Chapter 61




             Translator: “Ashita”                             Editor: “Weasalopes”                

Old Lady, the Knight owned by a merchant guild.
I completed the adaptation training as her pilot in several days.
Up next is my very first job, and the Herbivorous Mechanic is having a meeting with the Guild Leaders.
It is probably to decide the job I should be assigned to do.
And because I was told to rest, from this morning, I am at home.

「Time to get moving, I have been doing shelving for a long time now.」

Leaving the Forest Garden, I said to myself while I looking at the herbal tree.
This is a measure against the Elves.
I do not like those bunch but I am fine if I do not get involved with them. I thought this way until recently.
But the situation has changed drastically.
It is Ponytail’s brainwashing caused by the Elves.
Though I have no evidence, there was no mistaking it. I perceived the situation in such a manner.

「What should I do?」

The answer is easy.
To be exact, I will smash their pride into pieces.
Having a sense of being the chosen ones and a superiority complex, those bunch have become human-like. This will probably be the most effective.
I will not do troublesome things such as putting a stop the damage and gathering evidence in a bid for the Kingdom to move.
Committing such a cruel act on a woman who works at a Brothel. That is why I will exact my revenge.
This is the only reason behind my actions.
Thinking up big plans which require me to work even at night without sleeping. I am not even a vessel and in the first place, I do not want to do it.

「How do I crush their pride?」

I ponder over it for a while.
At this point, it is not that difficult to go to them alone and defeat an Elven woman.
However, as the first-ever Human male to make an Elven woman climax, I was granted the title 「The hand that opens doors」.
Their pride would not hurt to such an extent should a titleholder defeat another female once again.

「To be defeated by customers, who are commoners, patronizing them」

I like that.
To be repeatedly defeated by common Human males.
To be sent to heaven by the very people they despise.
That would probably be very humiliating.
My let out a smirk as I was thinking of this.

「What should I do for it to play out this way?」

This is a difficult question.
That is because these are a bunch of complex people. They each have a personality as deep as wells.
It will be extremely difficult for them to be defeated by Humans.

「I will remodel this to be like Sabori where he finishes as he comes」

I put my thoughts into practice.
But it was impossible.
I exaggerated when I said it was a remodel, it was actually not such a big deal.
Attacking via grinding in circles until the opponent gets hooked on it.
In other words, pistoning till she reaches the Pavlov state when she will think 「should I remember this, I would cease being myself」.

「If it is possible to come deep in their ‘Tatami room’, it may then be possible to get them hooked」

Unfortunately, this is impossible.
Humans can only scatter their load at the corridor before this.
I run all over the Forest Garden while pondering over this.
With Imosuke’s divine blessing, I was able to travel in the vegetation without much effort.
I was able to avoid things like grass and thin woods by distorting the space around my body.
As I was unable to come up with any good ideas, I stopped and observed the Forest Garden in order to change gears.

「The fauna sure has grown thick」

I think deeply.
There are no longer only flowers, fruits, and saplings.
There are now mushrooms and vegetables
I am not as happy as I do not cook, but I am certain that those who do would be overjoyed.

「No, I do make Edamame dishes」

I look at the soybean which had grown to look delicious.
They are delicious when you boil them in salt before they ripen.
By the way, soybeans are also a favorite of the Elves.


I had a sudden insight.
The Elven Beans which the Elves love.
There was no need to be fixated on the 「Tatami Room」. Ecstasy can also be obtained by that which is alway closest to you, the entrance hall.
It is always Mother Nature that bestows Humans wisdom.
I gaze at the Forest Garden with gratitude.
I sensed the gaze of Imosuke and Dangurou.
By the way, I try my best to voice my thoughts when I am in the house.
This is because Imosuke and the gang will grow concerned should I ponder speechlessly.

「Umm, I am currently pondering over some matters…」 I say as I look at my familiars.

The soybeans would not have grown without Imosuke. Dangurou probably helped with matters like maintenance.
It can be said that the insight I managed to gain was also due to their hard work.

「Though with all of your help, I have come up with a good idea」 As I say this, I expressed my gratitude.
Imosuke and the gang were happy even though they did not know what was going on.
It seems they are happy that they could be of help.
They are my precious familiars.

Before noon, I settled my brunch by buying a lunch plate from a store in front of my house.
Also, with the party goods I bought from the general store, my disguise is all set. Well, it is only a hair color spray and a fake beard.
Now, I am an attractive middle-aged man with 「loach beard」 and silver-gray hair.
Also, I had excellent reviews from my familiars as seen from their upright feelers.
As for the reason for the disguise, at noon, matching the opening time of 「Elven Store, Froi. Wonderful Elves welcome you」, I would commence my attack.
Before I leave, I gave out instructions to my familiars.

「There is an Abnormal Status Effect Potion (A) here」

I show them the sparkling green potion I took out of my bag.

「When I come back later today, no matter what happens, pour this on me」

This is a measure taken against brainwashing.
From here on out, I am heading towards the battlefield.
I have confidence in victory, but as long as this is a battle, nothing is absolute. I must prepare measures in the event of my defeat.
What I am most fearful of is brainwashing. As long as I live, I am able to get by with injury and disease healing magic

「Completely ignore my orders during that time. Understood? This is an order」

My familiars while nervous, replied that they understood my orders.

「I will be leaving then. I will get them back for all of your sakes too」

There is a huge wave of 「Do your best」 as I leave.
Imosuke’s race, the Wiseman of the Forest, was driven out from the World Tree by the Elves with the reason that they 「ate leaves」
Dangorou the pill bug was persecuted by the Elves as they 「felt unpleasant when looking at him」
The Elves have mountains of unpaid debt. It is now that a high interest should be set and be repaid.
I shut the door at the entrance and headed for downtown.

Along with the opening of the store, I passed by the signboard above me which said 「Elven Store, Froi. Wonderful Elves welcome you」 and headed in.

「Welcome」 The same concierge from before greeted courteously.

As I looked around, I also spotted the same waitress from before.
To me, she was my very first Elven woman.
And she was the one who taught me the fearsome deepness which is the wells of these Elven women.
However, she does not notice me.

(It is unusually serene)

I, a human was the very first man to defeat an Elven woman. It would not be weird if they had marked me.
I had braced myself should my shoddy disguise be seen through easily.
When I looked at the gallery, I saw Soba Juice. As usual, her thick brows are alluring.
She was the one I had once fought and defeated.
As a result, she was branded as 「the very first human-defeated Elven woman」 and was an extreme disgrace to them.
When she met my gaze, she smiled.

(What is this?)

It helps that there isn’t a commotion but for this to go so unexpectedly well is scary in itself as it made me feel that something is up.
For now, I named an Elf except Soba Juice.
I headed to the reception for payment.
I pay in gold today. It is a measure against my identity being exposed by my guild card.
The concierge was going about her job indifferently.
I was certain after seeing this.

(These people do not remember me)

No, saying that they do not remember me is a bad way of expressing this situation.
To the Elves, matters such as a Human receiving a title are the epitome of humiliation.
It feels like instead of not remembering me, they have trouble differentiating between individual Humans.

(It is the same as how we cannot differentiate between individual animals)

I once again felt this firsthand.
To the Elves, Humans are only existences who are on that level.
Burning with fresh fighting spirit, I followed the Elven woman to a room on the second floor.


I look at the Elven woman in front of me.
As usual, she was a beauty.
Thin and gentle, golden long, straight hair.
Pure white skin.
Big round clear eyes and a straight nose bridge.
Straight and thin arms and legs and a high hip. Though her chest is rather flat, that is not a flaw. On the contrary, that is a strength.
From my former world, the only closest match to this was the beauty model for Baltic Three Kingdoms.

(This is poison)

I understand the feeling of getting hooked on her and patronizing her regularly.
The Elves have a wide variety of play repertoires.
Rather than patronizing regularly, there are probably those who had ruined themselves for this.

(…I’m gonna do this)

I gave a pumped myself as it felt I was brainwashing myself even though nothing was being done to me.
And so, my battle began.
While looking at the light circulation and color temperature of Baltic beauty, I began cooking my beans.

(What is this?)

My face contorted.
The Elven Edamame looks like Edamame at first glance but when examining its light circulation and color temperature, it was a with shells.
It was the epitome of hardness. It probably would not bulge even when a car runs them over.
While observing the light circulation, I began massaging the hard shell of the walnut.
I saw no reaction in the light circulation.
I rely on my persistence, thoroughly slow cooking it under a weak fire, diligently continuing my massage.

(Even though she looks like a regular woman, she packs this much defense. As expected of an Elf I should say.)

Even as I wipe the sweat off of my forehead, my fingers do not stop.
Soon, I found an opening in my conquest.
From looking with my magical eye, the shell of the walnut had tens of layers of what could be called thin skin which acted like lamination layers.
It was likely a mechanism acquired as a seed to endure the rubbing of the super long stroke of those who could last long.

(It will be difficult to break the shell)

I glared at the Edamame.

(But if the shell is a lamination layer of thin skins, I should be able to peel it off when it softens after the slow cooking.)

That is the only way.
It will be a treacherous path but my direction is set.
All that is left is to advance fearlessly.
After this, I concentrated solely on slow cooking continuously.
All for the sake of weakening the defenses of the Edamame gained from the shell of the walnut with tens of thin skin.

(Alright, first piece down)

After passing a certain amount of heat through the thin skin, I managed to peel off the first.
It seems like my partner is letting out sweet moans but I knew it was an idiotic act as I understood her level of sensitivity.
It was probably on the level of her heels being touched so she probably does not feel anything.

(Another piece down)

While the bean is boiling, I peel the skin piece by piece. Although I already peeled 20 pieces, it looks like there are still about more than half of that to go.
「So you like it that much」 Baltic woman said, astonished.

(It is not me but you will be. Soon anyway)

Thinking as such, I continued on with my straightforward task.
When I peeled more than fifty pieces, even Baltic beauty could no longer remain calm.
She reacts to every peel of the skin.
Her voice is no longer an act.
She tried to escape when she witnessed what was never done before, but I do not let her do that.
As her arms and legs were long and thin, I was easily able to lock her joints.
Peel, peel.
I peel the skin piece by piece.
The skin becomes thinner and thinner. It has now become a thin skin.
At long last, I peeled off the final skin.
Triumphant, the now huge body began shaking.
I will try blowing it.
She shrieked.

(It is a success)

The Elven Edamame which already had its skin peeled became sensitive to every blow.
A smile appeared on my face. The straightforward task bore fruit.

(Alright, all that is left is to stroke it)

Once I have reached this point, there is only very little work left to do.
Continually stimulating her until she gets hooked on it and never forgets this experience. I will crave this into her very soul until this becomes a conditioned reflex.

(Imosuke, Dangurou and the many men who were deceived by the Elven women. Lend me your strength!)

I now carry their will on my shoulders.

(Here I go!)

I began my tasting session.
This time, I hold the Edamame in my mouth so as to suck on it similar to tasting lollipop, I roll it all over my mouth.
Baltic beauty resisted violently, repeatedly beating my head but I do not let up.
Contrary to that, I increased my suction force with every instance.
Whenever she became violent, the suction force would increase. She probably realized the consequence.
Baltic beauty eventually stopped resisting.

Grind grind grind.

I made plenty of use of my tongue to continually grind the lollipop.
If this was real candy, it would have long stopped melting.
But this is not real candy.
It does melt but it never runs out.
Her shrieking never stops. It gets louder and louder. It has come to a point where it is not a voice let out by a Human-type living being.
But I never stopped grinding until Baltic beauty’s consciousness melted.

(It is done)

On the bed, Baltic beauty had her arms and legs spread out in a way that resembled the 「大」 in Kanji.

(The Elven bean has already became cooked beans)

I struck an imposing pose on the bed and looked down at Baltic beauty.

(I slow cooked it till the heat passed to the very center making it taste soft and sweet)

I looked towards reddish brown cooked bean-chan.

(She should feel ecstasy with even the slightest touch of air.)

I gently blew.
Though her consciousness was long gone, she twitched like that of a grilling squid.
(With this, she should be able to give a warm reception from the bottom of her heart even if the customer is only able to go from the entrance hall to the corridor)

If the customer were to grind near the entrance, the vibration would travel to the cooked bean.
It lies just beside. This results in it not being able to escape from the vibration.
She will probably become ecstatic.
Thinking this, I laid my hands on the Baltic beauty’s butts.

(Ho ho, what is this)

I nod satisfactorily after confirming the Baltic beauty’s color temperature.
The door to the 「Tatami room」 is open. It is wide open like never before. Time to finish this in a way that does not blemish the title of 「The hand which opens doors」.
But what drew my attention the most was the entrance hall.
The Elven bean enshrined at its center was shining in bluish-white.


My eyes narrowed when witnessing its brilliance.
This is a present from me. I would like to cherish the long life of the Elves and live together with them.

(Alright, time to confirm it)

I guide my 「Deva King」 to the entrance hall of the Baltic beauty.
I will not use Monk fist, otherwise known as the Imaginary Extension Cannon.
It is time to determine whether a normal human size can satisfy her.
Grabbing both of her ankles, I send 「Deva King」 which had an imposing pose, to the depths of the entrance hall.
Baltic beauty had put up a huge struggle.
Honestly, all this was shocking to me as I had no idea where all her strength came from.

(As expected of an Elf)

I thought of them in a new light.
But as she struggled, the presence of 「Deva King」 applied pressure on the cooked bean through its strokes.

(Hey hey hey, if this continues, the bean will disintegrate.)

My face darkened and I smiled eerily.
The stimulation of cooked bean-chan calls for the resistance of Baltic beauty which did not think of the consequences. And the stimulation from that calls forth even more resistance from Baltic beauty.
This is literally a vicious cycle.
In the end, Baltic beauty expended all of her energy and stopped moving.
However, her corridor repeatedly reacted on its own even without the will of its owner.
That was like it was trying to engulf and melt 「Deva King」.

(These fearsome Elves)

I thought once again.
That is why the Elves should never be underestimated. The technique which had been forged and inherited over many years activates regardless of the consciousness of the user.
Even if you think you have won, you should never let down your guard until the very end.
While making sure not to let my guard down, I proceeded to check Baltic beauty like that of a normal customer.

(No problem. I would just have to finish this like what I have imagined, no, I will go beyond that)

Even a short stroke to the deep ones now give them an astonishing amount of stimulation.
From analyzing the color temperature, several strokes from a normal person would probably send the Elf woman passing through Heaven’s gate (Heaven’s Door)2.
Also, no matter how exceptional the Elven woman’s technique is, she will find it difficult to satisfy her partner within several tries.
After that, she will need to let go of her conscious and leave it to her conditioned reflexes to satisfy her partner.
Even with a technique that does not rely on consciousness, the Elves would be able to satisfy their customers.
As I critiqued, I too was really enjoying Baltic beauty.

After that, I left in her room without regard for the time remaining and descended to the lobby.
And I nominated the next Elven woman from the gallery.

「Certainly. …Though there is still some time remaining, would this arrangement be fine?」

The concierge had an expression seemingly saying so there is such a commendable customer.
I nodded.
I proceeded to make a payment. After that, I took the hands of the Elven woman and hurriedly headed for the room.
Needless to say, it was a different room.

(…Alright! All done)

Satisfied, I licked the freshly boiled sweetened bean
It took over an hour for Baltic beauty but this time, I got it done in forty-five minutes.
I left the room and nominated another Elven woman.

「…May I ask what were you doing to her?」

The concierge had a grim expression.
She must have noticed the anomaly which is the awakening of Baltic beauty.

「What you ask…Isn’t that obvious」

I made a face which said isn’t that obvious and laughed degradingly.
Thereafter, I pushed through by feigning ignorance.
And I began making sweetened beans once again.

(Alright! I took thirty minutes this time)

I got faster as I got used to it.
This is a good trend.
The reason why I entered soon after the store open was so that I could defeat everyone present.

「I am very sorry but I cannot accept any more nominations from you」

I was rejected by the concierge as I was trying to nominate my next Elven woman.
This was within my expectations. I egged her on.

「Hmm, I see. As expected, it seems like the Elves have it rough with Humans as their partners」

The concierge raised her eyebrows.

「I think that that attitude of them doing their best in Human towns is commendable. However, since the Elves are weak would it not be for your own sakes that you only do business with your own race?」

I said it politely but the contents essentially meant: 「Know your place and return to the countryside where you belong」
Always looking down on others and having the arrogance to one-sidedly reject others. What’s more, their nature as evil as the amount of sympathy they show to others.
This is what the Elves always do.
Hidden behind the concierge’s face was a rising anger.
Normally, these words would cause her to laugh behind the scenes saying, 「This idiot who doesn’t know that he has been deceived」
But today, these words hit its mark.

「To the Elves, fulfilling their customers is an easy feat」
It seems like even though she could handle the insult, she could not handle the humiliation.
The concierge gave me the reply I was hoping for.
Thanks to that, I was able to continue cooking sweetened beans.
It seems like the Elven woman had received some instructions from the store as she was pretty determined.
She was trying to catch on what I was trying to do. At the same time, she was also trying to brush aside the stimulation I was giving her.
But I would like her to spare a moment to think.
Her bean is being boiled in a pot.
No matter how much she struggles as her bean is boiling in the hot water, there is no way she could endure it.
The heat will permeate through and soften it.
After turning the bean into sweetened bean with skills like that of an artisan, I proceeded to prepare the next bean.
The concierge was unable to reject my nomination as she did not want to admit defeat.

(There is lesser people than expected)

I was about to add the finishing touches to the store’s last woman, the waitress.
For a store of this scale, it only has 8 people in the gallery and 1 waitress totaling up to 9 people.
They were probably able to handle the load as the people patronizing the store were easy to please.
Playtime was like resting time to them.
They were probably able to partner up with customers continuously throughout the day.

(Let’s use this opportunity to have a taste)

Other than the very first Baltic beauty, I was only concentrating on cooking the sweetened beans and did not do the tasting.
It should be fine for me to at least taste the final person.

(Also, I have some memories with Waitress)

Waitress was the very first opponent I fought that defeated me.
She was the one who taught me how scary the Elves were.
I can still remember her arrogant smile from that time.

(Let’s get back at her)

I cannot stay defeated.
I suddenly started the invading Waitress.
And I stroked violently.
It was so violent that it may cause disintegration.
Waitress shook her head violently which had hair that had a short cut and boyish features. She also seems to be murmuring something.
However, I paid no heed to such resistance and pleas.
Thinking nothing of my partner, I continually grind to my heart’s content.
In time, my body was filled and my resentment towards the Elves began gathering at the pit of my stomach.
After I spend some ensuring it is condensed, I spouted it out with all my might.
I also shouted loudly.

「Get pregnanttttt!」

She was magically vaccinated, thus she was unable to become pregnant.
However, this feeling of brutality is amazing.
I was extremely satisfied.
Even now as my face with the loach beard resembling 「Ebisu」, I headed for the exit with a light gait.
There, the concierge who wore an expression resembling a demon stopped me.

「Would it be alright for me to get your name?」

This is pretty scary. She has enough pressure to blow away my coldness and sweat.
I gave the name of the elderly instructor at the Pilot School.
The elderly instructor had helped me out on many occasions.
I have no problem with yielding the credit over to him.
Also, they haven’t noticed even after I went this far.
They should not be able to distinguish between the elderly instructor and me.
I quickly took my leave.

(Alright! Here’s the finisher)

It is not over yet, there is still something left for me to do.
I head over to the relatively larger brothel nearby.
By the way, Corneel is the only person I can really call a friend but I have some acquaintances.
In any case, they were people I knew from the brothel I am heading to.
My name as Doctor Slime was pretty renowned allowing me to be influential amongst them.
And they are gentlemen who love to do things that bring joy to others.

「I hear beans are the favorite of the Elves」

I said as I looked at each of them.
Receiving joy from seeing others in ecstasy, they are such good and amiable people, truly befitting gentlemen.
Several amongst them sprang into action immediately.
I hurried to the next brothel and repeated the same words.
Several of the gentlemen headed for 「Elven Store, Froi. Wonderful Elves welcome you」.

(These gentlemen will soon find out that my words are true)

I snickered.
If this happens, everything will cascade.
Rumors call upon more rumors, day after day, there will be lines of gentlemen seeking the cooked beans.

(How entertaining)

To be done in by the very Humans they despise, what’s more, by normal males.

They will guide the Elven women to the stairs of Heaven over and over again.
Their Heaven’s gate (Heaven’s Door) will be open with the power of beans.

No, even before that at the final step before the Heaven’s gate (Heaven’s door), even the Heavens would show its face of ecstasy.
After I was satisfied with my dark and twisted joy, I headed to a stall nearby for my dinner.

That night, I returned home in a good mood as I have managed to exact my revenge on the Elves.

「I’m homeee」 I called out as I opened the door at the entrance.

It is a habit of mine.
And as I turned on the lights and stretched my arms, I was attacked by somebody.


I took a blow to my forehead.
I fainted as I was caught off-guard.

(Was it an Elf?)

The demon-like expression of the concierge appeared in my mind.
I have been had,
Damn it,
Why did she,
Attack here,
Such thoughts arose from within me all at once.
From above, a sparkling green liquid was scattered over me.


Bearing with the pain, I slightly opened my eyes and looked across the dark room.
I then understood everything after seeing the figures of my familiars.

「…You all poured the potion over me. Thanks a lot」

Imosuke and the gang faithfully executed my order and threw a potion as I was returning home. What’s more, it was in the vial.
To be exact, the potion was thrown by Dangurou and after it hit my head, its contents scattered mid-air.

(I had completely forgotten about the order.)

I thought as I cast Injury Recovery (F) on myself.
I was a bit too merry.

(It was extremely painful but I cannot blame Imosuke and the gang)

On the contrary, I probably should praise them.
I praise my familiars.
And after that, I told them about my chastising of the Elves.
I think they were probably overjoyed.
And with this, my long day ended.

[1. 2 long mustaches sticking out from each side like that of whiskers. TL note: To find out more, click here]

[2. TL note: They are the 4 Buddhist Gods of the 4 cardinal directions. To find out more, click here]

[3. TL note: Written as Heaven’s Door read as Heaven’s Gate.]

[4. TL note: The God of Fisherman and Luck, also 1 of the 7 Gods of Fortune. To find out more, click here]




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