Don’t Worry About Me. Just Cook the Egg! – Part 03
After magic training, I wandered around outside until five in the morning. Even after all that walking, I didn’t run into a single Megalo or Vampire Ninja.
Back when Eu was around, monsters showed up almost daily. I guess that really was tied to her emotions.
Either way, I headed home empty-handed. Ugh, I was starving.
I walked into the living room. There was no one there. That emptiness hit harder than I expected. Normally, Eu would be here. It had only been about a month since she started living with me, and yet… this feeling.
There it was again. That tightening in my chest. Like I needed to chug a gallon of water or something.
I headed into the kitchen and opened the fridge. Nothing.
I could hit up the convenience store. Nah. Better just get ready for school.
As I walked upstairs toward my room, I heard something. Music.
Peeking into Sera’s room, I spotted her—beautiful as ever—playing the violin. The song sounded kinda familiar.
Ah, that was it. The track that played when the Unfettered Shogun[1] went on a rampage. The part where he was walking down the hallway, cutting down like five guys.
So she actually wanted to play the violin. I should leave her be. I quietly closed the door.
Out in the hallway again, I noticed something else. More music, this time coming from Haruna’s room.
That explained it. With different songs coming from both sides, it was hard to tell what I was hearing earlier.
All right then, what kind of tune was Haruna playing?
As I reached for the doorknob, her voice drifted out.
“Aaah. Doop-a-dee-ba-ba-dow.”
Crap! That was the end. I missed the Full House[2] theme.
“Haruna!”
I flung the door open, nearly in tears. Songs that hit you with nostalgia like that just make you need to hear them all the way through. I needed her to start again from the top.
Standing in the middle of her room was Haruna, wearing nothing but a pair of sky-blue checkered panties and holding a melodica.
I was pretty sure that melodica belonged to my little brother. Man, talk about a throwback.
“What the hell are you wearing?”
“A-Ayumu?! You barged in again! You damn Mega Man XXX!”[3]
Huh, she changed the X part. She could’ve gone for Mega Maniac or something.
She grabbed the camisole tossed on her bed and scrambled to cover her chest. I turned my back to her to give her some privacy.
“So, uh, what were you doing half-naked?”
My reward for being considerate was a flying kick square in the back. This son of a bitch.
“XXX-men! Triple XXX!”
I guess the naming possibilities were endless. She kept stomping on my back while I just silently endured it.
Eventually, after taking a deep breath to cool down, she explained, “I woke up and was about to change when I saw this.” She blew into the melodica.
So even if she was in the middle of changing, anything interesting took priority. That was very Haruna.
I turned to face her and brought my hands together. “Please, can you start that song over from the beginning?”
“Huh? No way. You’re just gonna make fun of me.”
Now dressed in just a camisole and panties, Haruna stuck out her tongue at me. The sky-blue checkered underwear was actually kinda cute. My gaze drifted down, and she immediately used the camisole to block my view.
“I won’t make fun of you.”
“Okay, then.”
Haruna raised the melodica like a trumpet. Her cowlick moved in a 4/4 rhythm like a conductor’s baton.
The sound she produced completely defied what a melodica was supposed to be. It didn’t even sound like a melodica. It was more like a piano.
But that didn’t last long. Soon, the sound reached the richness of an organ. And then, somehow it changed again, this time into the proper sound of an actual trumpet.
What do I mean, proper? Am I stupid? And why is a melodica making trumpet sounds?!
And to top it off, she wasn’t even playing the Full House theme anymore. It was the theme from Hagure Keiji: Junjōha.[4]
Still, I couldn’t say I hated it.
When she finished the song, I gave her a light round of applause.
“Haruna, that was…” I began.
She narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “You are gonna make fun of me, aren’t you?”
I shook my head.
“That was great. Seriously. When it comes to stuff like this, I think you’re a real genius.”
She blushed and turned her face away, clearly flustered. Her cowlick, on the other hand, pumped its little invisible fist like it was celebrating. Deep down she was probably thinking, I knew it! I’m awesome!
Feeling proud, Haruna raised a fist. “All right, then! Next up is my original song: Neolithic Polyester!”
What a very intriguing title.
By the time I finished messing around, it was already past six. The sun rose early during the summer, and if I didn’t hurry, I wouldn’t make it to school.
To tell whether a zombie could walk around safely, I didn’t look at the sky. I looked at the ground.
If I couldn’t see people’s shadows, it was still okay. If they showed up clearly, it was game over.
Right now, I was safe. I rushed off and snuck into school, heading straight to my classroom.
Tomonori was asleep in my seat. Lately, she’d started showing up at the exact same time as me every day. She must’ve gotten tired of waiting.
I sat in the desk in front of mine, careful not to wake her, and let out a yawn.
Her sleeping face looked really dumb. I started rummaging through my pencil case, thinking about doodling on her a little, when she stretched her arm and started mumbling in her sleep. Her sleeping posture was awful.
“I can’t… eat any more.”
A classic sleep-talking line.
“Wh-Who are you?! You tricked me! You killed my family!”
Did she get poisoned?
“Nope. You’ve got the wrong person.”
Shit. I actually answered her. I meant to keep the commentary in my head, but I ended up saying it out loud.
“A-Aikawa. Took you long enough.” She let out a huge yawn with zero shame, rubbing her eyes.
“Sorry for interrupting your beauty sleep.”
“Did you sneak in a kiss?” She giggled like that cartoon dog from Wacky Races.[5]
“I’m not Orito. I don’t do that creepy stuff.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know. I was just kidding.”
For someone who just woke up, her energy was way too high. It was six in the morning, for crying out loud.
“Y-You brought the potatoes, right?”
Potatoes?
“Why potatoes?”
“Don’t tell me… you forgot we have cooking class today?”
I scraped through my brain like I was digging it out with a spoon, and managed to recall her mentioning something about cooking class after gym the other day.
“Oh!”
She definitely told me not to forget the potatoes. It completely slipped my mind.
“My bad. I’m really sorry!” I put my hands together and bowed my head.
“I guess that’s just on brand for you.”
She let out a little sigh, then flashed me that same doggy, full-toothed grin again.
1. The Unfettered Shogun was a Japanese television program on the TV Asahi network. Set in the eighteenth century, it showed fictitious events in the life of Yoshimune, the eighth Tokugawa shōgun.
2. Full House is a popular American sitcom created by Jeff Franklin, which was huge in Japan.
3. Mega Man X is a series of action-platform games released by Capcom.
4. Hagure Keiji: Junjōha is a long-running Japanese police procedural drama produced by TV Asahi and Toei Company.
5. Wacky Races is a classic Hanna-Barbera animated series featuring 11 distinct, gadget-laden cars competing in chaotic, cross-country road rallies to win the title of World’s Wackiest Racer. Inspired by the film The Great Race, the show is famous for its colorful characters, slapstick humor, and the villainous duo Dick Dastardly and his snickering dog Muttley, who constantly plot to win through cheating, only for their schemes to backfire.
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