Chapter 409
Chapter 409: It seemed suspicious, so I tried haggling, but got it for free, which kinda ruins its credibility even further.
Day 96 – Morning, White Weirdo Inn
This must be what becomes of a fool. The ending was obvious from the start, yet without knowing his own limits, and lacking even a shred of strategy, he charged in and was utterly destroyed.
Because… because there were two beautiful race queen ladies waving at me to come overrrr!!
No gear, barely any MP, armed with nothing but Highschool Boy spirit, I boldly challenged the two Dungeon Emperor race queens. I fought valiantly, struck them down one after another with all my might and soul. But in the end, the odds were too stacked against me to make it through to the finish.
After I collapsed from exhaustion, they began their revenge, in the form of 『service』. They tormented the Highschool Boy, teasing him, devouring the last drop of his soul, their tongues licking slowly, their moist lips caressing and teasing. He resisted, then succumbed, then rose again only to fall once more in a vicious serial killing death and rebirth cycle.
Which is why two of them are in super high spirits today, cheerfully singing 『Get The Glowly』 since morning! With high jumps followed by headbanging! Yeah, last night I was overwhelmed too, consumed by that wild beat and the deep, intense headbanging. I like punk rock, but I don’t think that’s how these are supposed to be used?
Even though my MP had recovered this morning, my Highschool Boy reserves were completely drained. I didn’t even have the energy for revenge. The Highschool Girl Bunnies from the cafeteria and the race queens from the room teamed up in perfect sync and disarmed me like some assembly line, leaving me no room to counterattack. What is this inn? It’s really close to violating public decency laws or something!
I stopped by the guild to get my share of Flat Gaze, delivered a mushroom bento to the General Store, and dropped by the Weapons Shop where yesterday I only dropped off iron without plundering the funds. There, among the stuff presented as new stock, I saw a piece of gear labeled 『Earcuff of Weal and Woe – Protective Amulet that slightly alterns fortune and misfortune based on LuK』 …It looked just like one of those shady『Lucky Necklaces』 you see in scam mail-order catalogs! I wonder if it works on Affection Rating from the opposite sex?
Still, even if the effect is miniscule, with my LuK maxed out past the limit it might work. It’s also the first earcuff-type piece of gear, so it’d make a good research item as well. And if it really has the power to influence the world, even slightly, based on LuK, then it’s an amazing item. Really dubious though?
And even if it turns out to be useless, it’s still an amulet. That makes it lucky by nature. Maybe Luck-san will influence Affection Rating-san too, even if only slightly.
「Hey, old man, how much for this? I mean, I’m totally not planning to pay the asking price, but I figured I’d ask first before haggling, even though I have zero intention of paying what you say. So, how much? If it’s expensive, I’m yanking your beard. I also can’t say that I wouldn’t want to yank it anyway even if it’s cheap? Sort of?」
「Don’t yank it!! Why are you always going for my beard?! Oh, that thing? Yeah, take it. Free. One of the regulars who ordered a weapon didn’t have enough money and left it behind. Said he won it in a gamble, but it’s too sketchy to sell and probably doesn’t work, so it’s just a junk, but the poor guy didn’t have any weapon, so I took it. Yeah, and the sword I gave him was made from techniques I learned on that sword you made, and the material also was the iron provided by you. So you can have it. Just don’t touch my precious beard!」
Tried to haggle, but it was free. But getting an amulet for free seems like it might cancel out its blessings somehow, so I threw in an extra ton of iron as payment. I hadn’t found any big ore veins lately, just mined bit by bit, but apparently it added up more than I realized. Plus, the purity was high, so even after refining, it didn’t lose much volume, so I had more stock than expected. Even the mithril, while not enough, still remained in decent quantity. Even so, the demand keeps increasing, so it’s like pouring water on a hot stone, but thanks to how easily I can harvest using 『Holding』 and refine using 『Alchemy』compared to earlier, I’ve been gathering so much that my sense of scale seems to have gotten a little warped.
Immediately putting on the earcuff I tried patting Armored Pres-san and Dancing Girl on the butts in the name of an experiment, and got scolded. They got, like, super mad..
Apparently, a mere amulet isn’t enough to evade a lecture. Also, I’d already introduced them to Meripapa-san, and now they’re in their casual clothes, and the cuteness was absolute bliss. So honestly, from a Highschool Boy perspective, patting their butts was inevitable. Right, this scolding is the result of a legitimate experiment! So can we wrap it up already? It was for science, so I didn’t do anything wrong?
On the way to the Dungeon, I tried stretching out my hand in the name of further testing the amulet, only to get smacked. Why reach for it, you ask? Because the mountains were there! But I kept getting smacked before I could reach even the base of the sacred peaks, and eventually, they pulled out morning stars, so I gave up on the experiment. Seems like there’s no lucky pervert event coming either. I mean, they’re Dungeon Emperors, so they don’t come equipped with the klutzy attribute. A clumsy Dungeon Emperor would probably make the whole dungeon nervous.
I swept my blade in a single strike. Though I’m still in training, and my grasp of tempo manipulation isn’t complete, the sharpness of my 『Kyojitsu』 has definitely improved. Slow and fast, flowing yet sharp,lazily yet hastily I cleave through. People subconsciously move to rhythmic patterns, and by aligning a rhythm to movement speed the fastest flow emerges.
It’s only now that I have some grasp of manipulating irregular tempos that I can understand just how monotonous and predictable the monsters’ tempos are. That’s why they’re read, matched, thrown off balance, and cut down one after another.
No wonder I always got smashed. If your rhythm is read, your openings for attack and defense become exposed . That’s why I always got beaten, over and over again. And you are getting beaten as well! (*THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD…*)
I put my soul into clubbing them. I wonder if my feelings got through to the monsters? I added some extra weight using 『Gravity』 magic and smashed with heavy feelings. A total beatdown. Just like the beatings I take during daily training. I figured if I’m the only one getting smashed, that’s unfair, so I tried sharing some beatings with monsters too, but they got annihilated. You’d think they could at least withstand this kind of warm-up beating? Like, I still have a real beating awaiting me?
『Mara’s Robes – ALL 30% Up, Enhance All, Mana/Sorcery Mastery (EX), Mana Conversion, Mana Circulation Amplification, Effect Attunement』that the girls gave me yesterday as a part of 『Dungeon Item Buyout』was a crazy find, so I purchased it at an outrageous price of forgiving their debts, including the payment for nun outfits, and on top of that, making 3 new custom outfits for each, but it was worth that much.
The effects were so absurdly strong, that they eclipse even the rip-off price the girls haggled for it. That terrifying bunny girl welcome while getting all up close and personal among the chaos around, pressing fishnet-wrapped thighs against my legs and rubbing some very soft, dangerous objects on my face, while negotiating in the most overly cutesy way possible, and I still came out ahead with this gear. That was really sly! Truly super high-class bunny girls! If they opened a store, I’d probably become a regular!
Even without focusing on control, I can feel 『Magic Wrap』 naturally taking form. There’s no wild surging magic or chaotic energy, everything blends and harmonizes on its own. It’s far easier to control and puts less strain on me. On top of that, all my stats are up across the board.
Looks like I have to start from scratch and re-tune everything again.
When I was unable to control the abilities『Wisdom』 was overwhelmed trying to compensate and everything collapsed, but now that I can control more of it, that itself adds to the strain. The stronger the Magic Wrap gets, the more catastrophic the self-destruction becomes when it doesn’t go well. Like, I really would like to avoid something like my torso getting blown off? I’d end up having to answer which half, upper or lower, is the true Highschool Boy!
Even when faced with a massive swarm of 『Slash Bats Lv82』 covering the entire 82nd floor, I’m able to adjust and interlock the complex circular motions through my whole body, incorporating polyrhythmic stepwork, dancing and spinning through the enemies with a sword dance that let’s none approach. I feel like I could even pitch a gyroball right now!
As I thought that I was finally getting handed some monsters for once, I turned around to offer a word of gratitude, only to find Armored Pres-san and Dancing Girl-san grinning with triumphant smugs, humming in duet 『We Are The Champions』 Ggh… the humiliation! A Highschool Boy’s soul-crushing defeat! Unforgivable disgrace compared to which 『Canossa humiliation』 seems like a mild pity! Revenge! Tonight, I’ll be fanning the flames of vengeance into a full-blown inferno!
Even last night, even without any equipment, through the use of 『Vibration』 magic and general mobilization of Tentacles via mana manipulation, cloaking in『Lewd Arts』 and unleashing dignity of the 『Sex King』I was able to bring them down again and again, throwing them into mandess. Even when the Highschool Boy ran out of strength and MP, the Dungeon Emperors kept rising back. After hundreds of screams and thousands of convulsions, the ones standing atop the bed, gazing down upon the powerless, spent Highschool Boy were two peerlessly beauties, their lips curled into lascivious smiles, and their elegant eyes burning with the fire of ecstasy!
Their breathtaking, sensual bodies, perfection incarnate, looming over me from both sides. With me subdued by the sight of their flawless figures, their divine proportions, and the sensual curves reminiscent of a miracle, they smiled as they gazed down at me, and thus, the ravaging began! A brutal, obscene torment unleashed upon the Highschool Boy, filled with relentless kisses and caresses from their lips and tongues, using their beautiful bodies to perform acts of service so dedicated it bordered cruelty. The dignity of the Sex King shattered, the Highschool Boy was chewed up and devoured, toyed with and played to ruin. Shot down and destroyed. Regret.
This is a serious problem. Even the dining hall at the inn has become a major checkpoint. Two days in a row now, I’ve been stripped of most of my gear there, dragged off to the room as a defenseless Highschool Boy, and put through an ordeal. I need a plan. If I return without one, it’s bound to happen again, and as they say, once is an accident, twice is coincidence, and the third time is a pattern. I need to be cautious. Getting dazed when surrounded by those gorgeously dressed high school girls is what’s the most dangerous, but with all of the outfits being made with all my heart, it can’t be helped. They’re just that good. And even though I designed them myself, when I actually see them worn, it’s overwhelming. When all twenty-something of them line up wearing those, the destructive force is like a tidal wave! Yeah, what do I do?
And so, bound by endless frustration, I continue smashing monsters. Sensing and controlling every motion of my body and the flow of mana and effects associated with them I keep smashing. The destructive power and acceleration far exceed the strength I put in, but despite the confusion, I record and memorize this sudden evolution in physical ability. Behind me, the two are still grinning, whistling 『Be Happy』. Who the hell taught them PERSONZ songs?! Is that what they are doing in those girls-only gatherings?! Ugh, so frustrating!!
The 『Magma Slimes Lv89』 that filled the 89th floor weren’t the cute-type at all, and looked rather grotesque, but looks like Slime-san doesn’t have a cat’s tongue, being slime and all, so they are currently being devoured. But just looking at that makes me feel hot? Earlier it also ate a『Flare Creature』from somewhere, so these make for a perfect meal set?
Armored Pres-san and Dancing Girl-san still wore those gentle smiles, but the corners of their mouths were twitching with smug grins! Tch, This is a test of the Highschool Boy’s mental fortitude. But no matter how many times I see those divine, radiant, naked forms shining in a dingy inn room at midnight, they are always shockingly beautiful and seductively enchanting, I will never get tired of it! (currently screaming) The problem is, the Highschool Boy’s mental fortitude never gets tested at all because I’m too busy staring at it intensely every time.
「Now then, we’re about to fight the boss of the 90th floor, so let’s tighten things up, you grinning duo, yeah? Can you not combine nodding with smug grins like that? I mean, I kind of already feel like pushing you both down and taking revenge right now, but that’s kind of the usual, so maybe this has nothing to do with Revenge-san?」
(Nod-Nod, Nod Nod, Jiggle-Jiggle, Grin-Grin)
Okay, wait, that one was extra. I-I’m definitely taking my revenge! Fine then, let’s go smash the floor boss to calm my heart. (Grumble-Grumble)
The floor boss, 『Acid Tarantula Lv90』sat on the wide, tall ceiling, glaring down at us. As I walked up the ceiling, it was now giving me a somewhat troubled look? Don’t damn stare at me? Well, with all those eyes, no matter which way it’s facing, it’s going to look my way, I guess?. But that arrogant look from above really pissed me off! Yeah, because I already got plenty of that last night!!
That’s right! With wide grins plastered to their faces they looked at me from above, going splash-splashing and slurp-slurping for what felt like eternity! (*Whack!*) They peered down at me with their glistening, seductive bodies, showering me with meltingly sweet sensations, completely ravaging me, and now this spider dares to look down at me too! (*Crunch!*) And like, dude, I can walk on ceilings too. You think you have the right to look down on me just because you can sit on the ceiling? (*Squish!*) Modern Highschool Boys walk on ceilings and rule the world with self-enlightenment, okay?! (*Fwsh!*) I might’ve gotten Satori, but I’m also full of earthly desires! (*Stab!*) You get it?! (*Stab-Stab!*)
I kinda lost my temper, but I feel no remorse or regret. I defeated a monster, so I’m not in the wrong. In hindsight, maybe it wasn’t actually looking down on me, it was just clinging to the ceiling. But those numerous eyes just irritated me for some reason? Kind of? I guess?
The fight was kind of over before I even noticed, but I think it was probably planning to spit highly acidic venom from the ceiling and trap us with webs?
Its body was also secreting strong acid, so if I had attacked from below, I would’ve gotten sprayed. Maybe it was a long-range attacker type of spider that specialized in ceiling ambushes.
Well, it fell and got eaten, so it doesn’t matter anymore. With that level of acidity, it might actually aid digestion for Slime-san? But I wonder, even if strong acid is good for digestion, is it good for your health? The ground where its body fluids spilled started steaming with a sharp, acrid stench and a loud sizzling noise, was that sulfuric acid? Is that even edible? Well, I guess if you don’t have a stomach, it’s not really a problem? Probably?
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