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Chapter 67: If it’s Too Big, Just Shrink Yourself

 

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Translator: “Kell” Editor: ”Weasalopes”

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「I wonder if the deeper I go in this hidden dungeon, the more rare items there are.」

I was talking to myself, grinning. That had been the case so far. It was possible that S rank items will be more common in the deeper parts of the dungeon.

Uck-san already went ahead of me. I went after her, but as soon as I stepped out of the room and onto the path, I encountered a problem. What, you ask? All the doors were closed. You could’ve at least left the door open.

「Uck-san? Where are you?」

There were only two rooms left unexplored, left or right. I listened carefully for an answer. Did she fall for a trap again?

Worried, I opened the door to the left.

「No one’s here.」

Uck-san wasn’t in the room. Heck, there wasn’t even anything inside. No items on the floor, nothing. Only four walls— No, I take that back.

There was something on the wall at the back; a hole too small for a full-sized adult to enter. I was extremely curious, but I closed the door to the room and tried for the other one. And there, an unbelievable scene unfolded before my eyes.

「Fancy meeting you here. Hahaha!」

I was at a loss for words. The hunk, Ack-san, was standing there with a knife at Uck-san’s throat. He was holding her hostage.

「You make it sound like it’s a coincidence, but you came here on purpose.」

「You got me. That’s right, I followed you.」

「Okay, but is there any reason you’re holding your friend hostage with a knife on her throat?」

「It’s all your fault. You didn’t choose me so I was so fuckin’ bored, okay?!」

「Go! Leave me! The guy’s crazy!」

Right, Hack-san did say something about how Ack loves excitement and he’d even betray his friends for the sake of a thrill. Maybe this is how it was set up by the dungeon: if you didn’t go with Ack, he’ll eventually do something like this. But that’s neither here nor there. Now what do I do?

「Why are you doing this?」

「No reason, really.」

「What?」

「I said I don’t have any particular reason. But isn’t this interesting? You’d get mad, and I might even be able to cut Uck. Hell, this might even develop into something rousing later on. That’s why I’m doing this.」

Sorry. I have no idea what you’re saying. There’s nothing scarier than a man who’s unpredictable and acts on impulse.

「Drop all your weapons for now. No funny business or I’ll cut her throat.」

「You don’t have to listen to him! Just take him down— Ouch!」

「Zip it.」

Ack cut Uck-san’s hand, grinning all the while. Red liquid dripped down to the floor.

「Okay. I’ll do what you want. Just don’t hurt her.」

I removed my sword from my waist. He told me to kick it to him, so I did.

「There. I did what you asked. Now let her go.」

「Not so fast. I know you’re a liar.」

「What do you mean by that?」

「I told you to drop all your weapons. You have【Different Dimension Storage C】, right? You have more in there, don’t you?」

「Uh–?!」

Does he have【Appraisal】? I smiled wryly, and he cut Uck’s hand once again.

「Okay, okay! Just don’t hurt her.」

Maybe I don’t need to save her. I could probably just ignore her and take him down. But I’ve begun to empathize with her. She had a much better personality than Hack or Ack. In addition to my sword, I placed my Hatchet of Divine Retribution, Piercing Spear, and Paralyzing Ball on the floor.

「Oh, those are some neat stuff. Don’t even think about attacking me with some emitter-type skill. If you do, I’ll cut her throat.」

He’s too careful. I’ve been trying to look for an opening, but I couldn’t find any. Still, it’s not like I didn’t have any plan. There was a reason I took the Paralyzing Ball out.

「Are those weapons unique?」

「Most of them are rare.」

「Explain how they work. If you lie to me…」

Yeah, yeah. I get it. Looks like he doesn’t have【Item Appraisal】at least.

「This hatchet is effective against wolves, while this spear has the skill Pierce.」

「What about the ball?」

「It’s called a Paralyzing Ball. It can paralyze a target.」

「That sounds fun. But then you can’t touch it, can you?」

「You can. It can’t paralyze unless you throw it at someone with enough force to inflict damage first. Do you want me to touch it for you to see?」

「Sounds good. Don’t throw it at me, though.」

「Of course.」

I took the ball on my hand. All right, here’s my chance! I’ll just throw it— Yeah, I’m not doing that. Even with my rank C【Throwing】skill, it would be difficult to hit a cautious target. Plus he was hiding behind his hostage. So I simply held the ball.

「So you were telling the truth. Now pass it to me in an underhand throw. Be gentle.」

「Okay.」

I did what he said. He successfully caught the ball with his free hand.

「What a neat little weapon. So if I threw this at you, you’ll be paralyzed. Hmm, what to do…」

It didn’t look like he wanted to throw it though. He simply examined the ball. His curiosity must’ve taken over.

【Burst】1000 LP

I wanted to create the skill. Not for me, of course. It might kill me, after all. That’s right. I only had one target in mind. I didn’t really want to destroy the item. I haven’t even tried using one before. But I had no other choice if I wanted to get through this.

I needed 1000 LP to grant it. It was quite a lot but I didn’t think twice and imbued it to the Paralyzing Ball.

Bam!

「Wha?!」

The ball burst all of a sudden on his hand. He was frozen in place, shocked. Without making a sound, I fired【Stone Bullet】at him. It’s not like I’m jealous of his good looks or anything, okay?

Ack rolled over backwards and collapsed. I immediately closed the distance to fire a second round but he was out cold so I stopped. I tied him up with the rope I had in my storage.

「I owe you another one.」

「How’s your injury?」

「It’s just a scratch.」

「That’s a relief. Let’s go to the next room for now.」

We entered the fourth room, the one with the small hole on the wall. The hole was round and about twenty centimeters high. Too tiny for even a head to get through. I lay down on the floor to take a peek, and saw a small room with stairs going down.

「So this room’s connected to the 9th floor.」

「I’m not really interested. But you’re going down, aren’t you?」

「I’d like to but I can’t get through.」

「Then l’ll destroy it. I have to pay you back, after all.」

Uck-san had a keen sense of responsibility. She began focusing all her attention on destroying the wall. I did the same using my Piercing Spear. I thought it would work but the wall was too tough. Using sword or magic didn’t do a thing either. I thought about imbuing it with a skill to destroy it but the required LP reached a mind-blowing six digits.

「Destroying it seems impossible.」

「Even kids can’t get through in there. Maybe it’s for midgets 20cm tall or something.」

「Midget, huh? Hmm… Ah!」

I recalled a scene from the past. That time when Emma’s huge cups turned into a washboard; courtesy of none other than me. I used【Tiny Breasts】on her back then. So I just had to use “Short Stature”, or anything that would describe a short person, on myself. No, wait. I don’t think 20cm still qualifies as short stature. Then how about this?

【Height minus 150cm】150 LP

Wow, that’s cheap! But using it on someone might require a lot of LP. I checked how much LP was needed to use it on Uck-san and the result was five digits.

Wait, I can use it to increase height too, right?

【Height plus 10cm】10,000 LP

Hmm… that’s a lot. It might be a while till I become a tall and handsome man. I gotta work on my face too. Emma and Laura-san say I’m good-looking but I’m sure they’re just being nice. But I digress. Right now, I needed 150 LP and ?? LP to destroy it after I get through. I had to use it once or I couldn’t edit it. I’m scared of the latter. Who knows how much I needed to destroy it?

「You seem to be pondering something. Is there anything I can help with? I’ll do anything.」

「I, uhh… But…」

「Just tell me! I told you I’ll pay you back!」

「All right. To put it bluntly…」

Current LP

2,380 → 4,600

So you might be wondering what happened. If one asked, I’d just say that we performed a ritual to gain more LP.

When I asked her to make out with me, she simply obliged. We held hands at first, then hugged. We even kissed. And some other stuff… Just thinking about it made me feel hot, like I was boiling.

「Thanks for all your help. I, Noir Stalgia, am heading to the 9th floor.」

「Bye! Take care!」

We said our goodbyes and I shrunk myself. I was surprised to see the view change. And by view, I mean Uck-san’s legs which were in front of me.

I easily made it through the tiny hole without even lowering my head.

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