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Volume 6 Chapter 3 Part 11

Translation and editing by Team Foxsunes

I can understand what Heinrich wants to say. There isn’t a reason not to understand that. I thought I knew it well. I didn’t want to cause her trouble ever again and I thought I was working well to fulfill that goal but I was made to realize that I just felt like I was doing well and that the reality wasn’t like that at all.

｢Filmina-dono, do you know what this is?｣

｢No, is it some sort of drug?｣

｢Yes, whoever ingests it gets into an apparent state of death. It is a secret medicine of the royal family.｣

｢!｣

I got started by his words that were told in such an indifferent manner. I raised my gaze from the table and looked at the youth, his expression hadn’t changed as he looked calm as usual. It was because he was calm that I couldn’t guess his intentions. He said that it was the secret drug of the royal family. Why does this youth have it? For what purpose? I looked at the bottle and then at Heinrich’s face, he brushed his fingertips against the bottle containing the drug.

｢It is an extremely strong drug and I said the state of apparent death but if you are unlucky, it can kill you. Only the people chosen by the princess can have this and it’s just that I was chosen this time.｣

｢Why is there such a thing…..｣

｢Can’t you guess?｣

His left eye pierced me. I felt like the tip of a sharp knife was kept against my throat. I felt like my throat would be cut open any second. Heinrich’s voice was bad for my heart more than being scolded or made fun of. 

｢The princess’ power is immense. Nobody- not even the princess is allowed to use it for her own benefit. His majesty the king has ordered me to stop the princess if she goes rogue using this drug.｣

He spoke differently but it wasn’t something AI could bear with a straight face. I heard my heart pounding from a second-person perspective and clenched my hands on my knees.

｢Does the princess also know this?｣

Was my voice trembling? To my faint voice, the youth raised his voice as if to ask if I was serious about my question. 

｢Of course. I told you right that this drug is to be held by whoever gets chosen by the princess? Princess decided it herself and gave this to me herself. For the sake of the time when something goes wrong.｣

A strong poison for a what-if situation. If the princess’ powers are considered, it is an obvious safety measure that needs to exist since everyone thinks that her power itself is the will of the goddess herself and that it shouldn’t be used for an individual. It’s probably an obvious thing and the princess understands it too and that’s why the princess has accepted the existence of such a drug. She has kept a drug that can possibly kill her if something goes wrong, her resolve is far stronger than I could ever reach or understand. I don’t want to understand it since I want the princess to live no matter what. But my feelings are like a child’s stubbornness for someone who is going to inherit the throne someday. To prove my point, Heinrich’s eyes had a glow that had transcended anger or mockery and was filled with pity.

｢Although, I don’t intend on using this drug, since I don’t intend on making princess do anything like that. But I do understand the reason behind this drug and I have the resolve as the person to whom this was entrusted. Filmina-dono, your status is that of the princess’ friend, do you know the responsibility and meaning your position holds?｣

｢That…is.｣

｢Pardon me but to me, it doesn’t seem like you understand. Since if you understood it well then you wouldn’t have protected the medium like that.｣

I didn’t know how to reply to Heinrich’s merciless words. All I could do was tighten my grip on my knees. Protecting the medium means fulfilling his wishes and it isn’t wrong but if I truly want what’s the best for the princess then it isn’t something I should have done. The lessons given to the medium for becoming a king consort isn’t only for the good of the medium, it is rather for the princess more than for that boy. For the princess who is going to reign as the queen, the medium who is going to be the closest person to support her I am teaching the medium etiquettes, Edi is teaching magic and Heinrich is teaching him politics, all of that is for the sake of the princess and not for the medium. And that’s what the youth, Heinrich is saying. I didn’t think about what it means to protect the medium keeping all these things in my mind. I was made to realize how foolish I was not realizing something this obvious. 

After I realized that I was trembling, I stopped myself by clenching my fists, and Heinrich’s smile disappeared in front of my eyes. 

｢Seems like you have realized it but I’ll repeat it anyway. I know that I am being rude but you should think about your position and the princess’ position one more time.｣

｢Hng!｣

I gasped. I couldn’t counter his argument. There isn’t an excuse or an explanation that can hold any value in front of this youth. I wanted to look down and escape the light in his eye but his cold expression didn’t allow me to do so. 

｢If your existence is going to be the princess’ weakness then I would use all the means to get rid of you. Even if she needs you to be around her. You are nothing more than shackles for the princess at the moment.｣

It is easy to deny what he had stated but I couldn’t do it. There was no way I could do that. I was frustrated that I couldn’t say what I wanted to say. Princess is an irreplaceable friend for me and I believe she thinks the same about me. But even so, if I am becoming a burden for her then I should just leave but I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to leave her, if I could do something noble like that then I would have done it a long time ago, but as you can see, I wasn’t able to do that. Since no matter what others say, I want to remain friends with her, my feelings at the moment might end being bad for the princess and it is just me being childish and selfish. Heinrich probably wants to say that to me that I am not needed. 

I was completely at loss of words, Heinrich kept staring at me with his bright green eye squinted. His eye was eloquently stating that he could see through my feelings. 

｢I’m glad that you’ve finally understood. If it is possible, keep it in your mind and never forget.｣

He was subtly stating that he wasn’t expecting anything from me and not to do anything unnecessary. 

｢I’ll take my leave.｣

He briefly said that and stood up. He proceeded to walk to the door passing me, who was frozen due and then he left the room. I couldn’t do anything, I knew it would be impolite but I couldn’t stand up to bow, I couldn’t even look back. Me trying to protect the princess or me protecting the medium, neither of my actions were good for the princess. In fact they had a negative impact on her path. Considering her personality she isn’t someone to keep quiet and be protected, if she sees her friend in front of her about to be killed then she would be the shield to protect, as seen during the assault on our way here and if I let the medium get away with things he’ll cause trouble in the future when he stands next to the princess due to lack of education. 

Either of them are something that anyone can think of if they thought for a bit but I didn’t think at all. I was just happy that the princess relied upon me and I found the medium who admired me cute. I wasn’t thinking about the things that can go wrong. I’m the worst, if self-loathe could kill then I would have died on this spot. 

I covered my face with my hands,  I wonder how much time had passed after that, I heard a knock and I sluggishly lifted up my face. Even if the princess had allowed me to stay, at the end of the day it is her room and it isn’t polite to stay for this long. Maybe someone from the maids has come to urge me to leave.

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