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Chapter 170: Apparently, there is a picnic boom in the town, I wonder if the cave-living boom will ever come?

Translator: “Pink Tea” Editor: ”Ryunakama”

Day 52 – Daytime, The Town of Omui.

Armored Pres-san is also having fun shopping at the general store. Looks like she is having a hard time choosing a handkerchief? Is it for wiping her armor?

「Heey, Armored Pres-san, I’m back. I’m hungry, so let’s jambalaya. Although I don’t have shrimp, so I’m going to use mysterious bird meat instead? If I added eggs it probably would be indistinguishable from omurice? I’m saying this as the one making it, you know? Is it any different from chicken with rice? Wait? Eh?」

Well, as long as I claim strongly enough that it is jambalaya, everyone probably won’t catch up on what is going on.

Going where Slime-san and others are having a picnic and having a late lunch there, we would still have plenty of time left, so how about remodeling the Fake Dungeon after that? Or maybe it would be better to bring Slime-san to My Home in the cave? These two lie in opposite directions, so it’s a bit of a pickle. If we seriously run at high speed, then making it there and back is possible, but do I have to desperately run around like an idiot on my day off? Well, there are some Idiots that seem to enjoy chasing kobolds around on a day off, but who cares about them.

「「「Let’s dig in (Jiggle Ji~ggle)」」」

The weather and the view are great. It feels like a picnic, although with jambalaya.

According to Poster Girl, with the surrounding of the town now being safe, a picnic boom has begun. Alright, time to develop picnic goods! I smell profit!

Indeed, until now, with the proximity of Evil Forest, it was far too dangerous to have picnics. But now, deforestation has progressed a great deal, and since it is also accompanied by demonsterization, it is safe outside. Not even mentioning that all of the townsfolk are equipped with clubs now. A town of carnage, ready to exchange blows with goblins! Rather than it being safe, it probably became a source of fear, so the gobs don’t dare to get near.

As expected, it might be too dangerous to have a picnic with girls only, but since Slime-san is with them it’s alright. If something can be threatening even with Slime-san, then town walls will be of no help either. I mean, if a monster that can’t be defeated even by the dungeon master, that likely was extremely close to becoming dungeon emperor, then it’s the same danger level as the deepest dungeon floors? That’s not the place for a town to be? Even I gave up on making a hot spring on the last floor of the great dungeon? Although I still regret it a bit?

The scythe squad must be patrolling nearby, Stalker Girl has a high level 『Detect Presence』, and with Slime-san around even Orc King would have no chance to join the picnic. However, I asked Demon Scythes to fell Evil Forest, but their levels keep steadily growing? They are definitely playing around, hunting gobs and the lot as well? But if they keep playing with gobs and kobolds they might turn into idiots? The Idiots must still be at it? And the Geeks escaped on their ship? The ambush totally failed.

I considered experimenting with monster creation at the Fake Dungeon by using『Treasure of Monster Core – Create and Manipulate Monster Cores』, but the analysis was still not over, and unusually, instead of the Avatar of Avarice-san, it was the Avatar of Gluttony-san who wanted it, so I ended up giving『Treasure of Monster Core』to Slime-san. I wonder if it’s delicious?

It seems the girls are going to join the picnic later, so I left snacks and sweets for them. No idea if they can hold themselves back until 3 o’clock, but considering how hard Poster Girl and Stalker Girl are staring at the sweets it’s just a matter of time before they give in.

And it looks like Armored Pres-san and Slime-san are going to come with me. I told them that they can do as they please since it’s a day off, but they went 『Jiggle Jiggle』and『Shake Shake』in response? Lately, Armored Pres-san began to resemble Slime-san? Although her morning scoldings seem to be improving at a terrific rate? It seems she is learning from the sermons the girls are giving every day. She supposedly got a lot better at talking during the girls-only meetings, but when I asked what they were talking about there, all I got is that it’s apparently a maidens’ top secret?

Then, passing through the Fake Dungeon, while also remodeling on the way, I intrude into the neighboring town. Stealthily jumping over the town wall is nothing for me, but since someone from Stalker Girl’s clan was nearby, I had them guide us inside. And upon collecting information at the local Adventurers’ Guild found out that quite a great number of adventurers challenged the Fake Dungeon and had a very bad time there, so by now, no one takes any quests for it. And here I went out of my way to add new traps. Such unmotivated adventurers. Well, with weapons and equipment destroyed or melted they must be deep in the red. In addition, there are even rumors that if you go there as a couple you will end up breaking up. Just what did those couples do after their clothes melted? Or rather, dungeons are not dating spots, you know? Makes sense they will get dumped after bringing a girlfriend to such a place! The dungeon did nothing wrong!

By the way, the current record holder almost managed to get through the pond of dissolving liquid, making three successful jumps on the rocks placed there but ended up slipping on the oil smeared on the third stone. It seems the people of this world just don’t get how these things go? If you are required to jump through three platforms, there definitely will be some sort of a trap on the third one, right? Why do they fall for every little trick?

And it seems the same goes for the local armed forces, who gave up, losing most of their weapons and armor. Can they still be considered armed forces if they have no arms? With nothing but clothes and wooden sticks, they would have matching equipment with me? Of which I’m not happy at all, it’s a bunch of middle-aged dudes anyway.

However, with pretty much the entirety of the population moving to the frontier the place is resembling a ghost town? Nothing but vacant houses, with almost no people on the streets, and since Stalker Girl’s clan continues their effort of sending people who are interested in moving to the frontier, the decline in the population just doesn’t stop. Well, since the frontier has a boom of labor shortage, of course, everyone will move there? It’s only natural this place will lose in popularity, I mean, they have an orc for the lord?

Because most of the stores are permanently closed, the wares are also scarce. I bought up everything even remotely notable, so there is nothing to do here. I just received an allowance, but I’m completely broke again? I’m probably about to get scolded again when I get back. Well, I can think about that when I return. Since a while ago, Slime-san, who turned small and was hiding inside the cloak, seems to be bored, continuously rustling around? I was really surprised when my lower half suddenly swelled up some moments ago! And for some reason Armored Pres-san was scared?

「It seems that the sticky trap that I made won’t see its turn? 『Bait them with a pitfall, and as they try to avoid it, jumping to the walls, a sticky trap』, was such a marvelous idea, so I used it, but it looks like there won’t be any challengers? I also tried that 『Paint a monster on the ceiling, which will collapse if attacked』, but compared to the sticky trap the impact is lacking?」

(Jiggle Jiggle!)

Yeah, Slime-san also seems dissatisfied? As I thought, we need a tentacle monster there, but for now, it seems I’m the only one around with tentacles? Were I to use tentacles to attack female adventurers, that had their clothes dissolved, it would become an incident, you know? And also, I’m not a monster, okay?

I made the basic check of the Fake Dungeon but it looks like it is maintained just fine, and all of the traps also function properly. It seems the manager golem is working diligently. As a reward let’s load it with extra mana.

Royal envoys seem to be visiting a nearby town, but I don’t think there is a need to check on them. I mean, the moment I simply thought about going to see them, as the leader of the delegation is supposed to be a female knight, I sensed such a sharp Flat Gaze on me that I felt it physically prickling me? Looks like Armored Pres-san’s Flat Gaze is also improving day by day. Is the problem in the overlap of Female Knight archetype? Is it the precious 『Guh… Just kill me!』 -type? All of the girls around me are『Guh! I’ll kill you!』-type, the nuance is quite different? And if they are going for a kill that 『Guh!』is unnecessary, you know? Also, don’t try to kill me just because I refuse to take extra orders? What kind of Oda Nobunaga-san are you!? Why can’t you be Ieyasu-san? And also, president, stop with those Hideyoshi-like plans? At this rate, you’ll make me cry before you’ll make me sing? [1][2]

I don’t want to miss that, but since the prickling doesn’t stop, let’s go back. No, who wouldn’t be curious after hearing the words female knight? I mean, be it the miners’ village or this town, I didn’t meet anyone but middle-aged men today? There is just no room for any events flags to raise up? Or rather, if any flags with old men were to pop up I’ll burn them to ash! I’ll cry if that happens, you know? It seems this world is filled with tears. Okaay, the tingling hurts so let’s go back.

「All that’s left for today is to return, so how about taking a detour? If there is a village they might have some sort of ingredients, well, since I have no money I’ll have to barter, but wheat or mushrooms seem to work in most of the cases? How about just making shrooms the currency already? I’m the only one who can gather them as I please.」

And since it’s apparently is 『Jiggle Jiggle』and『Nod, Nod』, we take a detour. However, I can’t help but feel like I’m just talking on my own, so please, do reply properly? You aren’t wearing a helmet right now, right? Aren’t you getting too influenced by Slime-san? Aren’t you the senior here? Or Ex-Superior even?

But Slime-san seems to have gotten better at fast travel? Even though it didn’t level up or anything? Did it perhaps enter a growing phase? Is it going to eat even more from now on? As I thought, there is no avoiding the home industry. Avarice-san seems to have spent all of her allowance too. If I made that handkerchief it definitely would’ve been cheaper than buying it at the general store, but I won’t mention that. Everyone must be enjoying the shopping itself. I have to earn more!

The rest is way too short?

[TL Notes:
[1] Kukkoro (クッコロ), short for “Guh… just kill me!”, points to a popular cliche? A trope? of proud female knights that allegedly would rather choose death than the humiliation of defeat, with the phrase in question becoming signature.

[2] This is a reference to a famous Zen parable about a fictional account of a Zen master asking the three most powerful warlords of the Sengoku or Warring states period (Oda Nobunaga, Toyotomi Hideyoshi, and Tokugawa Ieyasu) what they would do if a cuckoo didn’t sing. It was a parable that illustrates the character of each of these three different types of leaders.
Oda Nobunaga was known for his fierceness and cruelty and thus would answer, “Kill it.”
Toyotomi Hideyoshi was the most cunning and would therefore coyly say, “Make it.”
Tokugawa Ieyasu was the most diplomatic and patient so he would most likely say, “Wait for it.”
]