Chapter 326
Chapter 326: If the carriage isn’t shaking, then why not shake it yourself? Currently experiencing severe shaking!
Day 77 – Afternoon, Outskirts of the Capital
Travel by carriage. Well, it’s not the first time, but this ride feels like the first carriage ride. The carriage with the Geeks and Idiots went out of sight after running wildly for a while, but how far did they go? Well, who cares?
Here, we have to slowly start the carriages in order to get the orphans used to them. After all, it’s the first carriage ride in their lives, and their first trip. Not to mention that they are just Lv 1 children. There are worries about their physical strength, and also simple motion sickness concerns too. Well, even if they do feel unwell it can be fixed with mushrooms, but this being their first trip, they must want to observe the scenery until they get tired of it.
And I too am observing the scenery for the first time. Which reminds me… We always traveled at ultra-high speed, so this is my first time actually seeing it too!
The Frontier is surrounded by forests and steep mountains, giving it a vague feeling of isolation, while the land outside is a vast plain. There are some hills, but in general, it’s pretty flat, allowing for a great unobstructed view of what feels like endlessly stretching plains. Yes, endlessly stretching nature, which must mean endlessly stretching possibilities for outdoor play, the entire world of pleasure, but… Not doing any of that? Yeah, I mean, I’m getting stares?
「Such vast empty plots of lands, which means, as long the population increases, it can be freely developed?」
There aren’t enough people. Which means that if there are issues with food supply, there might be a point to rewriting the Frontier’s version of the agricultural report, adapting it for the Kingdom. I mean, there is so much land, allowing children to starve while having all this is way too much of a waste… First comes potatoes.
Norfolk four-course farming is the Geeks specialty, and they even have countermeasures for the fertilizer issue, that was its weak point, so someday this entire area might become a wheat field. But while it’s okay to let them teach, there is no telling what will sprout if they are allowed to farm themselves. Yes, it’s definitely going to be something entirely unrelated to wheat, so clearing it with fire seems like another sort of trouble?!
While flying, I always have a good view of surroundings, but when falling, all I see is a gray wall. And since I’m simply overlooking things from the sky, I’ve never seen the scenery in proper detail. Yeah, the only thing I have in my memory is a rapidly approaching ground? And when I’m traveling with Armored Pres-san at top-speed it’s nothing but a wall of blue, green, and yellow. That’s why it’s fine to go slowly in the beginning.
On our way to the Capital, I was doing some soil preparation to kill time, in other words, a straight road to the Frontier was completed.
「Yeah, this is the chance to show the limits of 『Highway Star Train Aero』. If we can go at the speed far higher than when we were going to the Capital, we should be able to reach the Frontier in less a day!」(Hehee~en♪)
The horses are also steadily running over monsters, raising their levels, and growing into splendid post-apocalyptic steeds. The cute horsies from before are nowhere to be found anymore, it’s actually a bit sad?
The speed is gradually rising, but the orphans seem to be unexpectedly fine, so once they get bored of the view we can accelerate more. The scenery won’t matter once night falls anyway, so let’s just make it all the way over there in one go while they are asleep. I mean, Slime-san is going wild here… Is it that happy about meeting Poster Girl? Or is it looking forward to their dance battle? Oh, in that case even Dancing Girl might join in!
「It’s nice that we got such a good weather.」「Is there anyone who feels sick?」「Tell me right away if you feel sick, okay~?」「「「「Yes, we are good.」」」」
Vice Pres B-san is shaking, shaken by the carriage, and what an outrageous shaking that is, rocking up and down with the movement of the carriage, acting as a shock absorber to the… Oh no!
「Don’t get me wrong? I was merely observing the stability of suspension and shock absorption mechanisms, and I have to say they are working marvelously, even though the horses aren’t running wild, double wishbone suspension is going wild on its own, and that double shaking is the WISH, but could you please stop aiming your bows at me? Also, Armored Pres-san and Dancing Girl-san, just when did you evacuate to that carriage? I kind of should evacuate as well, but I also kind of can’t do that since I’m supposed to welcome and entertain Sexy Female Knights here, so no ballistas, okay? As you’d expect, I don’t think the armor here is not that strong? Or rather, why the hell is Geek’s ballista a part of standard equipment of Orphan Carriages?!」
(Currently escaping pursuit)
While I’m being scolded, we continue heading east. It’s apparently that way. We don’t even have a compass, so instead east or whatever, calling it the direction of the Frontier, makes more sense. I mean, it’s just a straight unforked path?
「But just how far『Roaring Accident-Searching Geeks and Idiots Exclusive Very Fast but super rocky rocking Model Despite Ultra Reinforced Suspension』went in its rampage? I still can’t see it? Well, it seems that the horse isn’t obeying anyone at all, so control is actually impossible, but it was super fast and super cheap. Well, they went eastward, so sooner or later they are going to hit the Frontier. Sooner, or later……Kind of?」「「「「You talk like it’s about someone else, but you are the culprit, right?!」」」」
Things are going well. 『Luxurious and Gorgeous Carriage for Passionately Welcoming and Entertaining Lovely-type Sexy Female Knights DELUXE Rolling SP』also had been fully tuned (overengineered) through『Wisdom』-boosted crafting ability, so this is far from its top speed. The issue is that since the comfort of the ride is too high, and it doesn’t have enough rocking, I can’t enjoy the pleasant softness of the lovely cushions (gorgeous walls of female flesh) on both sides while going 『Aaah (monotone)』! Alright, let’s loosen the suspension during the next stop!
We are traveling with just the usual members, so there is no issue with having some fun time, but how should I put it, without some sort of a happy accident-like development that can add even more rocking to the already rocking carriage it, marking the beginning of a heavenly highschool boy-like soul journey it’s kind of lonely?
Moreover, instead of combat equipment, both of them are wearing new lovely sexy secretary-like tight mini suits in cool black and gray colors, which makes me want to rip off their black stockings and say hello to the delicious bare skin, ah, they are so nice and smooth. Alright, let’s make a detour before going back!
【The carriage is shaking extremely hard!】
Alright, with my mind clear and refreshed, let’s stop for dinner. Yeah, I’m sure the scenery is very nice and refreshing too? Well, it’s already dark though?
And I begin dinner preparations with highschool boy vigor. The two will surely recover by the time it’s ready. But while the sexy secretaries’ secret places were not-so-secretly-amazing and I couldn’t get enough of those ecstatic faces, covering the entire interior of a narrow carriage in tentacles to stimulate them in the ETERNAL tentacle RAIN seems to have been a bit much. It goes without saying that the staff (highschool boy) later gladly ate everyone up. Yeah, they were even more broken today than usual?
The ETERNAL tentacle RAIN looks like nothing but a bunch of tentacles, so it’s not very fun. But covering the two with『Infinite Magic Hands』entire, allows to experience normally impossible sensation of touching, rubbing, petting, and fondling every inch of their bodies at once in double due to sensation sync with the magic limbs, a sensation so colossal it might breach the walls of my sanity in a single kick, which seems to come with not small casualties, but since they broke with such happy looks, it’s fine, I guess. Okay, let’s get the meal ready before lecturing begins!
「Hm? Why is everyone so red? Motion sickness? Or could it be that this carriage ride has driven you to awakening to Interspecies (Abnormal) Love, getting you blushing for the horsies? Sort of?」
「NO! It’s that! It’s… We are just a bit tired!」
(((To think there was 360 degrees all-surround infinite tentacles paradise in that carriage! (*Gulp!*))))
Although everyone is still red with a blush, they still are going to eat dinner. The orphans also started running around energetically as soon as they got outside.
They lived inside the walls of the Capital all this time. In that crumbling building inside the slums. So it must be their first contact with nature, as well as their first trip and their first picnic. Everything is first for them, so they are excited and overjoyed. It wasn’t right for them to sit in that pile of rubble, cold and hungry. Being overly energetic and running around without a point is the proper job for children. That’s what’s normal after all.
「Mystery meat meatballs, omelet from eggs of unknown species, something-that-looks-like-asparagus but no one knows that it’s actually, rolls with grilled meat of some sort, cream croquettes with unknown mushrooms, rice balls, sandwiches, teriyaki of something that was flying through the sky, and then also some deep fried stuff will be added later, just wait for a bit. And here come fried potatoes, or rather, stuff your faces?」「「「「Thanks for the treat!」」」」「「「Aaah, we are so beat and hungry!」」」
And then there are the Geeks and Idiots who appear only for the meal. Wait a moment, that horse wasn’t listening to anyone… That’s why it didn’t even have a bridle and reins. In other words, it was completely impossible to control, so why is it back? Yeah, and for some reason, it’s standing in line with its own food bucket.
I tried packing everything into baskets picnic style, but since it’s already late the atmosphere is lacking. But they are easting happily anyway. This is probably the first meal outside in their lives. So we will stick to picnic menu even if it’s already dark. They have to make lots of memories, to make up for everything until now, otherwise, they won’t be able to become splendid kids. And by now it’s kind of pointless to even try to stop the splendid small tanuki. Naturally, it goes without saying that the only splendid thing about her is the belly. The part above is far from splendid, with completely flat plains of sorrow looking like they might even cave-in from their overwhelming sadness… GYUAWAHAAAARAAh!
「No, you can eat whatever you like, so don’t bite me on the head? If you bite too much you’ll have to be reclassified into Bitchy Small Tanuki… (*Gnaw Gnaw!*) GAGYGYAAAAH!」
She actually bit me! Looks like I have to hurry with making that hairband into wearable equipment. Yeah, that’s why I picked it, you know?
「「「We haven’t bitten anyone ever! And we told you we aren’t bitches!!!」」」「Should we just bite him for real?!」
Even bites from Small Tanuki hurt. If Bitches start biting me too then I’ll end up all covered in tooth-marks, so I run away. Psychology often explains leaving kiss or teeth marks on a person of the opposite sex as an expression of the desire to monopolize them, but they actually bite with a crunch! Totally unrelated to psychology or whatever, a pure and simple expression of desire for human flesh (cannibalism) and nothing else!
Naturally, as a highschool boy, I’d be courteously waiting on a place mat if a lovely sexy lady told me『I’m going to eat you❤』, but I don’t want to be chewed by the Bitches! I mean, there is none of that lovely double meaning to it, they’ll do it literally!
And with meal break being over we start sprinting. The scenery can’t be seen anymore, and having eaten to their heart content the orphans are now sleeping.Now is the time to show the real worth of 『Highway Star Train Aero』. At this rate, we’ll be in the Frontier by the morning… Yup, this is way too fast?
「Metal rings on the wheels are scattering so many sparks that now there are two blazing lines behind us! Yeah, got to find some sort of rubber materials ASAP, otherwise, the picture looks like we are about to go back to the future any moment… Speaking of back, that sounds nice too!」
Alright, it’s nighttime. Time to do my best! Even though I’m being hit with Scorpion Deathlock from Flip Piledriver [1] inside the carriage, there is a reason I can’t afford to lose. It’s a holy war that a highschool boy is absolutely not allowed to lose. It’s bunny girls after all~ all~ all~ (Echoing until the next morning!)
And as the tests have shown, 『Sensitivity Increase』from 『Gloves of Poison Touch』is a weapon of supreme effectiveness, able to make the bunnies tremble, moan, writhe, and crumble down by merely drawing a circle on their backs, so they ended up getting eaten while making circles around their lower areas. And they lived happily ever after? Kind of sort of?
Notes
[TL Notes:
[1] A piledriver is a professional wrestling driver move in which the wrestler grabs their opponent, turns them upside-down, and drops into a sitting or kneeling position, driving the opponent head-first into the mat.
[2] Also known as sharpshooter, or sasori-gatame (scorpion hold). The hold begins with the opponent supine on the mat. The applying wrestler (A) steps between the opponent’s (O) legs with their own left leg and wraps O’s legs at shin level around that leg. If A decides to cross O’s legs around A’s own right leg, A has to cross O’s right leg over O’s left or the left leg over the right. Holding O’s legs in place, A then grabs O’s leg which they have crossed over the other and steps over O, flipping O over into a prone position before leaning back to compress O’s lower back.
]
Thank you for the chapter!