Vol.4, Ch.5, P.6
The second storey. A room, deep, deep in the second storey. That’s where they have taken me. I thought… I thought they meant to run away from the fire, to escape outside. But, instead… this room… The flames are here. The flames are eating this room.
This is not escape. The Men—they have business here, I think.
Books… many books are here. Shelves and tables. Scrolls and things for writing.
The Men, the knights, they’re speaking quick to each other. Something about… about “taking”. Taking manu… scripts. Taking records. Taking them out before…
“Hannes! Just the papers, is it?”
“You heard me. Reams, scrolls, notes; as much as can be carried. Sir Erik’s orders! All the warcraft here, all the knowledge—see that not one leaf is left to the flames!”
“Knowledge? What, the quill-scratches of that ungraced?”
“As the Sir himself has said: precisely. Go on, now! Salvage first the salient items! The rest of you: remain and continue scrounging such as may seem of use!”
“Aye! Best hurry, men! The fire grows swift!”
They’re moving frantic now. Rummaging and tossing. Scrambling here, there. Shelves are emptying. Papers are flying. A Man has run out of the room. Many books were in his hands. Another Man passes him, coming into the room in a hurry. He’s breathing hard. His face looks pale.
“Hannes! Enemy reinforcements! And those damnable defenders… half-culled they be, and yet they rally as we speak!”
“Then time for hostage-taking. Set swords to civilian necks! That’ll leash the dogs, you’ll see. Lo! I’ve kept one just for the occasion: a child, but all the better; ‘tis venom to the flies, you ought know, to have their maggots smashed afore their eyes!”
The Man named “Hannes”—coming quick, he snatches my wrist and drags me up from the floor. I… I am their “hostage”, then. A “maggot”… to be…
But… no… What about Eva? What about my sister?
The smoke, it’s terrible to breathe. The Man’s grip, it hurts so much to bear. But my sister… All I can think about is my sister. Has she escaped? Is she all right? She must be worried now, too… about me… about…
…About that day. The day our village fell.
Eva had gone to the orphanage then, and… and because of it, she couldn’t be with us even at the last.
I know she regrets it very, very much. I know she is trying very, very hard—to keep me safe, to keep alive what’s left of our family. I know, but… but even then, it’s happening again. Things are tearing apart yet again.
All because I…
Even though I…
Even though… I don’t want to worry her. Even though I can’t stand to make her sad.
But I had to. Everyone was in danger. Everyone. The Men, they were after us—just like on that day. They had to be taken away, far, far away from everyone. That was all I could think about, all I could imagine to do. And when I did, my hands, my feet—they all started moving on their own.
She must be sad again. My sister, crying and crying… all because of it. All because of me. But she is safe now, at least. Safe and fled from this place. I hope she is. I hope…
My precious family. My precious sister.
Please be safe.
“One more matter, Hannes. Our eyes, they’ve spotted him—Rolf, riding with the reinforcements.”
“Hmph. Where there be flies, there be filth—all the better, indeed.”
…“Rolf”.
The Men said “Rolf”. I’ve heard that name before. Rolf, the new war-chief. The nannas at Hensen once spoke of him, that he’s the one who made the memorial for my village, that very kind he is and very strong.
Has he come to help us, then? To save us?
Then… then, there is hope? Hope for—
“Now, see here, maggot.”
The Man, Hannes—he’s speaking straight to me now, pulling up my hand, looking down at me. His eyes are cold.
“The flames—’twas you, wasn’t it?”
“…”
I… I can’t answer. His voice is cold, too. He hurts just to look at, just to hear. But it’s not an answer by words he seeks, I think. He’s staring wide at me, searching my face. And from it, I think he’s found his answer.
“Hmph… Tell me: why?”
“…”
“…Speak, maggot.”
“…es… escape… I-I thought… w… we might escape… i-if… the realmers were confused…”
“Oh? And was that… all you thought?”
“…”
“…”
He stares at me like a snake. And then, I hear it again. I see it. A sword—the Man is bringing a sword this way. To my neck. The blade, it’s…
The scary memories. The fear. All of it is coming back. I… I…
“ah… aah…”
“Out with it—now.”
“…b… braves… our braves, they’re f…. f-fighting… far away… said the folk here… s-so I… I thought… if Men are att.. a-atta… a-a-attacking… the fort… then… then, our braves… they’re…”
“Ah, so… you have guessed our scheme. Quite the keen wit you have there, my dear little dunling.”
“…”
I’m terrified.
My lips, my legs, they all tremble.
“The pieces… all falling into place, as they say…”
The sword, the cold hand on my wrist—they’re gone. The Man, he’s turned away now… and standing still. He is quiet. I can’t see his face. Is he thinking? Or—
“Fie!”
I flinch. A loud sound has hit my ears. The Man, he has kicked a near wall just now. The wood there is broken deep.
“Fie, fie! Our toils, our troubles—all for naught! By a mere maggot! Oh, I curse the thought! That this writhing, wriggling mind has perceived his plans! Ere even Juholt could!”
“O-oi, Hannes! Shush ’bout that! If other ears get wind of—”
“Whose!? Whose ears, hm!? This maggot’s!?”
The screaming and yelling continue. Despite the other Men. Despite their panick. This Hannes… he believes strong in someone, I think. Someone who had plans. Plans that I…
Plans… that only some should know. Plans now revealed free to me by this Hannes. But if so, then that means that he… that I… I am…
I feel it again. The old fear. It’s growing, swelling.
Hannes, the Man, he is turned to me now. He’s coming here swift. He catches my hair and pulls me up to his face. Angry. He’s very angry. His eyes are red and looking deep into mine.
“Listen here, maggot. ’Tis your misfortune that this keep boasts too big a berth for your pretty little flames. Oh, for certain—‘twill not all burn down, no, no! The frames, the foundation, ‘twill all survive, I assure you—enough to serve as it always has. The bulwarks withal; they stand yet, you see. And so long as they do, so ought our plans.”
“…b… but…”
“But what?”
“…‘reinforcements’…”
I have said it. The one word that this Man hates now most of all. But, I couldn’t help it. I didn’t want to die. I don’t want to. I want to live. I want to believe. That if I say it, maybe something, somewhere can save us. That War-Chief Rolf can win and bring us all home.
No… instead, maybe… maybe… he can come. Maybe he can help us. From somewhere, somehow…
I know he can’t. I know it’s just my dreaming. But till the last, I want to hold onto it.
Onto this small, small hope.
“…Reinforcements, indeed!”
My hair, he’s clenching it stronger. He jerks me another way and throws me to the floor. I yelp and land hard on my bottom.
“augh…”
“The sin upon my head, to have let you live as long as you do. O Yoná, pray have mercy upon Thy fool son! Yes… mayhaps Thou might forgive him, when he lets this heathen-hostage live… with eyes gouged out, with ears gashed open, with…!”
His sword, it’s near again. Pointing at me. I… I shrink back.
“ah… aaah…”
Scared.
I’m scared.
My heart is beating loud. The fires, they’re so near now, so hot. But my veins, they feel all frozen.
“Come. Whimper—wail, why don’t you? Beg me for mercy. Beg!”
I shrink away further, crawling all the way to the wall. But, but… I’m cornered now. I look back. The sword is pointing at me once more. The tip, it’s almost touching my eye.
I… I… I’m crying. I’m crying again. Just like on that day. Just like when… when Brother…
“a… au…”
I don’t know why. Why I am not whimpering for this Man. Why I am not begging him for my life. I don’t… I can’t… All of my body is frightened. My voice is too scared to scream. My eyes are too scared to close.
“…’Tis silence you choose, is it?”
I see the sword tip lower. Down my face. Down my neck. Down to where my heart is beating.
The other Men. They’re all stopped now. They stare at me. Smiling, frowning. But this Man, this Hannes—he only glares at me, angry, angry. Even though the flames are grown large all around us now. Even though they roar and their heat is glowing. Glowing and wavering red on Hannes’ face. Shining and blinking red on the sword’s edge.
The fires pop and crack. Sparks dance all about. Hot. Hot. But I feel a chill. On the left of my breast—the sword, the red sword, its tip… its tip is…
This Man, he means to do it. Even I can tell. Killing me is now better for him. Better than having me his hostage. All because of his pride. In himself. In things precious to him. All because a “maggot” has bitten them and spoilt them. This he can’t forgive. He can’t allow. Not any longer.
Still, I say nothing. I beg for nothing. Because if I do, maybe I am dead for true. Because maybe he might really do it. Because… because…
…Because I can’t see why I should.
Why I should want his mercy.
“Then silence you shall have.”
The sword is pressing in now. Slow. Cold.
…Sister? Are you all right? Have you fled? What about everyone else?
Are you all safe? I hope that you are. I wish that you are.
I wish…
..
.
.
..
…I wish… I could’ve seen him…
…for one last time…
My heart.
It is struck.
…No.
The whole room is struck.
Struck and shaken.
A loud boom hits into my ears. Down to my heart.
Paces to the side, there—wood is raining, pouring down. Ash and dust and splinters and smoke. The ceiling collapsed, I think. Maybe by fire? By explosion?
…But, what fire? It’s hard to see. There’s so much smoke. So much… soot? All the soot in the room—it is floating, gathering towards the collapse. There: it spins. Swirls. Dances.
The fires in this room. Their redness. Their glow. All of it is being smothered and swallowed up. Light is fading. Night is coming. The black soot is storming. Black, black—blacker than black. It over-steeps everyone, everything, even darkness, even shadow.
But… I feel something in it.
Something…
…something very strong.
Something very kind.
The soot, it whirls and pushes. A master it seems, making all things quiet and still. Me, the Men, the sparks and embers in the room. Everyone. Everything.
There—the soot, it sweeps, like a great raven’s wing. And then… it thins and fades. Maybe to welcome something. Something there that is standing. Something… someone.
I see it.
A figure. Tall. Broad.
My heart jumps. Thudding, drumming. It is so loud, I forget the sword pricking my chest. My head is full of thoughts. But I don’t know which to think. I keep hearing a question. A strange question.
What is it? The vastest black to see?
…Yes: the blackness between the stars.
The clear night that holds Stöhr, Aurél, and…
Gone. The soot now is gone. Everything is aflame again. Everything is ruled by redness once more. But in it stands a night-blackness. Dim. Defiant.
Its shoulders are high like the clouds. Its back is tall like a mountain.
Shoulders I’ve seen many, many times before.
A back I’ve chased after in my dreams.
A figure I can never mistake.
“a… ah…!”
There he is.
He’s come…!
Strong! And kind!
My…! My…!
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Thanks for the chapter.
Rolf coming to the rescue of Mia again, and in even more dramatic fashion! A very appropriate moment.