Volume 8 Chapter 2 Part 5
Fiancée of the Wizard
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Translation by Goma
Editing by Team Foxsunes
That’s it. I surrender. Even if it was irrational, self-centered, or selfish; I did not care whatever else it was. I felt it was Noct’s kindness. Wasn’t that everything that mattered?
「This, you still had this huh」
「I couldn’t find the time to throw it away」
「Still, I am happy. Regrettably, I felt happy」
When I caressed the scarf I had been given, my smile I had been faking fell apart. As I continued with what I said without caring about my change in expressions, Noct awkwardly spluttered.
I wondered if he actually missed the opportunity to throw it away, or he was simply not being honest when he said so. Whichever it was, I was happy. Something was wrong with me, that I was moved by such a small thing. Nevertheless, the warmth of the scarf gently wrapped my anger.
「If you had only let me hate you without guilt. Indeed, you are mean」
I managed another smile, but if I was not careful, I felt that I could cry any moment. Really, I was right. If he could only let me hate him without feeling guilty. But this child’s actions did not let me do so. Well, he resembles somebody, doesn’t he? I wondered how much trouble this child was going to bring me before he was satisfied.
「Sorry. Really, I am sorry」
Towards my awkward smile, Noct crunched his face. With a downcast face and clenched fists, Noct apologized painfully. I wondered what he was apologizing for. I also had to apologize.
「No, no. You are wrong. I did not want to make you apologize. Me too, sorry for saying mean things」
Saying this, I hung the scarf on Noct’s neck once again like before. Nock jolted his shoulders as if he was surprised. I finally smiled at him naturally. You see, this scarf suited this boy very well.
「I should have wrapped that scarf around Edi’s neck when I sent him」
It was inappropriate to make a joke out of such a situation. But I could not but think this way.
Under the cold sky, the man had been taken by the priests with only one layer of coat on. At least I should have made him bring the azure and bluish-purple scarf I had knit for him. Even if the church would have taken it away, I wanted him to feel the connection with me until the last moment.
「Edi……」
What are you doing now? Will you allow me to pray for your wellbeing?
I could not stop myself from murmuring his name. Noct stared at me. His mouth opened as if he had something to say, then closed without making a noise. I did not know when, but his expression had returned to his blank face. But I wondered why. To me, he looked like something was causing great suffering for him. Or was this wishful thinking, that I hoped that he would be like this?
However, before I could ask him what the『something』causing his suffering was, he turned around and started walking off.
「W, wait…….!」
It was almost instinctive that I grabbed the scarf wrapped around Noct. Because of this, I accidentally pulled it harder than I had intended. The scarf tightened around Noct’s throat, and Noct’s head tilted backward. I let go of the scarf hurriedly
「S, sorry. Are you alright? 」
「…….I am alright. Then, what. Do you have something for me? 」
Holding his neck, he turned around. Looking into Noct’s yellow eyes, I said, 「Umm」
「If, if you don’t mind. Do you want to bring your meal and eat together? Or have you already eaten? 」
——-What on earth was I saying?
Only then did the realization come to me; that I was saying something really weird. How weird did I have to be to amicably eat with a kidnapper? Naturally, Noct also seemed to have the same impression, because he wrinkled his eyebrows a lot and tilted his head.
「Do you have an issue with the food?」
「I don’t have much problem with the food itself. But I just feel sad eating alone. Aren’t you eating alone? Or do you eat with your mother? 」
Then I would have no choice but to give up. Even I did not want to eat with the demon. But if not, if possible, I wanted to eat with Noct. Because I had vented my anger on Noct earlier on, I felt immense hesitation to invite him. Nevertheless, the hesitation could not replace the loneliness I felt.
Ever since I had married the man, I had thought I had gotten used to eating alone at our Lancent estate. However, these days I had quite a few meals that were lively. Yesterday and today when I was eating by myself, I could feel myself somewhat getting more depressed. Even with self-bias, I felt I was becoming very mentally weak.
At the same time, I also thought. I wanted to talk to this boy more. I must, talk to him. I must listen to what this boy had to say. I could not help but think.
「Okay, please? Can we? 」
The moment I said so, the ends of Noct’s eyebrows lowered as if he was troubled. Could I be understood if I describe it as so: Noct had someone vigorously point out something he did not want to be picked.
I did not intend to say something serious. Thus, I was surprised at the unexpected reaction he gave. Was it because Noct was eating something much more extravagant, and was uncomfortable to dine with me?
It was a matter of course that the treatment between Noct and I would be different. I did not intend to be fussy about that but—–after thinking for a while, I heard Noct’s stomach rumble loudly.
Oh yes. I had heard this sound when we first met. I recalled such a memory as if it was from the distant past. I could not help but laugh. After waiting for Noct to calm down whilst he reddened up in restlessness, I said. 「Please, Noct」, as if to remind him.
His yellow eyes wavered as if in indecision. His black beastly ears twitched vigorously, and then, he finally said.
「It is not possible」
Even though it was small, it was a clear-cut rejection. Though I had invited him, I had also expected such a reply. That was why I was not surprised. But still, I was disappointed.
「Is it because you would be scolded by your mother? Not only that, I did do something mean to you. You don’t want to be with me, right? I am sorry for asking for something impossible」
「No. You’re wrong. Mother would not care about such things, and I am not angry at your words because they are true. It’s not, that」
「Not that?」
If it is not that, then what was his actual reason? When I tilted my head, Noct bit his lip hard. Then, after a long silence, he finally opened his mouth.
「…….I don’t have, a share」
「What?」
What did he mean he did not have a share? Noct flung my hand off as I stood there blinking. Then, he swiftly headed toward the door. Slightly running, I overtook him and stood between him and the door.
Noct glared at me as if to say, go away. However, at this point, I was not scared at all. The man’s glare was much more menacing than Noct’s glare……..that aside, what I needed to consider was what Noct had said earlier on.
I am sure there was no other meaning to his answer; literally, he did not have a meal. Perhaps the reason why food was prepared for me as the kidnapped was simply to keep me alive. I could understand this. But this did not constitute a reason why Noct would not need food.
Wait. It did not look like the demon valued me that much. Although she intended to use me for her purposes, she seemingly did not feel the need to treat me with respect.
Would she then nicely provide food for me? Were demons known to be so kind? Was I of higher priority than Noct? The answers to all the questions were, no. Then.
「Don’t tell me that the food I have been eating had been all yours」
「………..」
Noct did not answer my question. Then, he looked away awkwardly. His refusal to answer was itself an answer. Nevertheless, I placed both my hands on my waist, and glared at Noct’s face.
「So? Noct? 」
「………..Y, yes」
With a small voice resembling a mosquito’s cry, Noct said yes to my question. Argh, I could not take it. Really, I could not believe how troublesome the boy was. If he could just obediently play the bad guy, then I would be able to be angry at him and hate him without any guilty conscience. Ah, I had thought of this just now as well. Yet, this boy did not allow me to do so. What a mean boy he was.
「Why did you do that? You don’t have the obligation to cater to me until such an extent, don’t you? 」
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