Chapter 389
Day 91 – Evening, the Town of Omui
I took a look. Yep, definitely a sister.
What a fearsome and vicious trap by the Church. A beautiful female nun (Sister-san). Well, technically Sister-san (Nun) already implies a woman so just beautiful Sister-san will do. But even in an ankle-length tunic with wide sleeves and large-hooded wimple, the Sister-san’s dangerous curves pushed right through the loose fabric, making it clear that despite that serene and pure expression on her face she was concealing a bombshell body: boom, bam, boom, an explosive weapon the Church has sent straight at us. When I see the Old Fart the next time I’m beating the hell out of him, but perhaps I can go easy on one of the hits.
「Uh, Haruka-kun, wait! Please, can you just hold on a second? We know you are mad, and we know what you want to say, but could you maybe give us a tiny moment to talk first? I mean, really, just a tiny little bit…」
Meripapa-san is making a fuss again. Whatever, it’s always about something trivial. If it were serious, the Aide-san would’ve come. Since he isn’t here, it can’t be important, so no need to listen to that. I mean every time I actually listen he ends up going on for hours about massage chairs anyway?
Our eyes met, me and the beautiful Sister-san. So I gathered every last drop of Affection Rating, poured in all the warm feelings I had, and flashed my gentlest, sunniest smile…and she fainted. WHY?!
「Haruka-kun, could you please stop scaring her? She’s with the Church, yes, but she opposed the war and personally brought healers to the frontier. I mean, my endorsement doesn’t mean much, but she’s a good person. It’s really terrifying when you smile with such a scary look, so could you stop… Ah…Too late? She had no built-up immunity, so her mind instantly blanked out in sheer terror…」
「Wait, hold on! I only smiled nicely, right? That was a premium, thumbs-up, five-star, priceless smile, that should’ve given a massive spike to my Affection Rating, right?」
(Shake shake. Nope nope. Bounce-Bounce)
Rejected! What’s with this total denial? And why are all three, even Slime-san, are going『Ooh, man』? Come on, that was a gleaming, tooth-sparkling model pose! So refreshing there could’ve been flowers blooming behind me, yet she’s out cold? Though I must admit, the twin peaks that still stand proud even when she is lying down are most impressive, but she is unconscious. The tunic’s so long I can only see down to her calves. Guess that rumor about nun’s habits having deep side slits and thigh-strapped knives is an urban legend. Yeah, can’t see anything. Sure, if I lifted the hem I could glimpse some thigh, but a Highschool Boy staring at the legs of an unconscious, beautiful Sister-san feels like an issue in terms of Affection Rating, so I’ll pass. I’m getting some heavy stares after just thinking about this, so it probably would be wise to resist. I guess…
「I understand full well the extent of your anger. As members of the Church we have no excuse. Whatever punishment awaits us is deserved. We are aware that our apology means nothing since we are just nobodies, no rank, no title, but we came to the Frontier to offer at least this much. We are truly, truly sorry.」
「「「「We humbly beg your forgiveness.」」」」
Is she apologizing? If she’s apologizing, then that must mean she did something bad. And now this beautiful nun Sister-san is basically saying that she is willing to accept any punishment, be it this or that or even that. I mean, there’s a saying that a warrior never turns down a feast placed before him, well, I’m not a warrior, I’m a Highschool Boy, but judging by the 26 pairs of eyes staring at me from behind with serious killing intent, I suspect if I were to feast on this Sister-san placed before me I might end up getting gutted, while Sister-san would be rescued from my stomach, with my guts then packed with stones and sewn shut before I’m tossed into a river. So, let’s not do that
「Pres and company, welcome back? What’s with the group visit? You poor things, did you wander all the way out here searching for food because you were so hungry? Come on, you already had dinner, If you overeat now, the One More Set will be so intense Billy-sensei’ll break down crying, flee into the mountains, and start a one-man-army guerilla boot camp of sorrow and rage? As a non-gluttonous pacifist Highschool Boy, I’m adamantly against this violent overeating, but I do have more food waiting back at the inn, unless the idiots already got to it? But it should still be there. Probably?」
「「「「Dinner’s in danger!, I mean, no! That’s not why we came! We’re not starving or anything!」」」」
「And why would Billy-sensei run away?! Think what would happen to the ones left behind!」
「Yeah, Billy-sensei would never abandon us!」
「「「Right, right!」」」
「No, I mean, you’d leave Billy-sensei up in the mountains?!」
「Yeah, Billy-sensei is too much for the state police to handle, so you can’t do that.」
「And besides, we haven’t eaten dinner! We’re not senile or loitering around!」
「Exactly! We haven’t even had lunch yet… Is lunch ready yet?」
「「「We did eat lunch! You’re losing it!」」」
「That’s right~ we heard a Church envoy arrived~ so~ we all came here together~ to make sure their next assignment didn’t become afterlife~」
「But also… What’s for dinner? Like, is it actually still there?」
「Ah, yeah, I prepared a sweet-salty hotpot sukiyaki-style from beef-like something with cabbage-like something. But once the idiots come back, there’s a good chance they’ll take the whole pot and run?」
「「「Emergency deployment! We need to lock down the perimeter and issue a state of emergency to secure the hotpot that is about to be carried away, otherwise the meat is in a danger of total annihilation!」」」
「Uh… excuse me…」
「And if the rice is in the serving pot, we’ll have to secure that too, or it will be stolen as well!」
「「「They would do that! Why would you make sukiyaki at a time like this!」」」
「Anyway, we’ve gotta seal off the inn, and prevent Kakizaki-kun’s party and Billy-sensei from going anywhere!」
「But what if Kakizaki’s crew and Billy-sensei team up and barricade themselves in the mountains?」
「How about letting Colonel Pres handle negotiations by radio?」
「「「That’s a flag you don’t want to trigger! That’ll definitely make things worse!」」」
「Um… excuse me…?」
「Sukiyaki? Is that something tasty? I’ve never tried it.」
「「「It’s one of the ultimate dishes in our entire culinary culture!」」」
「Mobilize the Royal Guard, Operation Sukiyaki Recovery begins now!」
「I’ll lead the Frontier Army to create a defense so tight not even a slice of meat can slip out!」
「Heey…」
「Yeah, there was a little unforeseen circumstance in procuring beef-like something, with supply running late, and no certain information on the next delivery, and with so much unclear about that mysterious supply route, one can’t say for certain if we will meet with another Sukiyaki-san in the next foreseeable future for certain. Currently, it’s going to be the last sukiyaki, and once that last bit of meat is consumed, I’ll meet my end, is the flag I’m trying to raise, although entirely unwilling to be deceived by a meat painted on the wall, like in that story with a painted pheasant, speaking of which……」
『PLEASE HEAR ME OUT! And how long are you going to monologue!』
Scream of a beautiful Sister-san. This has to go in R18, I guess? Yeah, somehow the combination of words Beautiful Sister-san has a certain depraved feel to it, tickling a sixteen year old Highschool Boy’s heart with its obscenity, which doubtfully can fit into R15 rating. But there is a larger issue sandwiched between the composure the likes of which one has to maintain to make sure the said they are about access is not the paid one before clicking age confirmation button and the passion for a sister-san, that being the age confirmation itself, becoming an insurmountable wall…
『PLEEEASE, listen! It’s like you can’t even hear me!』
Oh my, the Beautiful Sister-san seems to be shouting? Is this a heavy nun metal recital? I’d be very on board with catching crowd-diving beautiful Sister-san. Which parts should I be grabbing when catching her is the biggest question for a Highschool Boy, but if anything, I’m also fully prepared to dive at her!
「I deeply apologize to everyone here. I am not in a position to represent the Church, but as one of its members, we have come to offer our apologies. I do not believe that an apology could ever make things right, nor do I presume to ask for forgiveness, but as a powerless believer with nothing else I can do, I’ve at least come to bow my head in regret. I belong to one of the older factions within the Church, and…」
「Ah! The Presence Detection just picked up an idiot! The Detection says 『Idiot』 which means an idiot has entered effective range? The display only says idiot, so I can’t tell which idiot it is yet, but since we haven’t found any other idiots besides those idiots, so unless it’s a new species of idiot, then it’s probably the usual idiots, being dumb? Or rather, idiots?」
「「「We can hear Sukiyaki-san’s cry for help!」」」
「No, even if we tried to help, Sukiyaki-san would just be swarmed by the carnivorous girls, its tender meat would be taken into so many mouths, their tongues slowly wrapping around, savoring every bit as they chew with sticky sounds before finally gulping down, its texture enjoyed all the way to their throats! Sukiyaki-san was destined to be devoured, not saved. And since udon has been prepared too, Sukiyaki-udon-san will also be slurped up between their lips, unable to escape the tragic fate of being eaten, well that’s dinner for ya? I guess?」
「「「Sukiyaki-udon! And we don’t eat like that, that’s grossly erotic!」」」
「I came to apologize… fully prepared that my words would fall on deaf ears… but I can’t even reach any ears, no one is listening at all…」
『PLEASE, HAVE SOME PITY AND HEAR HER OUR! ALSO, I KIND OF WANT TO TRY EATING IT TOO!!』
Oh my, I thought it was Beautiful Sister-san screaming again, but this time it’s Merimeri-san? Looks like the popularity of 『Screaming』series even allowed it to produce new spin-offs? It seems like a huge hit, so we can expect good box office sales. And the popularity of sukiyaki also seems to have no bounds. Man, I want some tofu too… And shirataki noodles.
「「「「Yes, sukiyaki first!」」」」
Sukiyaki it is? Theн must’ve read the sincere desire of the Church’s people to apologize and atone. After all, we have Elf Girl with『Emotion Detection』, so no matter how hard one tried to pretend all of it would’ve been seen through after just one glance. And if Elven Little Sister Girl is sticking for them, then everyone will do the same. They would neither allow them to apologize nor drown themselves in the guilt.
However, everyone got so much better at banter and just following up on each other’s lines? Where did they learn this? Is this some sort of a skill?
Comment (0)