3 bar menu

Special New Year Chapter

 

---

Translator: Nat

---

「What do you think about creating a calendar?」

Adolph suddenly asks as I’m enjoying a peaceful evening meal with my family.

「A calendar? What’s that?」

I’d appreciate it if you don’t place more of a burden on my brain after a hard day of stamping documents.

「You did poorly today. One in every three documents was missing a stamp.」

In other words, I can be proud of succeeding two out of three times in governmental affairs
That’s excellent for the king of the central plains, but there’s still room for improvement.

「So, what’s a calendar?」

I urge Adolph, who is making a strained face for some reason, to continue.

「A calendar is something that shows the days of the year. For example, when was Hardlett-sama born?」

I fold my fingers and count.

「That’ll be 27 years back.」

「It’s 25. You decided to be one year older than me.」

Nonna corrects me.

Adolph and Celia slump their shoulders, while Lucy heaves a great sigh in the corner of the dining table.

「Then how old was Hardlett-sama during the Arkland and Goldonia war?」

「Give me a second.」

I bend down my fingers and count.
That was the following year I made a round trip to the Federation, no I was one year older in the spring……

「You can’t recall it immediately, right? Commoners especially get confused when they start counting how many years back and what age were they at the time. Thus, I want to implement a common calendar. Using a certain point in time as standard, it can be used to count all events in the kingdom.」

「I see, that’s easy to understand. By the way, how old is Celia this year?」

「17.」

17, huh? Celia’s still just a cute child.

I don’t get why Carla and Mel are repeatedly poking Celia’s sides.

「But I remember, wasn’t there a kingdom calendar in Goldonia?」

Nonna tilts her head curiously.

Adolph nods deliberately slow.

「Yes, there was. And what year do you think it was for?」

Nonna ponders the question for several seconds, grumbles after not coming up with an answer, then lifts up her breasts and buries her face in them.

「You’ve been doing that a lot lately. The kingdom calendar was of year 212, right?」

Everyone is stunned and applauses Carla.
Nonna puffs her cheeks in frustration.

「That is correct. However this level of understanding can’t be used as the standard. There are too many people who don’t understand.」

「True.」

Common means that most people must understand.
It’s not good enough to guess it right.

「I tried to universalize it during your days as a Margrave, but this kind of system is meaningless unless it is implemented throughout the kingdom. Now that Hardlett-sama is king, it’s a good opportunity, although I don’t know about the Goldonia kingdom calendar……」

Adolph speaks ambiguously.

「So he says, traitor.」

Sekrit pats my shoulder joyfully.

Don’t talk in a way that directly targets my heart.
I make sure to properly pour alcohol on the graves of Erich, Agor and the king.

Erich and Agor’s tombs are uneventful, but every time I go to the king’s tomb, I get my feet caught in ivy and weeds and birds drop poop on me. I can’t give the throne back now, even if he appears as a spirit.

「Well, is it strange for me, as the usurper, to popularize the kingdom calendar at this point?」

「Yes. That’s why I am planning to announce a new calendar on a large scale, but it has a strong symbolic meaning in addition to its practical use. I can’t simply decide on my own. So what should be done, what standard should it be based on?」

Everyone stops eating and contemplates.

「Uuh……mm……kkkh.」

As payback for the snide comment, I stick a finger in Sekrit’s underwear, causing her to writhe.

The first to stand up was Celia.

「How about creating the ‘Aegir calendar’ based on Aegir-sama’s year of birth? At the same time, we can create a giant statue of him in the main road of the capital, that way it’ll be easy for the citizens to understand.」

「Having a statue of myself is not really my thing……」

Making lots of kids is enough of a legacy for me.

「In the first place, the exact day of birth is unknown.」

「The furthes back I can remember is being a slave, after alll.」

After replying to Lucy, everyone, aside from the downward-facing Sekrit, awkwardly looks away.
That topic doesn’t bother me though.

「Sorry Celia, my birthday is not an option.」

「Aegir’s first year. I think it’s wonderful.」

Are you going to keep the name as it is?
I’m not really the type that likes people’s attention, plus it sounds embarrassing.

「It’s not productive if I only reject ideas. I’ll come up with one next.」

If the calendar has a symbolic meaning, then it’d be better to use an older date to also add dignity to it.

「When was Lucy’s year of birth?」

「Year 583.」

I nod.

「Then how about ‘Lucy year 583’?」

「「「No.」」」

The table is slammed simultaneously in three separate locations.
At the same time, Sekrit grits her teeth and arches her back.

Everyone else nodded, and Lucy herself refused, saying that she didn’t like others knowing her age.

「Then, I’ll offer a suggestion next, as the legal wife.」

Nonna clears her throat and then stands up.

「It will be called the ‘Nonna calendar’ based on the date Aegir and I met or the date we got married.」

She’s bold to recommend something named after herself.
Should I learn from her level of confidence?

「There’s a limit to how shameless you can be. That arrogance is something else. If you’re going to name it anything, it should be ‘Boob calendar’.」

Carla and Nonna grapple with each other.

「The first year of boob……sounds like a good omen.」

「There’s no way it can be good! This is going to passed down to future generations. It’s like spreading around idiocy.」

Celia strongly opposes and then promptly takes a seat.
Sekrit also loses strength in her legs and collapses.

「We can’t have a calendar that causes domestic troubles, huh?」

This is surprisingly hard.
As a last resort, maybe we should use Celia’s age as the standard and make the ‘cute calendar year 17’.

That’s when the carefully watching Adolph raises his hand.

「How about we base it on the date the central plains was unified and make the ‘unification calendar’? If we use a standard related to Hardlett-sama, it would carry the impression of an usurper. If we use unification as a standard, it should have a stronger impression decades later.」

「And while we’re at it, self-proclaiming we are united might put pressure on the savage tribes and city states.」

Tristan chimes in as he moves meat from a large dish to his own plate.

「Self-proclaiming would apply pressure?」

Maria takes advantage of the opportunity when Tristan gazes at me to answer to dump a pile of onions and carrots onto his plate.

「Of course it’s only a self-proclamation at the moment. However, when years pass and decades pass, and the unification calendar circulates throughout the plains, it’ll become common knowledge to the city states that Goldonia has unified the plains. We won’t be alive during that time to know for sure though.」

Tristan slumps his shoulders after discovering the mountain of vegetables on his plate.

Is that how it works?
I don’t plan on living until a hundred, but I can’t even think a few decades ahead.

「Anyway, it is decided. Tomorrow, I will proclaim this year as the first year of the Unification calendar.」

「Don’t we need time for preparation?」

I shake my head.

「Doing this kind of thing without warning leaves the biggest impression. I will make the announcement first thing tomorrow morning to the citizens and the nobles. Send word to everyone in the land notifying them of this too.」

「In other words, we need a document for as many feudal lords there are……it’s going to be another all-nighter, I see.」

Celia offers to help as well, but no matter how young and fresh she is at 17, staying up all night will ruin her skin.

「Tristan. When you’re done eating your onions, help Adolph.」

「There! I knew this was going to happen!」

Tristan sets his plate down on the table in dissatisfaction.
Maria adds green peas to his plate.
Hey, you better not waste food. Eat it all and then go.

「Still, it doesn’t sound very impactful just to inform the people of the calendar.」

An idea pops into my head and I hit my fist on my hand.

「Ah, not that.」

I stand up, holding a hand out to stop Celia from interrupting me.

「Let’s hold a celebration for the families who gave birth to a child this year. Since this is the first year of the special calendar, we’ll give 1 gold……no, that’s too cheap. We’ll give 10 gold coins. Status doesn’t matter!」

Maria and Melissa cheer.
Adolph and Polte groan.
Sekrit moans as her hips tremble.

「It’s decided.」

Woops, I forgot my left hand was still inside Sekrit’s privates.
A naughty slurp sound is made when I pull my finger out and return to eating my meal.

「……hey, why are you going back to dinner like normal? Are you seriously going to leave me hanging after stirring up my insides?」

「It’s my turn after the meal. I won’t tolerate any intrusions.」

When Celia interjects, Sekrit grits her teeth, rips my cloak off and walks away.

「Sorry. I’ll come later at night, until then make do by yourself.」

Giving her ass a light squeeze, Sekrit holds her lower body, barely keeping her balance, and delivers a kick to my leg before leaving in a huff.

「Wait, why did she take my cloak?」

Oh, whatever.

Later, the exceptional celebration money was talked about greatly, causing the new calendar to quickly become known among the commoners, and throughout Goldonia as common knowledge.

The best part was that because the announcement was made in spring, families in the city began making babies immediately, hoping to make it in time for the reward.

When I went out into the city at night, there would be couples having sex in their homes, and many women who made love with men other than their husbands, such as their fathers-in-law or brothers-in-law, from the sheer desperation of not being able to conceive.

I hid my face and attempted to visit them during the husbands’ absence, and was accepted at an incomparably higher rate than usual. A few wives even wanted me to impregnate their sisters.

The expense made Adolph faint and go completely bald, but the number of children ballooned and every city overflowed with babies.

On another note, the cloak that Sekrit took was found the next day in a messy state.
For some reason, the whole thing was wrinkled and wet and several teeth marks were on it.

---

 

---