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Chapter 283

Chapter 283: Other world’s people keep ignoring my setups but keep throwing the ball to me?

Day 68 – Nighttime, Souvenir Store, Fake Dungeon, The Neighboring Town’s side.

The noblemen’s army of the Church’s faction is gathering up in small groups. As terrible as it may sound, it’s more than 30,000 middle-aged men. A sea of unsightly middle-aged men as far as the eye can see. That is one sea I absolutely don’t want to dive into… This is horrid. Since the day I was born, I have never seen a sight this ugly and sweaty. I mean, 30,000? It’s like a small town with a 100% middle-aged men population… That’s one awful town!

「…This better be actually working.」

「Why don’t you try it for yourself, if it doesn’t we are ready to exchange, replace, take it back, or return the money? I don’t know how long it takes to run out of power, but if the light disappeared from the stone and it became pitch dark it means that its effectiveness has worn out, or rather the time has run out, or rather magic power. If stone golems inside the dungeon move even a little bit we’ll return your money. They are going to move if you hit or attack them but that’s your problem, okay? Since you have so many people, all of which happen to be middle-aged men, I will make a special offer, for every hundred that you buy I’ll add a mushroom pennant for free! I actually have a whole load of them unsold, I wonder what’s the issue with them? Yeah, even though everything else sold out? Kind of?」

I barely made it to the opening of the souvenir store’s main shop at the Fake Dungeon. That was close. Like, it was really tight. If I didn’t fly with 『Air Walk』 I wouldn’t have made it in time.

And just when will I get a skill for landing? It feels like I might get 『Crashing』 skill before that!

The shop is located in an abandoned town without any stores or anything… Which is called Neighboring Town? In other words, since there are no stores anywhere around, I now have full monopoly to conduct rip-off sales, and get dirty rich. I already profited from the Confederation, and now I have to profit from the Theocracy too, otherwise I will be branded and shamed for discrimination, so I have to properly rip them off, since I don’t want any drama or complaints.

「For the provision, tell me beforehand how much do you need so I can buy it, okay? The advance payment is half of the sum, the rest 60% is to be paid on the delivery, plus 10% deposit? Summing it up may be mathematically difficult with various complicated theorems involved, or rather, since it’s all split up like that it shouldn’t be added up, but I’ll supply the stuff you need?」

「…If that’s true it will be a great help. Actually, the unit that was carrying provision was attacked on the way here, so we hardly had enough, can you take care of this?」

「Thank you for the patronage? But without advance payment and the deposit we can’t stock up on the stuff, so scrape up the needed sum? Well, it’s actually the purchasing responsible person who is going to get the stuff, I’m just operating the souvenir store. And for the limited time of now you can get a mushroom pennant for a very nice price?」

The nobles’ army must be pressed for provision by now. On the way back from the Capital I picked up all of the provisions that happened to have fallen on top of the nobles’ army’s column of wagons, so they shouldn’t have any.

「With the supply cut off we would have been in real trouble if it wasn’t for this store. Plus this stuff called manju is real good.」

「And this pass thingie can stop stone golems, minimizing the damage.」

「It’s expensive, but it’s worth it. And well, you know how it goes. (Grin)」

They probably think that if they can keep the friendly front and treat me as a cooperator they can secure their supply until it’s all over, and once the Fake Dungeon falls they’ll just have to dispose of me and they’ll get back all of the money they spent, so they are paying the asking price without arguing as if they have money growing on trees. It’s good money, but manju are about to sell out. If the girls find out that those guys ate everything they’ll probably end up on the receiving end of Pres-sama’s whip scolding called slaughter.

But speaking of the pres-san, each time I’d see her, she’d be munching on manju like a squirrel, holding one in each hand… Are her calorie calculations alright?

Then, with plans laid out on top of the table that I prepared for a fee, a strategy meeting began. Naturally, being as considerate of a person as I am, whom it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to call considerably considerate, I also prepared chairs, for another small fee. And for another additional fee I’m also delivering tea and manju, for almost an oversaturation of consideration.

Well, even if it’s called strategy, it’s just a human-wave tactic. Earth mage corps and engineering corps are working hard to fill up traps. They’d have a mud golem walking ahead, and once it falls into a trap, have it turned back into soil, burying the trap, gradually neutralizing the Fake Dungeon, is what their plan seems to be.

Mud golems can’t fight stone golems, but they seem to be intending to disable them by mass purchasing Fake Dungeon Passes. Well, actually, even if they manage to stop stone golems, there is Rafflesia-san waiting ahead, but since it’s nothing but middle-aged men, it chose to hide. I mean, tentacle torturing middle-aged men is an actual torture! I don’t want to see such a thing, that’s definitely a big no for a highschool boy!

Then, a large number of soldiers advances according to the plan, with mages working all together on creating mud golems and filling up traps as they proceed. But even so, they keep triggering traps one after another to no end. I mean, I keep adding more? No, if they keep discussing their strategy right in front of me, I’d prepare some more? Naturally? Like, they keep telling me where they are going to put bridges, which area they are going to fill, which path they are going to take, so it would be rude not to?

I mean, all of the middle-aged noblemen keep making set ups in front of me, going 『We are going through here』, 『This way, here』, 『Over there』? I gotta read the mood? Yeah, I added traps to all of those places?

And so I keep installing traps while listening to their endless strategy meeting conducted right in front of me. All while rip-off tea and manju sets keep selling for 10,000 ere each.

They surely must be thinking that they are gradually making progress. They surely don’t think that the Fake Dungeon keeps gradually stretching.

And then there is a gang that while participating in the meetings, keeps silent all the time, only taking notes. That is the Theocracy’s unit.

The nobles aren’t even beginning to suspect that they are sacrificial pawns for the sake of destroying the Fake Dungeon. No idea if they believe in the Church’s sincerity, the Theocracy’s loyalty or the Old Fart’s justice, but if they can believe in that, they’ll believe in the possibility of the Geek’s rehabilitation or the future where the Idiots will have meaningful discussions of academic importance. Those are challengers willing to bet on some unlikely odds.

「Alright, fill up the swamp in the left passage and put up a bridge.」 「I permit the use of magic stones if low on mana.」 「Engineering corps. The right side isn’t filled up enough, what are you doing!」 「Hey, kid. More tea.」

Once the mages ran out of their mana they began going through magic stones like its tap water continuing to produce mud golems to fill up the Fake Dungeon. They also keep buying passes like crazy to halt stone golems. Stone golems also have it tough, having to pretend that they can’t move. It was worth it making them practice with Red Light Green Light. Ah, that one twitched!

Even so, gold coins keep piling up through their lavish spending. That rear unit that keeps supplying them with magic stones and gold is a knight order from the Theocracy. They are backing this army for the sake of using it as a decoy and a battering ram to neutralize the Fake Dungeon and storm Murimuri Castle, all so they can deplete the enemy’s traps, weapons, and resources. And they are also our best customers here.

However, if they are willing to pour such enormous budget, manpower, resources, and magic stones into filling up the Fake Dungeon, they could’ve as well given those funds to me and I would’ve immediately filled it up, but no one seems to be willing to make me that offer?

Without letting them advance too fast, I keep drawing them deeper while ripping them off. Fully stopping or even worse destroying the nobles’ army runs the risk of the Church resorting to use of their trump card. It’s too early for that, so for now it’s a delaying tactic WITH rip-off feat. Magnate. If only the nobles had some sort of a unit consisting of pretty ladies, then Rafflesia-san and others would’ve had their place to shine too. They must be very disappointed. I’m very disappointed too.

「The fill up was finished, but there seems to be another three-way fork.」

「The one with the biggest trap should be the correct one, which one was larger?」

No? It’s actually the left one that looks like nothing but is all smeared with slippery oil? The path is ascending, so it might be a bit inconvenient.

「The passage in the middle has a giant hole.」

「Alright, go through the central passage.」

Apparently, it’s the central passage. Alright, let’s connect it to the exit on the right and make a loop. Having someone draw a strategy map before my very eyes makes things immensely easier to understand. These are some pretty considerate middle-aged men.

The Church’s people keep silently copying the map and handing it to their subordinates. In that case, the Church’s main force must be stationed in the rear, outside the Fake Dungeon.

And from that rear regularly comes a carriage loaded with gold coins, buying up food and dungeon passes. If they had this much money they could’ve as well just bought magic stones without any problem, but they just had to waste all of it at such a place, good grief, because of that I’m taking huge profits? Thank you very much?

「Kid. Sell us weapons. About two units had their weapons melted. Dammit, what an aggravating dungeon.」

Food, weapons, equipment, dungeon passes, all sell like hot cakes, but mushrooms-type pennants have no demand at all? Maybe I should place them in some more noticeable place? For some reason the pres and others were trying to put them where they’d barely be visible?

A middle-aged man from the Stalker Girl’s clan who is pretending to be on restocking duty by pretending to carry goods came. Well, it definitely could be a problem to have a cute girl waltz into a place with nothing but sweaty men, but even so, further increasing middle-aged men density in the Fake Dungeon’s closed space could lead to it reaching the critical point and starting middle-aged men fusion reaction, creating a giant middle-aged man? Hm? Were the giants here born through the middle-aged men fusion reaction? Well, I’m killing them anyway. I mean, normal or giant, it’s still a middle-aged man.

The middle-aged man from the Stalker Girl’s clan said 『No movements』 in a low voice, and after pretending to take a load off went back. Looks like we but narrowly managed to avoid middle-aged men fusion reaction. That was close.

There are no movements, and it’s still not the time yet, which means the extension of the rip-off draw in plan.

Even now, I keep diligently deepening the hole that they are diligently trying to fill up. They already filled it up by 40%, and I sort of do have to allow them to make progress, but it’s still kind of vexing?

But unless I draw in the nobles’ army, I wouldn’t be able to draw out the Church’s unit. That is the target I need to draw out and suppress right here, otherwise there will be trouble. If that is unleashed on the Kingdom’s side of the dungeon there would be no means to stop it. That’s why I have to force the fight at the Fake Dungeon and Murimuri Castle, the threshold in between the Kingdom and the Frontier. And they probably will use the last resort option too. Stopping them here means it going out of control, so I have to let them make progress and strike them at the entrance, and if that fails, the Fake Dungeon and Murimuri Castle will become the last hope. That’s where the back against the wall rip-off souvenir store with barkers and hospital reception comes in.

「Hey kid, additional provision for 5,000 people, and don’t forget drinking water.」

The enemy numbers keep growing. With the inclusion of stray mercs, brigands, and robbers, the gathering of middle-aged men accelerated even further. The Middle-Aged Men density ratio grows without stopping, threatening to soon go over the saturation limit. By now they probably could defeat a dungeon master through their middle-aged men smell alone. A doggie-type dungeon master would run away in tears. I mean, even I want to run away!

They finally were able to deduce the right route, and began climbing the slippery oily slope. The oil is not only slippery but also has 『Dissolve』 property so shoes should sell. Let’s secretly mass produce some. If they also fall down after slipping then other equipment will get destroyed too, so sales should improve even further.

Siigh… Everything is littered with middle-aged men. Even though it’s nighttime, it’s a hellscape with no signs of elements that could entertain one in a highschool sort of way. Good grief, everyone was disparaging the Royal Prince as useless, but he actually brought Pretty Female Knights with him and even had them escort me. The first good middle-aged man I encountered in this world. But those nobles and the church’s middle-aged men are totally useless. If they at least brought beautiful female treasure hunters and had them explore the way I would’ve promptly guided them to Rafflesia-san’s room. Just what made them think they can traverse this dungeon with just middle-aged men? The only person who managed to get through was Royal Girl, you know? In other words, this is what it means? The higher the middle-aged men ratio gets, the higher the difficulty becomes, and lower the safety?