Yes. While I Was Spinning the Wheel to Make Gyoza Wrappers, for Some Strange Reason, I Ended Up with This – Part 01
“We’ve got the hearts of treasure hunters!”
Orito’s glasses flashed. His clenched fist wasn’t for throwing punches. It was holding back the heat of his passion.
Normally I’d ignore him, but this time I nodded gravely in agreement.
“I get it. There isn’t a man who wouldn’t be thrilled at the sight of treasure.”
“But we must never become treasure hunters!”
“Yeah. Because stealing is a crime.”
“Yo, Aikawa! What’re you two talking about?”
A short-haired girl appeared, her hands clasped behind her head. She had the look of a lively, energetic tomboy, her mouth seeming as if it were always smiling. Planting both hands on her hips, she stood like a guard at the gates, eyes wide with curiosity as she looked between me and Orito.
“Tomonori, you’re a man too. Your heart races when you see something beautiful, right?” Orito asked, mussing his spiky hair.
“Hmm. Well, I’m a woman, but yeah, my heart races.”
“Orito, don’t expect her to get what we’re talking about.”
Tomonori’s smile dimmed. “Aw, come on. Don’t say that. Let me in on the conversation.” She grabbed my shoulders and shook me hard.
I highly doubted she would get it, but I went on wearily, “All right then, Tomonori. Which excites you more: finding treasure by accident, or digging it up yourself?”
“What? Hmm. I’d say… finding it by accident. If you weren’t even looking for it and it just popped up, it’s like, Whoa! you know?”
“Oh? Didn’t expect that.”
I was honestly impressed. I figured most people valued treasure they’d dug up themselves more.
“See, Aikawa? She’s one of us after all.”
“Looks that way. I underestimated you, Tomonori.”
Orito and I crossed our arms and nodded in unison.
Tomonori put a hand on her head and smiled. “Aw, you flatter me.”
“Orito, my man. This just proves our theory even more—panty flashes and wardrobe malfunctions are only magical when they happen by accident.”
“Huh?”
“Exactly. Never thought a girl like Tomonori would appreciate the resplendence of a panty flash. Maybe she really is a guy.”
“What?”
We all laughed. Orito and I wore smiles as clear as the summer sky. Tomonori’s was as dry as a desert.
“Y-You two… are unbelievable pervs,” Tomonori remarked.
“What are you saying?” Orito said.
“Yeah. That’s the kind of thing someone who’s never met a real pervert would say.”
“Ugh, enough already! What are you even talking about?! Can’t we have a wholesome conversation?” Tomonori ruffled her short hair hard, hunting for a new topic.
“We were just talking about how there’s no guy alive who doesn’t want to see panties.” Orito turned a palm upward and shook his head. “You just don’t get it.”
I folded my arms and nodded along. “Exactly. Perfectly wholesome topic.”
“So you really wanna see ’em that bad?”
Tomonori planted her hands on her hips, eyes narrowing. It looked like she’d given up on changing the subject.
“Yeah, I wanna see ’em.”
“Of course.”
“Then how about I show you?” She grinned wickedly, pinched her skirt, and tugged it up just enough to tease.
“Nah, I’m good,” I said.
“Huh?” She looked baffled by how fast I shot that down.
She still didn’t get it. Where was the fun in panties shown without a shred of modesty? The real charm came when they flashed by accident, and the girl’s embarrassment shone brighter than any diamond. We weren’t that desperate.
All right, time for a thirty-minute lecture.
“Were you even listening? We were talking about how the magic is in the accidental flashes.”
Right, Orito? I gave him a quick glance as I went on about the sheer power of a good panty flash.
“Lady Tomonori! I beg you, show mercy to this wretched soul!”
Seriously, man? Behind his glasses, his eyes moistened like a puppy’s as he tried to cling to Tomonori’s arm koala-style.
“Hey, cut it out! I-I was obviously joking. Like I’d show you. Stop grabbing me!”
“So when you said, a man’s word is his bond, that was a lie?!”
“I’m not a guy, and I never said that.”
“Just show me already!” Orito pinched the hem of her skirt.
“And then what?!”
“Same as with jewels! Burn the image into my eyes, or wear them.”
“You are not wearing them!”
Tomonori’s fist came down in a corkscrew blow, straight onto the crown of Orito’s spiky head, nailing the pressure point at the top of the skull.
Looking closely, her fist was clenched with the middle‑finger joint jutting out. A caltrop!
Orito collapsed onto the desk and didn’t stir even after a ten-count.
That was Tomonori for you. No mercy for humans either. Ninjas sure play dirty.
“Humans are greedy creatures. They’re pitiful, lonely animals that can’t help but want more than they need.”
I wrapped it up neatly, mostly because there wasn’t much else worth mentioning besides Orito getting wrecked.
All right. Time for lunch.
School had ended, but the summer sun outside the window clung to the sky like that creepy one in Super Mario Bros. 3, refusing to go down. It looked like I wouldn’t be moving around for a while yet.
Lately my life was the same routine—school during the day, then out at night searching for Eu or those pseudo-Megalo.
But I hadn’t found a single lead. Not even one Megalo. Thanks to the whole mess with Sera, even the Vampire Ninjas at school wouldn’t give me information.
Maybe Eu really had gone back to the Underworld. I still wanted to go see her no matter where she was… but I had no way to do it.
Somewhere along the way, a voice inside me started whispering, “Just give up already.” That voice had always been there. But now there was another voice beside it, yelling, “There’s gotta be a way.” That one had moved in only recently, and it made my chest itch all the time. Annoying as hell.
Getting ready for the long wait until sunset, I sent Orito to the convenience store for salmon rice balls. We ate them together while chatting about nothing in particular.
Orito sat in the desk in front of mine, and Tomonori dragged over a chair from the side to sit next to me. This scene had become so normal for me.
When Orito went off to the bathroom and our conversation hit a lull, Tomonori suddenly started fidgeting.
“You heading to the bathroom too?” I asked.
“N-No, you idiot!” She raised a fist at me, but let it drop. Then she reached into her bag and pulled something out. “Here you go.”
“Hm? Tickets?”
“I-I thought maybe we could… go to the planetarium together.”
“Planetarium? They sell advance tickets for that?”
“I worked hard to get these, you know.”
She gave me a thumbs-up, and for a moment she actually looked kind of cute. More girlish than her usual brisk demeanor.
So she likes romantic stuff like this, huh.
“Space is amazing, you know!”
She laced her fingers together, her eyes sparkling like stars as she gazed out the window, eyes of a girl in love.
Yeah, it was amazing, sure… but weren’t there better places to go for fun?
Two tickets. I guess that ruled out inviting Haruna or Sera.
Orito came back from the bathroom, and Tomonori started to launch into another pitch for the planetarium.
“Oh? What’s that? Dragons vs. Giants tickets?”[1]
I honestly didn’t know how to describe the look on her face just then. Complicated was the only word for it.
Orito snatched the tickets from my hand. “Planetarium? You like that kinda stuff? I wouldn’t have guessed that from a track member.”
He smirked at her, and her expression turned downright murderous. Smart of him to figure out right away they were hers. He knew I wouldn’t be caught dead at a place like that.
“Space is amazing, okay!” Tomonori shouted, thrusting her hands toward the ceiling.
Orito just waved the tickets around and ignored her. Tomonori hopped in place, trying to grab them, but the height difference left her swatting at air.
“Aikawa, let’s go together!”
“I’d rather go alone than go with you.”
I took the tickets back from Orito and handed them to Tomonori.
“Come on, let’s go together. Please, just this once in my life!” She pressed her palms together, pleading.
It was hard to turn her down when she looked that desperate. Why was she so dead set on this, anyway?
Maybe Orito was thinking the same thing, because he tilted his head, fiddled with his spiky hair, and asked, “Hey, Tomonori, why are you so desperate about this?”
Tomonori looked away from me. She opened her hands and tapped her fingertips together, fidgeting.
“Well… summer break’s coming soon,” she mumbled, barely opening her mouth.
What the hell is that cute reaction?
“Then just go during summer break. You stupid or what?” Orito shrugged and snorted.
“It’s just… my scores on the makeup exam ended up… lower than my finals.”
It was the kind of shameless delivery that said yep, I screwed up. Normally, retakes were supposed to improve your score.
Curious just how terrible they were, I asked, “How bad were they?”
“Every subject… minus two points.”
“What do you mean minus?!” Orito and I blurted in unison.
I could maybe understand scoring in the negatives for one subject. But every subject? That took a special kind of effort.
“Somehow, I ended up writing Maelstrom in the name field.”
Her Vampire Ninja name. I guess it was technically her real name, so I couldn’t really blame… her. Nah, I totally could.
“You from overseas or what?!” Orito smacked her on the head.
“A-Anyway! I don’t have a summer break now. Which means I won’t get to see Aikawa.”
“Then invite me! Why him? Why Aikawa?!”
“Because I’m his wi—”
“Got it, Tomonori. We’ll go tomorrow,” I cut her off before she could blurt out wife again.
I’d thought she saw me as just a friend now, but nope. I guess that title stuck.
“Really? You’ll go with me? I knew you were a good guy, Aikawa! No one else would go with me to the planetarium.”
Well, it might be a good distraction. It could help clear up the haze swirling in my mind.
“Tomonori! Why not me? Why Aikawa?!” Tears streamed down behind Orito’s glasses as he reached out to her.
“Honestly, I just don’t wanna walk around alone with you.” She batted his hand away and pouted, turning her face from him.
“Ah… okay, that hurt a little.” Orito froze like he’d been hit with Break from FFIV.[2]
Maybe out of pity, Tomonori glanced back at him. I kind of pitied him too.
“There’s a rumor you like putting your arm around girls’ waists,” Tomonori said.
Yeah. No defending himself there.
“Of course I do! A little touching on a date is only natural, right?”
“That’s exactly why I don’t want to! I’m not walking around with some creep who thinks like that.”
“C-Creep? For real, for real?”
Orito turned his puppy eyes to me, like he wanted me to say she was wrong.
“I’m too busy feeling vicious over the fact you’ve been on a date to sympathize,” I said.
“That was back when we went shopping for curry ingredients on that field trip,” he explained.
“Then you lose, Orito.”
“What? You mean she didn’t like me? Wait, seriously?”
“Good thing Japan has strict weapons laws,” Tomonori said.
“In another era, I’d have to commit seppuku,” I added.
“Wait, really? Are you serious?”
Tomonori and I nodded gravely, in perfect sync, like doctors delivering a terminal diagnosis.
1. The Chunichi Dragons and Yomiuri Giants are Japanese professional baseball teams.
2. Break, sometimes translated as Stone, is a recurring Black Magic spell from the Final Fantasy series. It inflicts the Petrify status effect on one target.
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