Chapter 312: Mountain of Difficult Problems (Household Edition)




Translator: Nat

–Aegir POV–

Celia and I follow Alice out the back door.

Guards are stationed at the rear entrance although they don’t stop her from going out.
Her behavior is suspicious but Alice is my woman. The guards won’t stop any girl who leave my mansion.

「We can’t get any closer?」

Celia silences her footsteps and walks about ten steps behind Alice.
I am following three steps behind Celia.

「If Aegir-sama gets closer than that, she might notice you even in that state.」

I’m a little unhappy about that, but I’ll let it go considering Celia’s cute ass is shaking left and right as she masterfully tails Alice.

Alice walks to the outskirts of the city like she’s drunk.
I was planning to stop her if she crossed the city walls because of the risk of beasts and monsters, though it doesn’t look like she is going to.

「What kind of business does she have in such an empty place? There’s only grass here.」

She stayed within the city walls, but the place she went to is an empty space where buildings haven’t been built yet.

When Adolph was planning for the walls of Rafen to be built, he made sure to allocate a fairly large area for the city in order to prevent any inhibitions to future developments.

The current population within Rafen is approximately 30 000, plus the commuters going back and forth to other areas to work abroad or conduct trade and even the refugees I brought back with me are housed within the city, yet there still looks to be plenty of space remaining.

「Is this a place she planned to have a secret meeting at? It’s shameless to do so during the day, but there aren’t too many eyes watching here.」

Celia comments in a rather annoyed tone.

「We’ve done it countless times in these empty places before. There was one time where a guard spotted us in the act, if I recall.」
「Forget about that already!」

Still, what should I do if a guy really shows up?
I don’t think I can accept Alice sleeping with another man.
I guess I’ll capture the man and fuck Alice in front of him to steal her back.

「She stopped.」

Alice stopped moving.
That patch of grass…… has a small puddle of muddy water within it.

「That’s a reservoir. Until water can be serviced, water is kept there for convenience. The water quality is quite poor so it would cause anybody who drinks it to have a stomachache. Uuu, it brings back horrible memories.」

Hm, now that the aqueduct is complete, this might not be needed anymore.
Nobody is using this and the rainwater collected here is frighteningly dirty.
The surrounding area hasn’t been tended to so small bugs and weeds are everywhere, making this a rather unsuitable meeting place for two secret lovers.

However Alice’s face melts into a smile as soon as she sees the pond and starts taking off her clothes.

「Aah…… I can’t wait anymore…… haa……」

Alice messily pulls off her clothes, the crouches down with her ass pointing down toward the pond.

「W-what is she doing?」
「If you think normally……」

Her gestures tell me she’s getting ready to defecate.
Is it alright if we keep watching?

「Uu…… coming…… ah…… aaaaaah!!」

As Alice braces her legs, from her ass――


Celia let out a shriek.

It wasn’t excrement that came out of Alice’s ass, it was a bunch of wriggling tentacles.
The many tentacles made wet slimy sounds as they squirmed and fell out from Alice’s asshole.

「Agaaaah! Nnhiiiiih――!!」

Alice looks up at the sky as she expels the tentacles, drool leaking from her lips while she screams.

When eventually everything came out, she makes a low wheezing sound and collapses on the spot.
Looking carefully, I see that she’s continually squirting out love juices.

「It looks like she hasn’t been cheating, though this is another problem.」
「W-what is that!? It’s twisting and turning…… why was that kind of thing inside her body!?」

Oh, Celia hasn’t seen that before.
It resembles the roper I encountered in the Elf forest. So Alice brought it back with her.
With something long and squirming like that, I guess it was a matter of time until Alice stuck it up her ass.

「Anyways, we can’t leave her like this.」

A much thicker tentacle than the ones which came out from Alice’s ass extended up from the murky pond.

「Ah! Aauuuuu!」

The tentacle is entering Alice’s asshole.
I don’t know exactly what intentions it has, but I know for a fact that an unknown object is penetrating my woman.

「I’m not going to let something take my woman away right in front of my eyes. I’ll pull that dirty thing out.」

I stop hiding and jump out in front of Alice.

「Aegir-sama! T-this is…… not what you think!」

Alice hurriedly tries to pull out the tentacle from her asshole once she sees me, except it isn’t that easy.
It looks like the stimulation was too strong, causing her to become powerless and the tentacle to bury itself deeper into her hole.

「I’ll listen to your explanation later. Right now, I’ll get rid of this……」

I grab the tentacle sticking out of Alice’s ass and pull on it with great force.


As the tentacle slides out, I see that it already went in about a meter.
The sliminess of the tentacle and Alice’s intestinal fluids mix together, making it easy for me to pull the tendril out.

「Almost there. Endure it.」

「I can’t, it feels too good…… I’m going crazyyy……」

I hold down Alice as she bends backwards and lets out an animalistic growl, pulling out more of the tentacle.


The final tip, which was thicker than the other parts, gets pulled out.
Tears, snot, urine, love juices, stomach fluids and all kinds of liquids leak from Alice as she passes out.

「Celia, lower Alice.」

「Right, uwah look at her face.」

She is repositioned to face toward the pond again.
The angry ropers wriggle inside the dirty pond after seeing their girl stolen away.
I’m going to borrow the one-handed sword on Celia’s hip, although I’m unsure if I can cut these things knowing how hard it was the first time I faced them.

「I have to do it though. This is punishment for messing with my woman. I’ll kill all of them……」

Before I could slash at them, a shadow appears over the pond.
I look up on reaction and see something covered in red sturdy scales, then realize it was Pochi, Pipi’s giant pet lizard.
That reminds me, Pipi was searching for it. I wonder where it went.

「I’m busy right now. Let me clean these things up, and then I’ll take you on, so move it.」

Before I left for the Federation, it was about the same size as me, but now it’s twice that size.
Its face has also gotten scarier, meaning the maids in the mansion will get even more frightened.
Not to mention it can fly now so it’s going to be quite hard to look after this thing.

I feel like I’ve seen something similar to Pochi before, but maybe it’s just my imagination.
There’s no way I could have seen anything like this giant flying lizard.

Pochi looks back and forth between me and the squirming ropers in the pool, then lets out a growl.
Is it asking whether I’m defeating those things?

「That’s right. They’re giving me some trouble so I can’t pay attention to you right now.」

Pochi then inhales deeply and opens his mouth toward the pond.

Red flames accompanied by a fierce roar, burst out from Pochi’s mouth.
The fire licks the ground surrounding the pond.

「My…… squirming……」

When the flames stop coming out, everything in the area was turned into a sea of fire.
The water in the pond boils and the ropers writhes until they eventually wilts away.

Pochi sticks out its chest proudly.
Looking at the beast now, its face appears quite dignified and a strange crest is on its forehead.
Right now, that stuff isn’t important.

「Stupid! Quell the flames now!」

I wanted to exterminate those things, but now everything got covered with flames.
The blast was so powerful that the green grass containing the water is also burning.
Even though this is a vacant area, unchecked fire will eventually turn into a huge blaze.

「Awawa! It’s burning over here too!」

Celia quickly stomps the ground to put out the fire.
Pochi uses its large body to smother the flames. I guess it doesn’t find the fire hot.

「Hey! Look at all that smoke!」
「There’s a fire! It’s burning in the empty space to the northeast. Sound the alarm!!」

Eventually, a bell starts to ring from a certain place, bringing guards and onlookers in our direction.

「Looks like we don’t have to worry about extinguishing the fire. Alice is also saved for the most part.」
「Uuu…… Myla-san is going to be so mad.」

Pochi hangs its head sadly.
Regardless of the result, this guy helped us.
It would be tough for its reunion with Pipi to start by being reprimanded.
I lightly pat the beast’s lowered head.

「Well, I’ll hide the fact you were the one who caused the fire. Go and get spoiled by Pipi.」

Pochi lifts its head happily.

「T-then how are we going to explain the source of the fire?」

I’m thinking, Celia.

「How about this, I was doing it outside with you and Alice and it was so intense that it caused a fire.」
「That’s ridiculous!」


「I see.」

I enquire Alice regarding the circumstances of the incident and get a general understanding.

Alice brought a cut-off piece of the roper’s tentacles back from the Elf forest and was keeping it in a pot.
Having that tentacle squirm around inside her ass apparently feels really good.

As the tentacle gradually grew bigger, the pleasure also increased, and she couldn’t defy it any longer.
When she couldn’t hide it in her room, Alice would carry that tentacle in her body and go to that pond.

Since then, she would go every night to submerge her body in that pond and enjoy having the tentacle stir her up.
After maturing, the tentacle repeatedly multiply itself by leaving immature tentacles inside Alice’s ass and letting them grow a certain amount before getting expelled into the pond.

「Gosh, your love of ass-play stressed me out. I thought for sure you were swallowing the cock of another man.」
「……I won’t cheat. The tentacle isn’t cheating.」

That’s hard to call, but there’s not point worrying about it after the fact.
Besides, I’m at fault for leaving Alice alone too.

「It doesn’t feel right losing to a mere tentacle. I’m going to dig into your asshole now.」

「I’m looking forward…… ooh!」

She is currently laying face down on the bed, her asshole stuffed to the brim with my member.

Her anus was developed well due to her frequent tentacle usage and is wide enough to easily swallow my rod.

「Being so stretched out, you would think it would be leaking.」

「It’s fine for some reason, I guess because the tentacle trained it in a strange way.」

Thinking like that, it might have been a waste to burn all those things up.
I’ll enjoy the asshole that roper so desperately trained.
In a broad sense, I got my woman stolen from me.

「Keep moving…… harder……」
「Ooh, right. This is no time to get philosophical.」

I grab the flesh of Alice’s ass and slam my hips hard against her.
Other girls would not only get get anal fistula, their assholes would tear.


However Alice just moans happily.
While thinking that she’ll have great trouble when it comes time to make babies despite having such a wonderful ass, I vigorously discharge my semen into Alice’s colon and return her ass to normal.

Incidentally, the excuse made up for the source of the fire was believed by everyone and it created strange rumors about me.
It also became one of the seven mysteries of Rafen.

Courtyard. Dense Heaven.

「Look at this.」

I came to the courtyard after Lammy calls me and see a scene that resembles a part of the Elf forest.
Undergrowth covers the entire ground and plants have spread all over the yard…… so much so that I’m not sure where I can step.

「This is incredible. It looks more like a forest than a garden at this point.」

According to Rita, it takes more unnecessary work for the maids to dry the laundry because they can’t air it out in the yard.
By the way, I asked Lammy to take care of the plants in the courtyard.

「I didn’t say you had to keep it perfectly trimmed, but you could have cleaned it up a little more, don’t you think?」

Lammy looks at me unhappily and then pulls out one weed.

「Then have a look at this!」

The root of the weed she pulled out is shaped like a tiny human.
Acting surprised after it was pulled out and letting out a soft squeal, the human-like figure wiggles about before escaping Lammy’s hand and crawls back into the hole it came from.

「Don’t tell me, all of them are like that?」

To test my theory, I touch a small plant that is as tall as my waist.

It squeals in response and the stem splits apart, revealing a small human-shaped figure in the middle.

「That girl from before…… actually she withered up soon after Aegir departed. I thought it was going to be lonely for a while…… and then not even a week later, plants started to grow all over the place.」

Most of the plants which grew rampantly and turned the garden into a dense forest are apparently the alraunes.

「It propagated this much…… I’m surprised nobody got hurt.」

This plant secretes digestive fluid on its prey before eating them.
I tried my best to teach and train it, but it’s going to be hard to give all of them an education.

「About that. Could you fetch some water?」

Lammy suddenly speaks to one of those little plants.
That individual plant smiles and doesn’t move, while another plant further away and close to the well swells up after drawing the water.

「These little guys are not connected to each other, but they’re apparently all part of the same plant. Teaching one of them is equivalent to teaching all of them.」

「I see…… which means-」

I take a look at one of the human-shaped…… human-imitating parts.

The humanoid figure is already created elaborately enough that it looks like a human dyed in the green plant color.
Overall the size of the body is small, however its breasts and holes are perfectly recreated to imitate a human female’s body.
It remembers well that I said to copy a person’s body.

「This is incredible.」

When I praise it, the bodies of the plant all throughout the courtyard happily sway side to side, making soft rustling sounds.

「It’s true that the plants are in the way though. Laundry can’t be dried and nobody can play out in the garden.」

This time, all the plants seem to droop.

「It’s too dense. It can’t get enough sunlight or nutrients like this.」

It needs to be replanted somewhere else.

「Oh yeah, the area around the city walls is quite barren.」

The part adjacent to and within the walls does not have any residential or important structures for safety reasons.
Other than the place near the gates, there was no need for the ground to be levelled either so it was left alone as rough ground.
If the girls are planted here, I think it might look pretty good.

「The sound of rustling leaves is calming……」

As Lammy makes her comment, the foliage in the garden shakes.
When there are this many plants rustling altogether, it might be too noisy, but I’ll keep quiet.

「If flowers bloom during the warmer seasons, Mel and Maria would probably be happy.」

With mention of that word, the alraune seems to tremble and then soon after a cute yellow flower sprouts out.

「If it bears fruit, the citizens will be happy too.」

The alraune starts trembling again and then a fruit falls down with a plop.
When I pick it up, the rainbow-colored fruit moves strangely.
……is it safe to eat this?

「The problem is if there’s a fire and it spreads to the walls.」

The alraune takes the water sucked up from the well and spits it out.
It seems to be saying it can extinguish the fire..

「If a scoundrel wants to run away, he can climb…… no, probably not.」

The alraune whacks the ground with a branch.

Then I think there shouldn’t be a problem.

「Let’s re-plant it quickly. We’ll get workers to start the work tomorrow.」

However the alraune shakes its head.
So it dislikes being transplanted after all?

In the next moment, all the alraunes pop out of the ground and starts walking by using their roots as legs.

「I see, how skilled. If it can walk by itself, workers aren’t needed.」

Plants the size of a large tree to the size of a dandelion line up in a row and start walking in an orderly fashion――

「Wait, marching in broad daylight will cause panic in the city! Do it at night.」

And so the alraune moved from the courtyard to the area along the city walls, returning the garden to its pristine state.

The sudden appearance of vegetation near the walls also became one of the seven mysteries of Rafen.

In the end, only a single alraune about as tall as me was left in the garden.
Also a smaller plant was put in a flowerpot in my room.
Maybe it wants to stay close to me or Lammy? What a cutie.

「Heey…… concentrate.」
「Sorry, sorry.」

I embrace Lammy in her small hut, with the alraune also participating.
The garden is peaceful once again.

Incidentally, Casie spotted the moving girls and freaked out.
When she continually recited an evil spirit removal spell she learned from somewhere, she started to fade away, so she hastily stopped.

Felteris Trial.

「We will now begin the trial!」

As I sit in languidly, Myla sends me a harsh gaze.
Rita and Sebastian are also here, as well as Nonna who sits beside me.

「The accused, Felteris! Charged with the crimes of lewdness, perverted behavior, and sexual misconduct with minors!」
「How humiliating!」

「What the heck is this?」

I laugh.
How can lewdness be considered a crime? You should thank a woman for being naughty, not punish them.

I’m the only one who laughs, meanwhile Myla, Rita, Sebastian and Nonna all have serious looks on their faces.
Is it really that bad?

「Aegir-sama, you can’t treat this the same way you do with Catherine-san.」

It makes me tense up when Nonna says that.

「Ahem! The charges…… aah, even reading it makes me feel filthy!」

Myla slams the desk, closes her eyes and begins speaking.

「The first offence! Not only engaging in sexual acts with the workers in the mansion, but also successively luring minors in the city of Rafen to perform sexual misconduct. More than a dozen counts to date, with most of them being virgins!」

「How obscene……」

Nonna hides her mouth with a folding fan.


I laugh.
Who cares? The boys are graduating from being virgins and learning more about women.
No man would mind their first time with a beauty like Felteris.
Try asking any of the boys in question, and see if any of them hold a grudge against Felteris.

「The second offence! Infiltrating a prison!」

That’s something I can’t laugh at. What happened?

「The particulars are……she occupied the jailers’ attention so she can sneak into the prison, then she fainted after being verbally abused by the prisoners, and was gangraped by them.」

「It was on purpose, right?」

Felteris averts her eyes.

「The third offence! She went to the laborers’ inn and insulted them. After that, she willingly took a numbing drug as an apology and was gangraped…… no, allowed herself to be gangraped.」

「It was on purpose, right?」

Felteris looks away.
To begin with, I don’t get the meaning of taking the numbing drug to apologize.
Unless she does a better job, it’s clear as day what she’s trying to do.

「And finally, the fourth offence! Spreading a disease picked up by the indiscriminate sexual acts! By the way, it’s diphtheria, pertussis and tetanus!」

「A disease……?」
「D-dirty! I absolutely won’t let you use the mansion’s bath anymore!」

That makes my shoulders slump.
Nonna’s entire body is shivering with anger.

Sebastian steps forward.

「The mothers of the young men who work at the mansion have come forth to protest.」

I fall flat on the desk.

「Anyways, tell them that I will pay for all the treatment fees. I will also give out compensation for the damages to those affected so tell them not to spread what happened.」

「Very well.」

Sebastian lowers his head.

「Felteris is banned from using the bath until she recovers, also she will be put in a room somewhere and looked after by only females.」

「H-how could you, I’ll go crazy without any penises…… I mean, how humiliating it is to be locked away by a mere human!」

「My apologies. Rumors have already spread throughout the mansion and there are no maids who are willing to take care of her…… to be honest, the maids look at her as if she is excrement.」

Rita chimes in with a troubled face.

「Ask them again, I’ll provide a bonus to their pay. If there are still no takers, in the worst case…… I’ll ask Madam.」

I’d like to avoid that if at all possible.

「So after she gets better, when are you going to chase her out?」

Nonna asks matter-of-factly.

「I haven’t thought of doing so.」

「That’s not good! This is Aegir-sama’s mansion. We have no need for a whore who sleeps with any and all men.」

Sebastian and Rita seem to agree.
I also think Felteris went too far.
But she came from the Elf forest and has no place to go, so I can’t bring myself to chase her out.

「Regardless, the women in the mansion, whether they are family members, lovers, or servants, won’t accept her.」

Hrmm…… this sucks.

However the problem was solved rather easily.
When rumor spread that Felteris will be chased out of the mansion, young male servants, men discharged from prison, and laborers all flocked to us.

「I-I want her to be my wife so she can insult me and spank my ass everyday!」

「She was the one who saved me when I was going to rot in prison and die. I’ve had a change of heart since then! I wanna marry her and play-rape with her everyday!」

「The reason I work so hard to earn money is so I can have a woman like her be my wife. I want to pull her arms back and fuck her in the ass until she cries!」

They’re all such weird people, but they still technically want her.

「H-how vulgar of you pathetic humans! A proud elf like me won’t marry any of you!」

Felteris’s legs squirm restlessly.
I guess happiness comes in many forms.

Protagonist: Aegir Hardlett. 24 years old. Summer.
Status: Goldonia Kingdom Margrave. Great Feudal Lord of Eastern Area. Mountain Legend. Friend of the Dwarves. Friend of the King of Aless. Dragon Slayer Hero.
Elf Mediator. Sex King of White City.

Citizens: 181,000. Refugees: 24,000. Female Prisoners: 9500
Major Cities – Rafen: 29,000. Lintbloom: 5000. Vandolea Special Town: 9000.

Army: 9500 men
Infantry: 5000, Cavalry: 1000, Archers: 800, Bow Cavalry: 500, Temporary Refugee Guards: 2200
Cannons: 26, Large Cannons: 20, Dwarven Cannons: 16, Chariots: 10
Reserve Army: 2000
Security Unit: 150

Nonna (legal wife), Carla (concubine), Mel (concubine), Miti (concubine), Maria (concubine), Catherine (concubine)
Melissa (lover), Kuu (lover), Ruu (lover), Mireille (lover), Pipi (lover)
Casie (fading), Rita (head maid), Yoguri (playwright), Alice (ass lover), Leah (lover)
Marceline (lover), Daughters – Stephanie (lover), Bridget (lover), Felicie (lover)
Natia (researching medicine), Sofia (lover), Sekrit (free)
Sebastian (butler), Dorothea (capital mansion supervisor), Claudia (ball), Clara (female attendant)

Brynhildr (vampire), Lammy (garden caretaker), Alraune (migrated), Mirumi (mermaid)
Pochi (giant flying flame lizard), Messerschmitt (worthless dog), Schwartz (horse), Felteris (STD)

Celia (justifying), Myla (reprimanding), Marta (aide), Irijina (commander), Luna (commander), Ruby
Gido (escort unit), Polte (refugee case worker), Gretel (domestic affairs assistant, betrothed)
Leopolt (mobilized dispatch of troops), Adolph (hairless), Tristan (exhausting work)
Claire & Laurie (official merchant), Lilian (lobbying), Kroll (babymaking), Alma (babymaking)

Assets: 95,300 gold (treatment cost, solatium for 50 young men -150)
(Grant Money –unopened)
Sexual Partners: 505, children who have been born: 66 + 555 fish




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