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Cop Craft Volume 4 Chapter 4 Part 7

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“Translator: ClefRunner”

“Editor: Weasalopes”

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If that yelling had reached her a second later, the man’s skull would have probably become a mess sprawled over the garage floor. Tilarna’s weapon barely missed its target, scraping the man’s ear and hair, finally smashing itself against the clean concrete floor.

「…」

After taking a look, Tilarna saw Kei Matoba standing right in the alleyway entrance the man had used to come inside the house. He was holding his trusted automatic handgun in his hand, apparently prepared to use it in self defense. He wasn’t pointing the gun at either of them.

「Kei?」
「Tilarna, is that you?」

Said Kei. He looked around him, and then put his gun away, instead replacing it with some handcuffs.

「I heard it all from Cecil. Something about a certain bizarre magic making you switch bodies with Kuroi, or something…」
「Did you… come here to help me?」
「Of course not. I came here to help Kuroi. This man, one of the smugglers who were bringing in the loot from yesterday, was going to come over to our place and search for something. So I thought that would be trouble. I figured that if it had been your usual self in your body, then I would have had nothing to worry about…」

Kei started inspecting the man’s body before putting the handcuffs on, while occasionally muttering surprised short sentences like “woah…” or “oh, this is fractured as well…”.

「That’s pretty bad, he’s half dead, you know?」
「Well yeah, I had meant to leave him full dead. It was legitimate self defense」
「Try saying that in court. I’m sure his lawyer would be happy」

Kei frowned, cuffed the man, and then pulled out his cellphone. What this man needed was not to be arrested, but an ambulance and then a trial.

After briefly calling for an ambulance, Kei took a look at the man’s face and said

「Ah… look. I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to arrest you for trespassing and assault」
「And also for attempted sexual assault」

Kei looked at Tilarna who interrupted him, and then quickly averted his eyes awkwardly.

「I get it, I get it, so go and get changed already. The police and the ambulance are on their way」
「Eh? Ah, right…」

Tilarna replied, finally noticing the clothes she was wearing. The bath towel wrapped around her waist was almost falling. And her camisole was so loose, her chest was almost completely naked.

「Yeah, well… anyways… you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to talk to a lawyer…」

While Kei was reciting the Miranda Warning to the man, as he always did, Tilarna scurried away quickly to her own room.

Ten minutes passed, the ambulance and police car arrived, and took away the half dead man.

The patrol car no. 22 in charge of the New Compton Borough came by and asked them to inspect the room where the man had broken in, but Tilarna, who had just changed into a traditional Farbani outfit, kept coming up with excuses to refuse. Of course, she had no legal right to do that at all, but she knew that things could end up getting her in trouble in the long run, and wanted to avoid that.

Ultimately, the squad leader, who was an acquaintance of Matoba, reluctantly agreed to turn a blind eye to it.

They had to be thankful that they were not in a residential area, because the number of curious onlookers remained always minimal, and the usual quietness returned within just a few minutes after the patrol cars left.

In any case, after the two were alone once again, and managed to catch a breath, the discussion turned into whether they would be drinking coffee or tea, as they went upstairs back to the living room.

「Ah… for real? Shit」

Matoba looked again at the terrible state of the living room, and sighed.

It was completely destroyed. And it was not just from the fight between Tilarna and that “John” guy. There were many CDs completely shattered all over the floor, everything on top of the table was upside down, the refrigerator was wide open, and its contents were spread all over the floor. It looked similar to O’Neill’s apartment earlier.

「This is the worst. You clean it up」
「Why? This is also partially your fault!!」
「Why is it my fault? That magical crossbow’s spell or whatever you want to call it was cast because of your own carelessness」

Replied Matoba while he wiped a puddle of yogurt from the floor with a wet tissue.

「Well that’s… no, I won’t let you push all of this stuff on me. For starters, what was with your attitude this morning?! You hardly made any efforts to understand what I was trying to say when I approached you, despite being obviously in distress!」
「Wha… no, but, wasn’t that completely normal? Kuroi is always clinging to my feet, so there was no way I would have known that it was you!」
「Whu…」
「Just think about it. There was no way that I would have been levelheaded at all when you were clinging to me all erotically after I had just woken up. I mean… it was completely logical for me to get the wrong idea and try to push you away anyways!」

Tilarna went quiet for a short while after hearing that, and then for some reason, meekly looked at Matoba in the eye and asked

「Is that so…?」
「What?」
「No. Nothing…」

Replied Tilarna, and then immediately turned away. For some reason, the image of her curled up lips stayed in Matoba’s mind for a while.

「Anyways… say, what ended up happening with the crossbow?」
「Ah, that…」

Tilarna had been thinking a lot after all the commotion had calmed down.

She told Matoba everything she had been thinking. A magical crossbow that switched people’s souls had to be in reality a tool that functioned almost like a wireless router. Tilarna of course didn’t know what a wireless router was, so it was Matoba who reached that conclusion.

Thinking about it reasonably, there was no way that a human and a cat would be able to control the other’s brain functions or body. Which was why, instead of it being a matter of Tilarna and Kuroi’s bodies changing souls, the most likely explanation was that the magical crossbow served as a common network to which both bodies connected and then were allowed to control the other… or at least that seemed like the most viable alternative.

Which was why, if the connecting device was destroyed, then Kuroi’s “connection” would be lost, and the effects of the “body swap” would be immediately over.

「Basically there was no need for me to freak out and start frantically searching for that crossbow in the first place…」

Muttered Tilarna, feeling completely exhausted

「As long as it broke somehow, Tilarna and I would have returned to our own bodies eventually. If only I had known in the first place, we could’ve ended this without going through all the trouble in the first place…」

Said Tilarna mindlessly, while sipping on some Laite Tea she had brought over from the Semani world.

「I still have a lot to learn. Overlooking something like that as a Mildite. And besides, I started thinking a lot of horrible things on top of that. It’s your fault, for interrupting that man’s execution」
「What are you talking about? You would have been charged with murder for sure if I had let you do anything beyond that. If anything, I helped you out」
「But, that bastard deserved to be murdered. He had to get the death penalty…!」
「Huh? Why?」
「Well because he… my… no, it doesn’t matter」
「Ah… wait…」

Matoba wondered whether he should actually voice his worries, but ultimately decided to do it in a roundabout manner

「You don’t have to… I mean, it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it. But don’t tell me that… it wasn’t just an attempt at…?」
「No! That’s absolutely not it! That’s not what I’m trying to say! You’re wrong!」

Matoba raised both of his arms flustered, as Tilarna almost reached out to grab her Krége.

「Ah… yeah. Okay. I was wrong. Excuse me. Sorry. Yeah. Sorry」
「I’m serious, you’re wrong!」
「I know. Yeah. I was just asking to be sure」
「I’m telling you, you’re wrong! Don’t get the wrong idea!」
「I’m telling you I know. Ah… this is getting completely stupid…」
「You’re wrong! He just looked at me!」
「Ah so it was like that. He looked at you, right, just looked. Don’t worry about it then」
「N- no, it wouldn’t be right to say that it was just that either. In any case you know… it still was important, okay…?」
「Ugh, what a bother…」
「W- what’s a bother?! You should be pissed off! He looked at my butt and, no, in any case, you can at least get a little more angry okay?!」
「And why should I?」
「Just shut up and get mad! You Rakebye!」

Tilarna clenched her fists angrily, and her voice was shaking.

Well, considering how she was dressed, I don’t blame her for wanting to murder that guy.

But more importantly, aren’t we forgetting about something important right now?

「Ah, no wait. I think we forgot about something… now that I think about, what happened to Kuroi and Cecil?」
「Ah」

Tilarna covered her mouth with her hand.

~o~O~o~

Back in a corner of the vehicle dispatch area, Cecil Epps kept embracing a yawning black cat, crying desperately next to the neverending line of garbage trucks.

「I’m sorry, Tilarna…」

I wasn’t able to help you. Despite being your friend.

It’s all over.

This girl is going to have to live the rest of her life as a small black cat. If only I had been a more capable woman. Maybe I would have been able to help her.

「Forgive me, Tilarna. I’m sure you must still be in shock. But you don’t have to pretend to be a cat and run away from reality. Look, this is your phone. Can you please at least talk to me?」

Cecil took out Tilarna’s smartphone. The small black cat looked at it completely unconcerned, and then yawned twice again. It let out a heavy breath, and then curled up again against Cecil’s chest

「Ah…! Hey, Tilarna! Are you mad at me? You can be honest. I really tried my best. Don’t worry, though, I’m going to tell Kei absolutely everything. So please… hey! Just say something!!」
「Nyaa」
「Was that an insult?」
「Nyaa」
「You’re insulting me, right? It’s true that I was in the wrong but… no… I’m sorry. We want to laugh together, right? I’m sure the one who wants to laugh the most right now is you, right? You know? I really respect that side of you… sniff…」

She embraced the black cat tightly. The cat seemed to reply with a sad “nyaa”

Looking at her from the office, Gordon, Powell and the eternal bystander from another office, Maggie, kept whispering.

「No, and it really is a shame. Despite being so beautiful, she seems to be completely insane」

Said Gordon

「I think we just shouldn’t pay any attention to such a suspicious woman」

Said Powell

「That’s exactly why I suspected her from the very beginning. Women like that are never what they claim to be!」

Said Maggie

Cecil just kept embracing Kuroi, and crying while they kept whispering about her.

An hour passed, until Matoba and Tilarna realized what happened and gave her a call. But until then, Cecil kept talking to her cat partner, playing a part in her own terribly tragic melodrama.

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