. Tilarna seemed to not have noticed the makeshift ploy between the two adults yet.

「Absolutely. I have no clue…」

Matoba and Zimmer both crossed their arms.
After a short silence, Tilarna made up her mind and spoke up.

「I- in that case, I’ll do it」
「What was that?」
「I could pass for a Farbani professor. I also have plenty of other skills that could be of use. Besides, I’m relatively free in the morning hours. If it’s just taking the time to go undercover as a teacher, then I’ll manage somehow. … What do you say?」
「Hmm…」

At Tilarna’s heated words, Matoba and Zimmer started making careful interjections. Jamie and the other investigators who guessed that it would turn out that way, started showing some subtle expressions.

「If she’s even saying that, then isn’t Tilarna just right for the Job?」
Said Matoba

「Yeah, you’re right. Then let’s have her do it.」
Said Zimmer.

Then suddenly, Tilarna’s face brightened. A school with a looming drug scandal. Infiltrating as a teacher was a difficult task. She was thinking it was the perfect scenario to prove her worth.

「Alright, Exedilika. It’s up to you.」

She was fearing that they’d chuckle at her proposal. But Zimmer just spoke bluntly.

「Show us what you can do」
Said Matoba, smiling.

「Alright. Leave it all to me」
Tilarna breathed excitedly while she puffed up her chest.

「Or so I said but… as a student?!」
Even though I’m sure I could’ve taken this task as a teacher.

The morning of the infiltration, Tilarna got off a bus in front of Sherwood High’s main entrance, and looked down at her own school uniform clad figure.
Being honest, she had gone a couple of days earlier to ask for autopsy examiner Cecil Epps’ help, and borrowed an adult suit, to try and see if she could infiltrate as a teacher. The unanimous opinion of the Vice investigators was that “she didn’t look like a teacher at all”.

Then a smiling Jamie and Camie brought in those clothes.
「Well, try them on!」 they said, taking her to the dressing room right away.

The two female investigators then forcibly removed her Mahselna pattern attire. They even removed her Oze silk underwear.

After leaving Tilarna completely naked, the two said “Let’s give you a girly makeover!” and started fondling her all over. Why was there a need to do that? Why did the two look like they were having so much fun? Tilarna didn’t understand it at all.

Unfortunately for them, Tilarna was from a noble Farbanian family. The common aspects between female personal care practices on Earth and Semani were surprisingly extensive, and so the “makeover” that the girls wanted to do, was mostly unnecessary. However, that didn’t stop them from looking at her and touching her all over. It was embarrassing, and it tickled, and her body started feeling itchy, but they made her wear all kinds of clothes besides the uniform until exhaustion.

A professional swimsuit that tightly outlined the shape of her body, or some gym clothes that covered even less skin than that. And on top of extremely tight and extremely small underwear they called supporters, they had her wear this and that, doing with her as they pleased.

As they were having her wear the sports clothes named bloomers that for some reason Japanese students had been wearing to physical education classes for ages, Matoba knocked on the door furiously.

「Hey, give it a rest! She’s not your fucking dress up doll!」

He shouted.
As Tilarna came out dejectedly wearing Sherwood High’s school uniform, the Vice investigators unanimously agreed that this looked the “most natural”.

Matoba didn’t express any opinions about it. Tilarna shook off her numbness at his attitude, and asked.

「Kei, what do you think?」
「About what?」
「About the outfit. Tell me your opinion」
「You look like a junior high student.」
「… Don’t you have anything else to say?」
「Nothing.」
That was his tone. She wasn’t expecting him to compliment her, but at least a sarcastic laugh would have been fine. That evening, she called Cecil on the phone and voiced her complains at her. Cecil laughed and replied.

「But wouldn’t it be weird if he had been ogling you in that school outfit?」
「Well, that’s true but…」

Now that she mentioned it, Tony’s partner, investigator Godonov, was ogling her intently. If Kei did something like that, maybe it would have felt wrong.
Did she want him to laugh, or did she want him to ignore her? She had no clue herself.

Well, whatever. Right now it was the undercover mission that mattered.
Tilarna became tense, and went through Sherwood High’s main entrance.

The amount of students that were getting there by foot like her was minimal, and on the other hand, most students were coming in by car. They rode past her, and into a huge parking lot right beside the entrance hall. Cars, cars, cars. She didn’t know much about the different types of Dorini cars, but even she had a feeling that they were all luxury cars.

「Awesome. There’s a Porsche, and a Jaguar… ah fuck, even a Maserati like the one you broke the other day. I couldn’t buy a single one of these cars with my entire yearly wage. What kind of family gives their child a car like this?」

Matoba grumbled on the other side of the line.

「Maybe it has to do with their family status. I also got a swift Gotha horse from my father for my knighting ceremony. Because it would have been an embarrassment in front of other nobles if the eldest daughter of the Exedilika clan got on a workhorse.」
「The pretentious rich are the same everywhere, huh」
「Say what you want」

Nobles have noble issues. No matter what she said, a plebian like Matoba would never be able to understand them.

She first headed to the principal’s office, handed over some documents and explained briefly. She received the school curriculum, and was introduced to the specifics of the institution. What to look out for, and what not to do. After the explanations were dealt with, Mr. Claude, the principal, addressed Tilarna

「These are the things you have to take care of as a student…」

Principal Claude was a man around his fifties. His skin was pale, his cheeks were sagging, and he was looking up at her with the eyes of someone who has had injustice itself fall upon him.

The death of Norune, her cause of death, the pressure her dad was putting in, the secret investigation from the police department, his collaboration after the incident was discovered… It was one nuisance after the other. This principal was probably already exhausted.

However, it seemed like what was wearing him out the most was not his student’s death, but rather the crisis that was about to hit the school.

「This school… Sherwood High is undoubtedly a prestigious school with great opportunities within the shallow history of the city of San Teresa. It’s a school that has adopted several aspects of the Japanese school system, where noble students enroll, with a passion for education. The students are brought up in an environment surrounded by economic and social discussion, and the student body is filled with overachieving students with great academic results. I you to have that completely clear.」
「Being that the case, what do you want from me?」

Said Tilarna, who didn’t understand the need for the roundabout words of the principal, and wanted to start working right away.

「Ah… Investigator Exedilika. I would like you to refrain from carrying weapons with you. No, I am not doubting your status as an investigator. But rather, the problem is that, if for any reason this undercover investigation were to be discovered, the fact that an armed official was acting on school grounds without the parents’ permission would be a great source of trouble. Their trust in the school would be severely damaged…」
「Isn’t it damaged already?」

Said Tilarna harshly.

「Mister Principal. If there weren’t a drug scandal being carried out within this school already, then I wouldn’t be right here looking like this. This is your failure for not grasping the reigns of your students with enough strength.」
「Are you saying this is my fault? Excuse me, young lady, but as an institution we cannot meddle in our students’ private lives. We can punish those who break the rules, but there is no way we are going to get involved with whatever goes on in their weekend parties!」
「Hmph. Why not?」
「You ask why?」

Tilarna kept rattling on to the puzzled director without any restraint.

「Listen here, you Dorini principal. When I was a student they were pretty strict to me. My sleeping schedule, my dinner procedures, my praying etiquette, every single detail. Those who neglected the small details would get harshly punished by our masters. The immature must be treated like that and corrected. Do you know why? Because humans were cast the curse of sloth by Meda Lehba, one of the nine evil gods. And until they are summoned to the realm of eternal spring, humans will never escape sloth. That is precisely why we must fight sloth from when we are children until we die.」
「Uh…」
「If you abide by this logic, Mister Principal, then search the students’ belongings at once. Manage everything about their appearance with a firm hand, take every single one of their luxury items away, forbid them from going out at night, and punish all of the infractors collectively. Take it as a piece of advice, from my civilized self to you.」
「This school is not the Marine Corps!」
「I don’t know what that is, but if these are things those Marine Corps do, then that seems like a good educational institution. I’m sure they’re educating some soldiers who stand above the rest.」

While that was pretty much correct, the nuance behind it was completely wrong. Matoba, who could have pointed it out to Tilarna, was at that moment right outside of the school inside his car, in the middle of doing some paperwork.

「Investigator Exedilika. Please forgive me, but… right now, I am starting to have my own doubts about you actually being an investigator for the San Teresa police department.」
「What, can’t you believe what an “alien” is saying?」

She blurted out the slur that earthlings repeatedly used to refer to Semanians.

「Absolutely not. That’s a discriminatory term. And we also have Semani students at this school. However, to be honest, I was thinking that even among Semanians, you were somewhat eccentric.」
「Not at all. It’s just that other Semanians have been poisoned by Earth」
「Oh… I see. Be as it may, going back to our conversation, I just wanted to say that you being armed was a problem.」
「In that case, there’s no problem.」

Tilarna looked confident as she showed a smile and puffed her small chest.

「I don’t have any weapons with me. I swear.」

Within the bat case hanging on her shoulder, was her Vyfert class Krége, a close combat weapon, with an unparalleled killing power, that fit in perfectly. But she wasn’t thinking for a single moment about informing the man about it.

「Well then, I’ll be going to class or whatever. Was it the chemistry classroom?」
「Let me take you there.」
「That’s not necessary. I’ve learned the layout of the school by heart.」

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