Chapter 399
Chapter 399: The most basic self-defense technique is to just cut down the opponent but they seem to have some sort of an issue with that level of safety
Day 93 – Evening, White Weirdo Inn
Upon returning to the town and stepping through the inn’s door I was met with Flat gazes. Yup, same old inn. (Quote by the perpetrator)
「What do you mean you took them for a spin? Why are you spinning Arianna-san and the others?! What exactly were you doing in that dungeon?!」
「Well, I mean, just think about it rationally, they had no prior combat experience, so making them fight monsters right off the bat would’ve been dangerous, so I spun them a bit, or rather rolled around? I guess I mean, when you say 『Dungeon』 rolling boulders are just common sense, right? A Dungeon that doesn’t have rolling boulders has totally lost its Dungeon Spirit. So I just went ahead and spun them up even more than usual?」
Before questioning the will or spirit of dungeons, I wish Haruka-kun would question his own behavior. Apparently, he spun them and rolled them. Sure, it’s a safe method for leveling up, but no one with even a shred of common sense would be rolling around giant iron balls. I really want to ask him what he thinks common sense means, but it seems exhausting, so I’ll pretend I didn’t hear it. But the leveling results are absurd. And they got put through a boot camp as well, it seems.
「Haruka-sama. Confirmed return of all personnel. Awaiting orders!」
「Aaah, good work, everyone~, I mean, we all came back together and didn’t forget anything, so clearly no one’s missing, no need to really confirm it? If we were missing someone, we’d notice? And if someone extra tagged along, just return them to where they came from, okay? That’s probably a monster? So, yeah, dismissed?」
「「「Sir, yes sir!」」」
For some reason they were all lined up in a perfect formation, stiff as boards, so I was already a little concerned, but, did I just hear the sort of reply that shouldn’t have happened? And since when did he become Sir?!
「No, seriously, we just did some regular combat training. At the end, Armored Pres-san and the others roughed up a bunch of monsters, then we tossed the Sisters at them. They got thrown at immobilized monsters, and since it went so well, we also tossed them at the Dungeon Master on floor 33, too. And now they’re acting all sharp and efficient, standing with great posture, looking like completely different people! See? Good posture is important for one’s health after all?」
「「「Sir, yes sir!」」」
「「「「What did you do to Arianna-san and the others?! They didn’t just change, their personalities were fundamentally altered! This isn’t a question of good or bad posture at all! Like, they underwent such drastic transformation, that I wish that they actually were different people and it was all just a mix up!」」」」
「Well, they did stop crying at some point, and then started laughing during fighting and by the time we got back, they were like this? I mean, people grow through experience, right? Surely they just grew, emotionally and spiritually, within the dungeon. Yup, their eyes are kind of crazy, so let’s stick with that version? Sort of?」
Angelica-san and Nefertiri-san are avoiding eye contact. For some reason they’re all tehepero and averting their gaze. Even Slime-san is bouncing innocently, acting all cute and pretending like it doesn’t know a thing!
「Uhh, so, in the end, what exactly did you have them do?」
「What? Training?」
「What kind of training?」
「What do you mean what kind? Real combat?」
「You trained them during combat?」
「Combat is the training?」
「How come they can do combat without any training beforehand?」
「Eh? If you tie a sword to their hands and toss them at the monsters they would stab and kill the monster, so it’s combat training?」
「「「「What the hell is wrong with you?! You were tying swords to noncombatants and throwing them?! What is this, human darts?!」」」」
It seems Haruka-kun used his Magic Threads to restrain and immobilize monsters, and then Angelica-san and the others held a darts tournament, using church members with swords tied to them as the projectiles. Faced with the sudden fear and confusion of being thrown at monsters, their sense of self collapsed, and without time to think, they simply obeyed orders to survive, fighting on instinct, as the result, they became unquestioning combat machines, soldiers who follow orders without hesitation… Wait, why were you giving them the Parris Island Marine Corps boot camp with a Hartman-style drill sergeant?!
「No, no, that’s not what I meant, I was just swinging them hard, like I’m about to throw them, but I was holding their ankles the whole time, so there’s no issue? Yeah, like a human whip? Well, I wasn’t grabbing their juicy thighs or anything, just their ankles, so even by Highschool Boy standards this was a perfectly safe and wholesome training session, and hey, zero injuries! The monsters got wiped out, the dungeon got cleared, and the church folk did their best, I even received some heartwarming words of gratitude, well, I would have, if the monsters weren’t already dead. But I’m sure, from beyond the grave, they were deeply moved by everyone’s effort? Probably? Except all we heard were their death screams as they were massacred by the scary nuns? Kind of?」
Strapping a falchion, onto someone’s hand and swinging them around to cleave with centrifugal force for leveling…
But the way they moved, those gracefully whip-like large motions, fully utilizing every muscle in their bodies without a single wasted motion. It’s not something you should be able to do in a single day, and yet their downward strikes are sharp like those of masters. Their technique is designed to cleave through enemy technique itself without care for the tricks, both basic and secret technique of human-versus-human combat. Now dress them in Haruka-kun’s custom gear and oh my, you’ve got beginners more powerful than the Church Knights.
「So, strong…」
「Yeah. No technique, but every hit’s a one-shot kill.」
「Defense is bad, but those nun outfits are specialized for defense.」
「Try to, exchange blows… and help them, learn the form. Please.」
「「「Jaa.」」」
And when we checked the results in the training yard, they really were strong. Sure, they were still beginners with no technique or experience, so breaking their form was easy, and with a gap in physical stats, handling them was no problem. But their hits packed a punch, and their response is razor sharp. It was a one-strike-kill style specialized for human combat. Every single one of them was wearing high-defense gear, had 『Heal』 or 『Restoration』 skills, and they all wielded a large falchion, a heavy sword named after the Latin falx, meaning scythe designed to smash through armor. Relying on their agility, they delivered swift and heavy slashing attacks with a leap.
「Everyone, deflect the first strike! If their form breaks, counter, if they maintain composure, parry the second!」
「「「Jaa.」」」
Their first strikes are master-grade, so what we are to teach them is what to happen after that. Experience combat, and learn through first-hand experience, it’s how we pay back what we received from Angelica-san, Nefertiri-san… (Jiggle-Jiggle?), and yeah, we got some from Slime-san too, but that particular experience isn’t one normal people should be trying to learn, okay? Slime-san is basically the polar opposite of what human-on-human combat would look like. If you try to learn from that, your fundamentals will fall apart, so it’s still too soon to try that. Actually, if someone ended up facing a Slime-san-level opponent, humans should probably just give up. The only ones who can stop it are those three non-humans.
People learn, which applies to enemies too. If the opponent studies your sword strokes, they’ll learn how to respond. So we teach them how to not be countered. How to link into a second strike. How to evade and defend when they miss. Just like how we were taught, how we still are, One More Set at a time.
「Phew, but I kinda feel like a teacher now?」
「It’s a little embarrassing, isn’t it? Especially in front of Angelica-san and the others.」
「So this is how we got stronger too, huh?」
「Although, up until we hit around Level 40, we were doing Haruka-kun’s 『Monster Tours』at most?」
「「「That was awful!」」」
Yes, we didn’t get thrown into iron balls or rolled around, but we spent ages gaining combat experience in the Evil Forest. And the awful part was that our example to follow was Haruka-kun. The one doing all of the instruction and explaining was Haruka-kun. With zero understanding of anything, we kept fighting endlessly with just『If you keep hitting them until they die, they’ll die? Kinda?』, as explanation… Sure, he always helped us out and kept us safe, but from start to finish, the explanations made absolutely no sense.
We were balanced, trained for all-around adaptability, but Arianna-san’s group is optimized for armed combat against people. That means close-quarters fighting, focused on defense, eliminating the enemy in one hit and preventing them from getting close. The rest he is planning to cheat through with equipment. He is up to something no good again!
Despite the many sermons we gave him about going too far, the randoseru he gave to the Orphans were packed not with dreams or hopes, but with multi-warhead, cluster-type missiles. It’s a vicious heavy weaponry that could endanger even us If the whole group fired at once. According to the creator, 『Well, if they’re equipped like this, no one would think to kidnap them, right?』OF COURSE NOT! Who would even think such a dreadful thing?! Who in the world would look at that and still try to kidnap them?! The whole town would get wiped out by the counterattack!
Sure, the Frontier sometimes gets hit with large-scale monster stampedes, but saying 『just in case they’re unlucky and encounter one?』, No, the monsters are the unlucky ones! If you’re able to handle a full-scale stampede, you can pretty much handle any other disaster this world throws at you! That goes way beyond self-defense and straight into excessive annihilation. At that point, it’s not a self-defense tool anymore, and more of a weapon of mass destruction? it’s like he totally forgot what the original intention was half-way through? Or he just doesn’t even consider any other resolution methods aside from total extermination or annihilation?
And now he’s doing the same thing with Arianna-san and the others… And no matter how overpowered or dangerous the weapons are, the target and the battlefield this time is the Theocracy. A place where there’s absolutely no need to hold back. Just imagining how devastating that kind of 『excessive self-defense』will turn out is terrifying. Theocracy-san, run while you still can.
After training, we all had dinner together. The monks returned to the Lord’s Mansion, but the nuns were going to stay the night. Haruka-kun looks a bit lonely without Oda-kun, Kakizaki-kun, and others around, who would usually hang around, picking fights and bantering with him. Without them, the inn’s dining hall felt just a little lonely. Dinner was a little more peaceful, a little quieter than usual.
(*kapooon*)
「「「Everyone, please tell Haruka-san too. This is an outrageous amount of money. It’s seriously an incredible sum! And after everything he did for us in training, we absolutely can’t accept this!」」」
Their pleading echoed through the bathhouse. The Sisters group, in perfect unison, was protesting the payment for today’s magic stones. Haruka-kun had apparently tried to hand them the entire sum, saying that he didn’t kill a single one himself.
「You were packed into iron balls and rolled around, or swung around by your legs, but the ones who actually killed the monsters were Arianna-san and the others?」
「Exactly. So you are the ones who worked hard… and the one at fault is Haruka-kun?」
「Calling that an outrageous amoung… Ah, have our sense of money completely broken?」
「I mean, our finances are in quite a pinch, right? But isn’t it common sense that clearing a dungeon means you can live as you please for the rest of your life?」
「…You can’t even make it three days on that, can you? From just one dungeon?」
「Weapons and clothing are pretty much all of our assets. If we sold those, we’d have a bit of a fortune? And the rest… well, we ate it.」
「「「It’s the fault of our insatiable desires(appetite)!」」」
Well, if you’re chasing a modern standard of living in a medieval world, the cost is outrageous. Even if things are bargain-priced, the base numbers are astronomical. If your daily lifestyle runs you ten million Ere, then even with a 90% discount, you’re still spending a million Ele per day. …Back when we first arrived in town, the goal was just 25,000 Ele a day…
Of that, 99% of the cost is Haruka-kun’s labor fee, and even though he’s technically raking it in, he’s constantly hopping back and forth at lightning speed between living like a lord and being super broke, but mostly just super broke . We end up with national-treasure-tier equipment, while Haruka-kun gets astronomical sums in loans, so no one has any actual cash on hand.
Arianna-san and the others are shaking with fear at the thought of even holding 1 million Ere. It’s probably best not to tell them the retail value of the nun-style combat outfits he made for them, better not to mention that they’re national treasures either. I mean, 1 million Ere wouldn’t even cover one of those sets… it wouldn’t even buy a single sword, but it seems it would be better not to tell them that?
Though, only the nun outfits were made tight-fitting with stretching material that perfectly shows off every curve (Perp’s Statement: 『No, it was purely in pursuit of mobility? Kind of?』), and they had super-deep slits too (Perp’s Statement: 『I’m telling you, it was all for ease of movement! I tested it myself!』), and they came complete with fishnet stockings and a knife-equipped garter belt! (Perp’s Statement: 『It’s a standard thing? Like, genre convention?』) If the nuns get excommunicated for corrupting public morals, then whose fault is that?! Why are they so sexy?!
Still, the collapse of financial sense is a serious problem. Lately, our original will to protect Haruka-kun with our own strength and earn money in his stead has been outweighed by the fear еhat we’ll all go bankrupt and end up sold off to Haruka-kun and tamed by him. Honestly, it’s a very real possibility. Being bought by a person who also can’t be trusted with a single penny…
「But food, clothing, and shelter are the basics of life, right?」
「「「Yeah, yeah.」」」
「The real issue is ordering more clothes?」
「「「That’s non-negotiable!」」」
「Sweets are pretty expensive too?」
「「「Also non-negotiable!」」」
Yeah. We just have to earn more! After all, there are things a girl simply cannot compromise on.
「But probably
Production is done now.
Today is bargain sale」
「With the, new method, glossier, finish. Beautiful. Feels really good to wear.」
「「「「Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!」」」」
Everyone rushes to scrub themselves down and leap into the bath, then immediately burst back out again like it’s a battlefield, eager to be first to grab the new goods. Arianna-san and the others just watch in stunned silence. But this is a battle no maiden can yield! Wait! I’m going first!
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