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Cop Craft Volume 4 Chapter 3 Part 1

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“Translator: ClefRunner”

“Editor: Weasalopes”

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Cecil Epps had just gotten done taking the measurements of a half skull that had been left in her care, when she checked her emails.

She was almost certain that the man had taken his own life. He was over fifty years old, and his blood was filled with alcohol. There was a small wound on his thumb from the recoil of shooting the gun. According to the report, the bullets used were caliber 308, 168 grains hollow point boat tails, which had entered his body via his oral cavity, and exited by the back of his head.

The resport further read that “due to external wounds caused by the bullets, the man is presumed to be dead”, but that phrase was indeed stupid. That kind of thing was evident just by casting a quick glance at him.

What sort of half a century long life did he live? What was he thinking the instant he pulled the trigger to end his own life? She had forced thoughts like that out of her mind a long time ago. They only managed to depress her.

She decided to take a break, so she removed the latex gloves off her hands, and left Bancroft, her assistant, in charge before leaving the autopsy room. She then grabbed her smartphone from the back pocket, and checked her emails.

「Huh?」

She had received a message from Tilarna Exedilika. That was unusual.

Her Semanian friend had only recently arrived on Earth, in San Teresa city, and she still didn’t even know how to email other people. Even when she herself sent her an email, Tilarna would not send one back, but instead give her a call right away and reply on the phone.

The content of the email read:

dear cecil

i am sorry for troubling you with this letter
i am in very big trouble
would you be able to come to my place right now it is very urgent

i switched bodies with kuroi
so even if you speak to what appears to be me thats kuroi
please do keep that in mind
i am extraordinarily desperate
i can only rely on you as my friend and as an exceptionally levelheaded dorini
in any case, i need you to come right now

your friend
tilarna exedilika

It seemed that she was unable to switch between uppercase and lowercase characters. The text looked like it had been written by a gullible child, but the words were pressing and urgent. Despite there being a lot she didn’t understand, the email awakened an indescribable bizarre uneasiness in her.

Did something bad happen…?

Cecil was genuinely worried that something extraordinary had actually happened to Tilarna’s soul. She was pondering replying to Tilarna first, or contacting Kei Matoba first, but right then she received another email from Tilarna.

dear cecil

i forgot to tell you but dont say anything about this to kei

your friend
tilarna exedilika

If she was asking her that, then maybe it would be best to tell Kei about it later. In any case she replied with “Understood. I’m on my way”, took off her lab coat, and told people in the office that she would “be right back”. She wasn’t done with her autopsy yet, but she still had some free time for the day. Being absent for a short while was not a big deal.

She put on her jacket, left the morgue and headed straight for the parking lot, while trying to contact Tilarna. She picked up the phone immediately.

「Tilarna? I saw your email. What’s going on?」
「Nyaa」
「? Kuroi?」
「Nyaa nyaa, nyaa. Meow, nyaa nyaa meow. Nyaa!」
「Ah… you’re such a cute girl. Yes you are. I wanted to talk to Tilarna. Well, not like you would understand what I’m saying…」
「Nyaa! Nyaa nyaa, nyaa!」
「In any case, I’m on my way, so you just stay there and be a good girl, okay?」

She hung up, and got on her three year old Cherokee. Cecil drove to Tilarna and Kei’s apartment in New Compton.

~o~O~o~

San Teresa City’s confiscated goods warehouse was located just north of downtown, in the Farguard Airport ward. It was roughly a fifteen minute drive from HQ, right next to the customs authorities building, surrounded by several gigantic warehouses.

The confiscated goods warehouse was technically under the government’s control, but several official institutions ,the police department and the coast guard were allowed to use it. In practice, over ninety percent of the warehouse’s contents were handled by the Police Department… but even then, the maintenance costs were still the government’s responsibility, so since a few years back there had been discussion on both ends and the situation had been getting difficult.

Well, to a regular investigator like Matoba, it did not matter either way. Whether the warehouse was property of the Minister of Finance, or the Customs Office, it still looked like an average rental warehouse. However, since the facility was home to many valuable and valuable looking items, it had strict policies for officers. The entire perimeter was surrounded by a barbed wire fence, and equipped with security cameras and all sorts of sensors that were directed straight at any junkie that would attempt to take a part of the police’s small fortune.

Matoba carried the confiscated items inside, and signed whatever documents the clerks at the warehouse needed. While he was filling out some forms they said were necessary, he indirectly asked the clerk

「Hey. This is just mere curiosity, but— has any big stuff been brought in recently? Like, say, a Maserati or something」
「A Maserati? Ah… that?」

The clerk smirked. Occasionally even luxury cars would be brought in after being confiscated from powerful drug lords. Matoba had managed to get permission to borrow a million dollar Maseratti with the excuse of it being necessary for a string operation.

Unfortunately, he could only use it for a day from the start of his mission, and that chance had already passed.

It was Tilarna’s fault

But Matoba still had some hope that they would eventually bring in another new “seized item”

「She was a beauty wasn’t she? But it’s a shame. We rarely ever get cars like that around here」
「Figures…」

Muttered Matoba with a tone reminiscent of someone contemplating their memories with a lost lover.

And the Volkswagen he was currently driving may be a good car, but it was still a model over fifty years old. It didn’t have enough power, and its fuel consumption and constant failures made him want to cry.

Matoba asked the clerk to “let me know as soon as you get a good one”, and left the warehouse.

He started driving back downtown in his car. Farguard County was close to both the airport and the sea port, so most vehicles on its roads were usually either large container trucks or trailers. Then again, the time of day before noon was already past the time when most of those types of vehicles scattered around San Teresa City, and even all over Cariaena Island, and vanished from the area, so the streets were fairly deserted.

He had not even had breakfast, so he was hungry.

He stopped by a burger joint on his way to the office, and decided to have lunch early. He ordered a cheeseburger with fried chicken, and a large coffee, and waited about ten minutes for his order.

But just as Matoba was about to take the first bite of his cheeseburger, his phone rang. It was a call from officer Hernandez from the CBP. He clicked his tongue and answered.

「I’m at the confiscated items warehouse」

Hernandez spoke abruptly without even saying hello.

「And I am checking the inventory of the items you just brought. When we made the list yesterday we had forty eight confirmed Semanian made items, but checking them now there were only forty seven. What is the meaning of this?」
「Ah… is that so? That’s pretty odd…」

Matoba furrowed his brow as he vaguely replied.

He looked at his wristwatch. It was 11:15 in the morning. Only twenty minutes after Matoba had left the warehouse. It was true that Hernandez had told him to “bring in the confiscated items before eleven” but even going by that it was too early.

Normally he would just think of him as a workaholic, but after his earlier conversation with Zimmer, he could feel the same unpleasant feeling from before creeping up his spine.

It was true that it had been his mistake. So apologizing seemed like the obvious choice, but Matoba instead decided to deliberately play dumb.

「Well, that kind of thing happens sometimes anyways, right? With all the chaos around us last night and everything」
「I can’t just accept a reason like that. We still don’t even know the value of the items, and we also don’t know if they might hold any value in the Semani world. We’re also at risk of delaying our evaluation of the items with the consulate, which would become a new, large problem in and of itself」
「It didn’t look like particularly valuable stuff. My partner comes from a noble family over there, and she said that none of that junk looked to be of particular importance」
「That girl, huh? I can’t trust the things that the very person who brought down the airplane is saying」
「Huh… is that so? Well, it’s not like I don’t get it」
「We won’t be able to move on with the procedures like this. Bring in the remaining item immediately. If you don’t then you will be charged with a theft felony」
「Hey hey. I’m sure it’s just misplaced somewhere. What’s with you and that overbearing attitude of yours?」
「That’s just…」

Hernandez’s words faltered on the other end of the phone

「That’s just obvious. Your awful attitude has been pissing me off since yesterday」
「I see. I’m sorry for that」
「In any case, bring in the remaining item quickly. Got it?」

Hernandez said as he immediately hung up the phone.

「What is his deal…?」

Matoba groaned as he stared at his phone.

It was true that he had been somewhat careless, so there was nothing to do about it. All that was left was to go back and find it. It probably was somewhere in his house, or maybe somewhere inside his car, and if not then maybe it was in the Police Department’s HQ office. If he looked for it in those places, then he was sure to find it. But besides, even if he didn’t find it, it wasn’t like somebody had been badly injured, or killed. Based on that mindset, Matoba didn’t worry too much about it.

But even then, Hernandez’s attitude was offputting.

If the incident had been so grave that both the regional and local authorities had gotten involved, unified under an institution as important as the FBI and recruiting and relocating a lot of their human resources and officers towards the case, then Matoba probably should have been more strict with his handling of the confiscated items. It was very likely that being reckless would lead to their entire squad getting completely destroyed in that case.

But this time it was not that kind of problem.

It was just a small incident with some minor smuggling on a rural part of Cariaena Island. It would probably get a column in a local Golanbitha newspaper, but it would never make the front page of the San Teresa Post.

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