Return of the Fallen Volume 11 Chapter 5
Kazuki’s mind was a raging storm. In his nightmare, all he could see was everyone dying around him and him failing to protect anyone. Like a Realm of hell, this nightmare played itself over and over and over again in his mind.
Again and again and again. As the nightmare repeated itself once more for who knows how many times, Kazuki finally snapped awake. His body was covered in a cold sweat and his heart was pounding as if it were on the verge of exploding. Looking at his surroundings he recalled where he was.
Circulating his ki, his nerves settled and his heart calmed.
“Your awake.”
Lin was sitting across from Kazuki. With a snap of his fingers, a cup of tea appeared in front of Kazuki.
“Drink this and let’s talk.”
Kazuki adjusted his posture before pushing the cup away. His ring flashed and a bottle of strong liquor appeared in his hand. With a flick of his finger, the top of the bottle broke and he tilted it back, downing it in one go. This of course could not ever get him drunk but he needed something, anything harder than tea.
Lin sighed before asking.
“Better. Now we should talk. I’ll admit, I rushed into things and said some things that should not have been said at that time but you needed to hear them. This isn’t just about you. It involves the children. If you go to the Higher Realm and Sephra realizes you are still alive, she might target the kids just to get to you. No, let me make it clear, she will absolutely target the children. Whether she uses them as hostages or just kills them to affect you, no matter what she will do it. You were angry earlier, and you’re still angry now but that doesn’t mean
“Is this what you wanted to say to me. You want me to stop and not find Sephra and choke the life out of her. You want me to live on and be happy and bury the past? Let me ask you something. With everyone gone, how the fuck can I bury anything? How about instead of cowardly hiding out for the rest of our days, you help me come up with a plan to take the bitch out. Oh, that’s right, you can’t. You can’t stand up now just like you couldn’t back then. Looking back on it all, what a fucking joke. Had you done something a long time ago, had you killed her when you first found out what Sephra did to your brother, what she did to me and Kai, we would still be suffering now. Why didn’t you kill her, why didn’t you destroy her long ago?”
Lin shook his head.
“How could I. I was weaker than her, I’ve always been weaker than her and there was a point in time when I lov
Kazuki snapped at Lin.
“NOOO! That’s your fucking excuse, you were weaker than her! Strength doesn’t matter! Power doesn’t matter! You’ve seen my memories, you’ve witnessed my battles. How many times was I outclassed, how many times did my opponent have a power I could not reach. Did I stop!? You don’t ever quit, you don’t ever give up! You scheme and you plot and figure a fucking way to do it. Poison, assassins, I don’t care what path you pick nor how dirty you get. You crawl and claw every inch, every step of the way until your enemies are dead. What did you do though? You complained to Orberus and nothing more. Where’s the fight! Where’s the fucking spirit, the unbendable will!”
Lin shook.
“Kazuki. I…I’m not like you. You cannot ask a man who’s always been weak to suddenly stand up against an enemy that’s always been above you. I couldn’t, I was too afraid to go against her, too afraid to upset my father. I…was wrong.”
Lin began to cry right there. Kazuki felt more disgust now than ever before seeing this. This was the man who raised him up. This was the man who loved him and cared for him but looking at him cry like this, Kazuki could only see an unreliable bitch. All this time he was striving for strength, striving for power, at first for revenge but then to protect those he loved but what about his uncle Lin. A man born at a level higher than anyone in a Lower Realm. A man that had everything at his disposal. Every book, every resource, and yet he needed Orberus’s help in order even become a God.
Kazuki wondered what his life would have been like had he been born in the same environment. His power would have risen farther and faster than any among his peers. This was what he thought at first but then he came to a realization. Why was he so different from his uncle. His uncle had everything but Kazuki had everything taken from him. He set out to become stronger because of it and had a will that burned with fury and rage as his fuel.
There was no stopping Kazuki. He needed to get to the next level just to survive but Lin wasn’t like that. Kazuki thought about if he was in the same situation if he was a being of incredible power but had no reason for fighting or growing. Kazuki then began to empathize with Lin.
(Uncle is weak because he was given everything while I am strong because I had to take everything. All his life he was seen as the weakling of the family. Because of this, he was conditioned into believing it and he filled that role.
Kazuki sighed inwardly.
(Why was I taking it out on him. He could do nothing, not in that family. Even with all the resources at his fingertips, if one believes they can’t do anything, those resources are useless.)
Kazuki understood his uncle a little more and he no longer was disgusted by his tears but he was still disappointed. He couldn’t help but feel this way. Kazuki said nothing else and walked out of the lounge and down the hall, leaving his uncle behind.
As he wandered the halls of this mansion, he saw many pictures here and there of Old Tilly, her son, and her late husband. He saw one when Tilly was younger. It was a family portrait. Old Tilly was holding her infant son and her husband stood slightly behind her with a stern expression on his face. Meanwhile, Old tilly, or rather young Tilly sat there with a bright smile. Kazuki had only seen the woman smile when she was drinking or when she was talking about magic tools and crafting things.
To see her smile while holding her child was actually refreshing but that thought only lasted for but a moment as he thought about the child he had just lost. He couldn’t help but wonder about the future and family that could have been and his heart ached. Kazuki quickly removed all of the pictures in the house with a thought before storing them away in his ring.
Kazuki continued to wander the halls and his mind went blank. Eventually, he came across a wide dining room.
“Please Mei Mei, you have to eat something. Just a bite or two, please.”
Mei, Kosaru and ALutra were sitting at a corenr of the table. Alutra had many dishes spread out across the table. All of them were Mei and Kosaru’s favorites. Kosaru was now awake and healed and he was slowly eating. Mei on the other hand was a different story. She sat there with a dead expression. Her eyes were completely glazed over and she looked pale and sickly.
She looked like a broken doll. Kazuki felt a hard lump in his throat when he saw her appearance. He understood her, he understood that look. That look of being lost, of no hope. He could sense her feelings through her soul and it broke him. She felt cold and cut off from everything and everyone. It was almost as if her soul had been submerged in a frozen lake. Kazuki could tell that Mei wasn’t even hearing Alutra and didn’t even perceive that she was there.
Alutra though kept trying. She couldn’t bear to see Mei this way and figured if she could at least get her to eat something, maybe it would help to take her mind off of the tragic event.
“Mei, please. look at little Kosaru, he’s eating so well, can you at least try for me?”
Mei just sat there, blank as a sheet of paper.
Kazuki wanted to walk in there and scoop Mei up and give her a hug but he just couldn’t. Seeing her like that, he just…couldn’t. Kazuki turned around and walked away. As he did this, there was a response from Mei as a single tear rolled down her face as she watched him leave.
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