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Cop Craft Volume 2 Need for Speed Part 8

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Translator: ClefRunner

Editor: Weasalopes

Editor: Sky

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That evening.

Even before Matoba and the rest could get a single clue, Tony had already caught something interesting. O’Neill, the informant, had received a call. Apparently some man was trying to buy a huge amount of magazines, and they had the perfect guy for him.

「Understood. He’ll be waiting at my church at 9pm.」

Said O’Neill over the phone. His so-called “church” was obviously his own club. Tony confirmed and told Matoba; who was still working overtime, the new development and headed towards Seven Miles together with Godunov.

「It looks like we got our guy, huh…?」

Tony sighed melancholically inside the car.

「You don’t look happy.」
「Of course not. I hate having to act all “McCloud”. That’s exactly the type of person that I can’t handle at all.」
「But isn’t that the setting you chose yourself?」
「It wasn’t just up to me. Though, was it?! I was just worried about doing a proper job and then everybody started telling me to do this and that. It was a mistake to succumb to the pressure and commit to that type of character.」
「Well, I guess you’re right. Besides, I’m sure Mike would faint if he saw you doing an undercover mission like this.」

Tony got annoyed at him dropping his boyfriend’s name like that.

「Stop! I’m sure he’d break up with me if he found out! He’d be incredibly shocked seeing me act like that, considering how sensitive he is. He absolutely cannot find out about this, okay?!」
「Alright, alright.」

Godunov laughed as he roughly turned the car.

「McCloud, huh? And I actually liked that guy, too.」
「What are you talking about? He’s the worst.」

Said Tony in a disappointed tone as he took off his expensive jacket, untied his necktie, and unbuttoned his shirt’s top two buttons. He straightened the shirt’s collar, and took out a shiny gold necklace and a rolex wristwatch from his bag. He took off his expensive Berluti shoes, and started putting on the horrible crocodile boots he had been keeping in the back seat. He styled his hair in a cheap pompadour with wax, and was ready to go.

He took a deep breath and looked at himself in the mirror.

He absolutely looked like one of those thugs he would only see in cartoons. It was perfect.

「Ah. No! Nooo!」
「Don’t cry. Look, we’re here already.」

Godunov stopped the Citroen next to O’Neill’s club, and lightly tapped his distraught partner’s shoulder. Tony took another deep breath, clenched his abdomen and replied in a deep voice.

「Right. Leave it to me, buddy.」

He got out of the car, raised his chin, grimaced at his surroundings, grabbed his crotch with his right hand and then spit on the road. It was a perfect performance that could have fooled any bystander, but deep inside, he felt like dying.

「Yeah. That’s it, that’s it.」
「Shut up. Do you want to get killed, you asshole?」

Replied Tony in a cruel tone.

「Let’s take a picture and show it to Mike」
「Hey, please… just don’t do that, okay…?!」
「Your voice, your voice. Also, your feet.」
「Ah, right… Ehem… Well then, let’s fucking go!」

He started moving his shoulders quickly, and walking in unnecessarily large steps. They entered O’Neills club and were guided by his bodyguard Kenny, who had been waiting for them. There was a single man there. A young Semanian drinking a daiquiri at the counter. Tony and Godunov sat on each side of him and ordered a wild turkey and a vodka martini respectively.

「Hey, you two. I’m waiting for someone.」

The young Semanian spoke in a very upset tone.

「Shut up and listen instead of scurrying around like a fucking idiot.」
「Wh- what did you say?」
「This is for your own sake, now that I’ve come all the way here. You can go if you don’t want to.」

The man remained silent, apparently perplexed. And then started shyly asking questions.

「…A- are you the buyer?」
「What about introducing yourself before asking others?」
「I- I’m Gyarben.」
「Okay. I’m Tony McCloud, and he’s Alex Ivanov. A pleasure, Gyarben. No handshake, so let’s get straight to business.」

Godunov raised his thumb at Tony’s tough guy act from behind the Semanian man. He then silently mouthed the words “Good, good, keep it up!”

(Shut up, please!)

Tony opened his mouth and thoughtlessly moved his lips at Godunov.

「What?」
「Nothing… Anyways, that bastard O’Neill told me that you have something you want me to buy from you, huh?」
「Yeah. But are you sure you can buy it, though? If possible I would like to check that you have the cash first. You just have to show it to me.」
「Show it to you as proof? What are you, stupid, kid?」

Tony put his arm around the man, a gesture he frequently saw from random thugs, and shook him as if he was trying to tell him something.

「He- hey…!」
「What’s up, Gyaby? I can call you Gyaby, right? Do I really look that fucking broke to you? I’ve been doing business like this since you were still a brat sucking on your mama’s tits.」

After listening to Tony’s threatening tone and words, Gyarben desperately started to explain himself.

「No, I wasn’t trying to diss you or anything like that. It’s just that I wanted you to consider some of my personal circumstances as well…」

Tony found his innocent gesture of raising both hands in front of his chest and shaking them lightly kind of adorable. He was also pretty good looking, and despite trying his best to act like a thug, he didn’t have the act quite right yet, so he looked more like a frightened baby goat.

What a bad boy. He’s not even questioning whether I’m in fact a detective or who I’m pretending to be. I almost feel a little bad for him.

「Don’t underestimate me you kid. I may be lenient, but Ivanov right there is not. He’ll cut you up with no hesitation if you disrespect us. He took out an eye from this cheap bastard the other day and cooked some pirozhki with it. I don’t want that to happen to you, got it?」
「Eek….」

Tony kept thinking as he gripped the man by the neck.

What’s with this kid? His body looks so frail. I wonder if he even works out at all? And his skin is so pretty and smooth. His build is so tiny and mellow… Maybe it’s because he’s a little nervous, but his subtle blush is just wonderful. Am I feeling flustered over this guy?

「Tony. I think you should leave it at that.」

Godunov spoke up to him as he mouthed “Focus on work” from behind Gyarben.

「You’re right. I don’t want to make you shit yourself. Hehhehhe…」
「I- I’m sorry. Please forget I ever said anything about the money, Mr. McCloud.」

Perhaps Gyarben was feeling some unexplainable danger that he could not even rationalize himself, but he stood up from his seat hastily. Tony grabbed him by the nape and forced him back into his seat.

「Don’t worry about it, just sit back down, Gyaby boy. I think you’ve already proved your worth to me. Spineless bastards would’ve just shit their pants and tried to run their asses away before getting into trouble. But well, I think you look like a promising individual.」
「Re- really?」
「Yeah. Look at this」

Tony took out his phone and opened up the San Teresa bank account balance, showing it to Gyarben. He had 834,321 dollars remaining. Of course that was just money for show, and in no way was he allowed to spend it.

「Wha- are you for real?」
「Got it? And this is just a part of it. So now show me the stuff boy, and then we can move on to the specifics.」
「I have pictures of it, if that’s okay… I can bring them over eventually though…」

He said, as he pulled out a physical instant picture from his pocket.

It was a warehouse somewhere. There were magazines on top of more and more magazines… Another Semanian who was probably Gyarben’s partner was also in the picture as he read a newspaper from today, and held some strange porn magazines on both his hands.

「Huh. So it was true after all…」
「There’s just too much porn on Let Dorini」

Said Gyarben

「But Let Semani is not like that. There are also almost no DVDs or digital media whatsoever, and people don’t know about them either. Up until recently all we really had were paintings and novels. And then printed porn books started being sold. They were mostly some “Penthouse” magazines that had been left behind by Dorinis after the war. I’ve heard that the shock those magazines caused was incredible.」
「Hm」
「I’m not sure if this is a rumor, but apparently last year the Farbani nobility gathered some of them and secretly auctioned them. I’ve heard that the very first issue with a Semanian model who appeared in a “Playboy” magazine as “Miss August” earned them so much money that they could even afford to hire over fifty personal military bodyguards for an entire year.」
「I- is that so…」

Tony started feeling strangely tired and sorry for them. With enough money to actually hire over fifty people, they could have probably even hired the girl herself. What could he say? Maybe Semanians were just idiots when it came to issues like that.

「So I came here and looked at even more impressive magazines and books that were being sold here and there. So far these books have mostly been sold by very few people who came back with them, but what if you started selling them in bulk? Wouldn’t you be able to make a lot of money?」

After enquiring a bit further, Gyarben and his other two partners had come to San Teresa city as janitors, but the pay was low and living expenses were high, and no matter how hard they searched, they couldn’t find any good jobs, so in the end they had to steal to live. They started with small thefts, putting their hands into vending machines, but eventually they had the idea of stealing a lot of porn magazines.

「That’s what I thought. You’re smart, ain’t’cha?」

Said Tony, and then Gyarben smiled, flattered.

「Y- you think so? To be honest I just want to live a good life.」
「Being ambitious is a pretty good thing, Gyaby Boy. Porn, huh? I give it to you, that’s pretty good. There are perverts from all races and countries after all. I also found Miss August pretty hot.」
「Really?! Do you know her?!」
「Yeah! I couldn’t get enough of her amazing tits. My mouth waters thinking about it, and I get hard just remembering her.」

Tony and Gyarben looked at each other and started laughing.

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