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Volume 4 Commemorative Story

 

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Translator: Nat

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Before the Start of War with South Yuguria――

That day, accompanied by Celia, I took a long trip beyond the outer walls of Rafen.

「Could you slow down a little more?」

「Ah, my apologies. I was going about as usual……」

Celia reins in her horse, gradually aligning with me.

「It’s fine. It’s all that horny horse’s fault.」

I’m not riding Schwartz this time, instead I borrowed one of the warhorses kept in the garrison.
And so it’s natural that I’d be slower due to our differences in weight.

「It’s still daytime. The weather is also nice, let’s take it easy.」

Celia grins, her horse side-by-side with mine.
Mentally, I’m telling myself that it’s the always-cute Celia, but she has really gotten prettier.
Her hair has also grown longer, emphasizing her maturity.

As I walk with those thoughts running in my mind, I finally come across a thin streak of smoke in the clear blue sky.
When I strain my eyes, I see a group of people has set up a campfire at the entrance of a small forest.
There are about 20 people and several wagons piled with gunny sacks parked nearby.

「A caravan? So far from the highway? ……mumumu.」

Celia’s brow furrows and her eyes narrow.
It certainly is strange for a caravan to stray this far from the road.
They don’t look like bandits, maybe they are smuggling illegal goods or slaves.

「Heeey.」

I prepare myself for the slim chance it could be what I suspected while waving my hand and calling out to them.
In response, they wave back with a surprised look on their faces.

Upon getting closer, I see dismantled deer and rabbits hanging over the fire.
Is that why they were next to the forest?

「What are you doing out here~? And bringing along such a beauty too……」

Inquiring is a young man, who likely doesn’t recognize me.
His voice doesn’t sound wary or like he’s trying to hide anything, it’s genuinely curious.
Also, he’s staring way too much at Celia.

「We were taking a trip from Rafen. I’d like to ask you what you’re doing so awfully far from the road.」

That’s when the young man’s face clouds up.
He seems hesitant to speak and is looking at the others for input.

「Mu, he’s acting suspiciously!」

Celia leaps off her horse, spinning once in midair before landing, and then approaches the wagon.

「Hey now, that’s our precious cargo, please don’t touch it.」
「It’d be problematic if the bag breaks, you see~」

My body tenses up slightly when Celia is stopped, but it doesn’t appear like they are trying to hide anything.

While all that’s going on, a middle-aged man, urged by the other members of the group, comes up to us.
He’s ugly and has a pot belly, but he doesn’t look malicious. He’s probably the leader of the caravan.

「Good grief, we were having a feast――geh!?」

The middle-aged man seems to recognize my face and gasps.
I stop him when he tries to bow, telling him it’s unnecessary.

「Y-you guys, cut it out!」

Giving the group a side-eye as they comply with the middle-aged man’s unusual tone of voice, Celia hops on the cart and pokes around.

「I’m not saying you did anything wrong. It’s just that for such a large caravan to be in such a dubious location ――with Rafen in front of you, it’s unnatural.」

Although wagons travel at the same speed as a person walking on foot, they could have reached Rafen in half a day.
The normal course of action would have been to stop at Rafen and have a party at a bar.

「You’re right. But it’s not like we’re carrying prohibited goods.」

「T-this powder……needs to be examined!」

Incidentally, Celia happens to open a hole in one of the bags.
Spilling out is a white grain-like substance……which makes Celia’s eyes sparkle.

「We are a salt caravan. We came, not to sell rock salt which you can find anywhere, but to sell first-class powdered salt.」

「Kuh……salty. ……ugh, I thought it was sugar.」

I see, the salt certainly does look as fine as sugar.
Celia’s face distorted after she gave it a lick.

「However, a day before we arrived, a large salt shipper came to Rafen with 50 wagons.」

Now that he reminds me, a line of carts from the Claire company did arrive yesterday.

「Even if the quality is different, it’d be hard to do business on the heels of an influx of such a massive quantity of salt into the market. And so we thought to wait a few days and kill some time out here. We figured stopping next to the road would inconvenience others and start up bad rumors, so we distanced ourselves.」

「Peh peh! It’s salty……you could have stored the salt in a warehouse in Rafen……」

Celia returned, not finding anything suspicious.

「Warehousing costs are not cheap for medium-sized merchants like us, and if the wholesaler finds out that we have unsold salt, we will not make our money back, so it is meaningless.」

I don’t know much about merchants, but they definitely don’t have it easy.

「Nevertheless, it’s a good thing we noticed. Coming all this way just to have the price low is not very rewarding.」

A girl who seems to be in charge of handling miscellaneous tasks for the caravan also brings me a cup of alcohol.
Celia furrows her brow.

「Our caravan has a strong ally. You might not believe it.」

The middle-aged man’s gaze points to an old woman.
She seems to be very old, her eyes appear unable to see and her legs are so thin that she is unable to stand.
Two men carefully feed her her food.

「You might say this old lady isn’t anything special, but elder Gloro can predict the future. She advised us to delay our arrival to Rafen.」

「Hahaha.」

I couldn’t help laughing at the man’s statement.
They wouldn’t have any troubles if that was possible.

As if in response to my loud laughter, the old woman slowly walks over while being supported by her arms.
She is so frail that I’m afraid she could die at the slightest stimulation.

On sight of me, the old woman’s milky eyes widen.
Hey now, I don’t believe in her ability, but I better not be told that I’m going to lose my dick tomorrow.

「Something peculiar――will happen!」
「Elder Gloro! Telling that to the feudal lord-sama……」

「Pfft.」
「Hahaha, that’s so vague.」

Even I can make a prediction like that.
Sometime tomorrow I’ll go to the washroom, and Celia will wet her pants sometime this year.
I retort with a smirk, dismissing her ambiguous claim entirely.

「I can’t tell anything if you simply say something peculiar. What will happen specifically?」

The old woman doesn’t seem fazed by our mocking attitude, she just points inside the forest.

「There is a desolate shrine beyond this forest. In it houses an ancient God of games and amusement……」

「Eeh.」

I gulp down my alcohol and listen half-heartedly as I rub the chore girl’s butt.

「Upon finding the shrine, you will trip once. The way you fall will be the God’s revelation, and the more extreme it is, the more peculiar the result――」

「Interesting. I’ll check it out.」
「Eeeh!? It’s dangerous.」

I run toward the forest without letting the elder finish.
Celia is worried, but the forest is small and isn’t very dense.
Rafen is also nearby, there won’t be any bandits or formidable monsters inside.

「Peculiar and odd it may be, it is a revelation. And your wish will be granted――」

And so, we pushed through the forest.

「There it is.」
「Wah, it’s true.」

We found the shrine at the end of an animal trail that I followed intuitively.
It’s no bigger than the size of Celia’s ass and can easily be mistaken as a stone because of the untamed moss growing all over it.

「It’s a little scary.」

I’m actually more intrigued after hearing the old woman’s story.
In the first place, how did someone who can’t see notice such a small shrine?

「Let’s turn back, Aegir-sama. I’m getting chills.」

Goosebumps form on Celia’s nape and her hair stands on end.

「I guess there’s nothing else to do but go back.」

I’m not religious enough nor do I have the leisure to start cleaning up the shrine.

「But since we came all this way.」

I place the cup I’m holding in front of the shrine.
It’s……only 20% percent, but it’s better than nothing.
Besides, if this is the shrine of the God of games, it should understand a joke.

「Hm?」

I thought I saw the shrine glow when I set down the cup.
I do a double-take and don’t find anything, maybe it was my imagination……wait, the cup is empty now.
Whatever.

「I’ll support your back! I’m sure something strange will happen if you fall.」

Celia is so devoted it’s cute.

I shout out to the caravan in passing after exiting the forest and return to Rafen.
By the way, Celia timidly asked the old woman about her future only to get the response of “you’ll piss yourself sometime in the near future” and got angry.

That’s when I hear a familiar voice and the sound of hooves.

「Aegir~ what are you doing here~?」

It was Carla, who was riding on Schwartz.
She has a bow strapped around her shoulder, and two rabbits and a bird hanging from her waist.

「Just taking a stroll. Carla, you went hunting?」

「Yeah. The weather’s nice and I haven’t exercised lately. Ah, sorry. I took Schwartz without asking.」

Two unhappy sighs are let out as Carla and I approach each other.
It was Celia sighing at Carla and Schwartz huffing at me with a nasty glare for getting in between him and Carla.

「While we’re at it, why don’t we go for a ride? Let’s exchange horses.」

Carla and I swap mounts to the utmost displeasure of Schwartz, who unnecessarily speeds up.

「Hey, look forward. It’s not my fault if you break your leg, but when I’m riding――」

I don’t have a chance to finish my sentence.

Schwartz’s leg steps on a mossy rock that is somehow wet, despite these last few days being sunny, and slips, causing his entire body to float in the air.
Because Schwartz was also galloping quite quickly, his momentum sent him tumbling so his back hit the ground first.

「Guooh!!」

And being on his back, I was also thrown off, spinning in midair three times before crashing to the ground and sliding directly into a rock.

「Kyaa!」
「Aegir-sama!」

Celia and Carla rush over to check on me.
Naturally, I’m dizzy.

Schwartz awkwardly gets up, then snorts as he walks off in the other direction.

「Shitty horse, I’ll turn him into mince meat.」

I spank the horse’s ass, cursing under my breath, and then check my foot before getting on his back.

「……that was……a spectacular fall.」

Celia mutters nervously.
What’s she talking about, I can’t remember because I bumped my head.

It was the next day when I remembered what the old woman said.
The reason was simple, I became Rita when I woke up.

「……fumu.」

I stand in front of a mirror, admiring the curves of the female body that can be seen through the white negligee I’m wearing.

I lean in towards the mirror.
The face in the reflection is pretty to look at, although a neutral expression gives off a prominent harsh impression.
The eyes and eyebrows are different than how they usually are.
I guess it’s because no makeup was done to them,

Next, I try holding my breasts.
They’re a nice size and beautifully shaped. And my skin is spotless.

「Alright, now the most important part……」

I roll up my negligee and stick out my ass.
It’s big. That’s the first word that comes to mind.
It isn’t big because I’m fat, rather it’s naturally large.
The overwhelming presence jiggles in the mirror.

「Also, what’s with this underwear? Fufufu, Rita, you naughty woman.」

The underwear I’m wearing is black and doesn’t cover up much.
In particular, the back is as thin as a string and digs into my ass crack.
I can’t see any hair while wearing this underwear, meaning Rita must keep herself nicely trimmed.

「Hmm, I’m lusting……」

Normally, I’d push Rita down, take off her underwear and fulfill my desires, but I’m her right now.
It’s not like I can have sex with myself.

「Rita-sama, it’s almost time for the morning gathering――w-what are you doing?」

A maid enters the room following a polite knock.

「It’s nothing.」
「Eh, Rita-sama?」

I answered how I usually do to the surprise of the maid.
Crap, I guess I have to imitate how Rita talks.

Mmm, I can’t remember the way she talks.
I’ll have to do my best.

「Do not mind me. I will be there soon.」
「Eh……u-understood.」

I think I managed to pull it off.

Thus began my day as Rita.

First is the cleaning of the mansion.
It goes without saying that the floor and windows are cleaned, and I carefully wipe the dust and soot off the candle stands and chandeliers in the corridor, and I also brush in between the gaps of an ornament which Nonna bought.

「I don’t think about it, but the reason the mansion is always sparkling is due to the maids’ efforts, huh.」

Further, I can understand how the shiny candle stand Nonna bought and the decorative vase can get in the way.

「Rita-sama~ Please help with this~」

A pathetic plea brings me back to my senses.
I notice that a maid is trying to move a large ornament.

Rita, being the head maid, is supposed to simply give instructions, but her own name is listed on the schedule, so I’m guessing she has to also manage the other maids while working on the site.

「Right, leave it to me.」
「Eh?」

I wave off the maid with a hand and place my hands on the object.

「Guwah!」

However, I experience a heavy force unlike I’ve ever felt, which causes the ornament to squish me onto the floor.
What kind of vase is this……wait, this is because I have the arm strength of a woman.

「Kyaa! Everyone, Rita-sama’s in trouble! Hurry, help her!」
「For Rita-sama to let out a voice that sounds like a frog, this is a serious matter!」

All the maids crowd around and desperately try to lift the vase.

「Fuu……it’s not broken. Thank goodness.」
「Pst pst……don’t you think Rita-sama is acting strange today? She isn’t wearing any makeup and the way she talks is odd.」
「She can’t use a mop either. And for a while now, she’s been staring only at our butts……pst pst.」

Not good, they’re finding faults.
Let’s do another job.

Next is laundry.
A big pile of dirty articles fills a tub.

「Urk……there’s so much. It’s going to be hard work.」

A maid, who seems new, grumbles.

「What are you talking about? In a normal mansion, there would be three times the load. Plus, in our laundry room, all you have to do is pull the plug, there’s not much physical labor required and it gets done in no time……ah! That dress needs special detergent.」

I don’t want to wash men’s underwear so I’ll select only the female clothing.

「Oh, are these panties Celia’s? Fufufu, pretty risque if you ask me.」

「R-Rita-sama?」

Oops.
Alright, next job.

I continue to perform various tasks as Rita and all I could feel was the deep trust the maids have in her.

Naturally, I’m asked job-related questions, but more than that, I also had to deal with household issues, financial troubles and matters of love――I even get consulted about subjects which are hard to bring up to others.
I can clearly tell their level of trust in Rita.

I constantly screw up jobs because I’m in her body, yet the maids don’t get irritated or angry.
They just worry that something is wrong. I’m sure it’s because things usually go smoothly.
I’m glad that one of my women is this trusted.

As I turn to move on to another job, something falls out of my maid uniform’s pocket.

「Is this her schedule?」

The notepad has the schedule on it with more details than I can count written down.
Most are work-related, but I also find a section marked as ‘half-day off – eat with friends’.

「The date is――today at noon? Isn’t that soon?」

I can’t neglect this and create a rift in Rita’s relationships.
I’ll go, even though I’m the one inside Rita.

I call out to a nearby maid.
She’s relatively young, probably in her late teens.

「Apologies, I’ll be taking half a day off. I’m going out, please take care of the rest.」

「Yes. I was told last week. ……kyaa! Fuee!?」

I give her butt a quick pat and then depart for the city.

「Ah, Rita-san! Over here~」
「Sorry for calling you in the middle of work. I wanted to see you no matter what.」
「Long time no see.」

When I enter the shop written on the schedule, I am greeted by familiar faces.

The first thing I recall is the Arkland War.
In the city of Datrohn, where I first met Rita, there were other maids who were tyrannized along with her, by the pig feudal lord……three of them are in front of me.

「It’s been a while.」

I smile back and try not to act unnatural as I take my seat.

「Pfft, Rita, you’ve changed. You’re able to say a joke like that now.」

「And your clothes and impression……it’s amazing that you’re the head maid of such a grand mansion.」

The three speak in a friendly manner.
Either it’s been a long time since they reunited with Rita or the conversation livened up enough that none of them point out flaws or miscues in my acting.

Eventually the topic switches to how they are currently doing.

「It’s not like we can match Rita, who has secured her spot as Hardlett-sama’s lover.」
「But we’re also living a decent life.」
「Mufufu.」
The four of us drink and chat energetically.

「My husband’s a commander in Goldonia’s army! It’s not the highest ranking position, but the pay is good……and most importantly, he’s handsome! Since being freed, I’ve been with a few men, but none were as great as my current husband.」

As the somewhat attractive but malicious-looking woman boasts, the other two chime in.

「In the end, it’s all about looks and money for you, huh. Impure, oh so impure!」
「You really went way too overboard! For some time, you changed your lover every month!」

I laugh genuinely at the comments.

「My relationship with my husband is pure~ He’s the son of the landlord of a rural town though~ I wasn’t thinking of marriage at the time and he kept proposing to me……and I finally gave in~」

When the gentle-looking woman speaks fondly of her husband, the other two wave their empty plates dismissively.

「Ah, yes yes. How many times have you told us? Your husband loves you too much.」
「Recently, wasn’t he so worried about you that he came to Rafen pretending to start a vegetable stand?」

She looks pleased about that.
They aren’t my women, but I’m glad I saved them.

「I……」

「「You’re the most wicked!!」」

The moment the tall voluptuous girl opens her mouth, the other two strike her head.

「Tell us how old your boyfriend is!」
「Explain the details of how he became your lover~」

I would also like to hear more.

「Err, he is 14 right now……12 years younger than me. He’s a boy who lived in the neighborhood……and suddenly paid me a visit at night」

「You lie. You dressed provocatively everyday and he finally exploded! Didn’t you tell us previously?」

「Even though he was the one who snuck into your bed, somehow you got on top and milked him until morning, didn’t you!? You were so proud of it.」

What an enviable situation for that kid.

The woman in question chugs the remainder of her alcohol after covering her face briefly, then raises her voice.

「That’s right! I love cute boys before they become adults! I lifted my short skirt everytime I greeted him, leaned forward to show him my cleavage and seduced him! The trumpet was blaring in my head when he pounced on me. I told him not to make a sound……it’s this sexy lady’s fault! I mean, I couldn’t help it, squee!」

Everyone is slightly drunk and the atmosphere is at its peak.
Although each has different circumstances, they all seem happy.

After laughing for a while, the clamor dies down.

「It’s about time to go.」
「Yeah.」
「Okay~」

The four of us walk out of the bar.
We leave the bar area, pass through the market and arrive at a cemetery.

「Here Rita, only you know the rest.」

What does she mean?
Grasping at straws, I check the schedule and realize what she’s referring to.
Written clearly on the notebook in dark handwriting is the name and place.

「This way.」

Shortly after, we reach our destination where there are two tiny but tidy stone markers decorated with flowers.
They are the graves of a male and a female.

A ring is placed on the grave of the man and bone fragments are on the grave of the woman’s grave.

「You traveled pretty far~」
「You didn’t want to stay in Datrohn after all.」
「You’re the first one to get married.」

I was going to pour alcohol over both graves, but it would be weird to do so on the woman’s grave, so I poured water instead.

「Sorry I couldn’t save you.」

Those words unconsciously left my lips.

「Alright. Let’s go drinking again――」

That’s when a maid comes running uncharacteristically.
She is calling out Rita’s name repeatedly. Is there some kind of trouble?

「Let’s go drinking tomorrow. This time, we’ll take our time starting from morning……no, why don’t you stay for three days straight so we can party? We can also visit the grave once more.」

「Eh? But we already decided where to stay……what about the inn fees?」

I grin broadly.

「I will――I mean, Hardlett-sama will take care of it. If I ask him, he’ll handle it.」

The women gasp in astonishment.

Looking at the schedule, I’m sure Rita was also excited to meet her friends.
It’d be a shame if they left while I was in her body.
Now that I know how hard Rita works, I’ll do whatever I can to accommodate her.

I introduce them to the Hard-boiled Pavilion and leave gallantly, meeting up with the maid who rushed over.

When I returned to the mansion, I heard a man’s angry shout from the reception room.

Its owner is a young well-built man, who is a bit smaller than me.
Kneeling prostrate before him is……the maid I told about my half-day off.

「For a newcomer to spill tea on the guest……」

「Yes, I understand.」

It’s more like the tea was poured on his head.
Worse, the guest’s clothes are stained white.

「You bitch――!! How much do you think these clothes cost……no, more importantly, a lowly maid splashing tea on a knight baron like me is like smearing mud on my honor! How are you going to make up for this, huh!!?」

His real intentions have risen to the surface.
Well, we are the ones at fault so we should be the ones to compensate him.

I step in front of the man with long strides, and lift the kneeling maid up.
The maid, seeing my――no, Rita’s face, visibly breathes a sigh of relief.

「And who are you!? I’m not finished talking to her!」

I tilt my head slightly.

「I am the head maid, Rita. I apologize for any inconvenience this incident caused you. The Hardlett household will compensate you accordingly, so I ask for your forgiveness.」

I don’t know what manner of speaking to use at this point, but that should be good enough.

「Don’t use that strange dialect, countryside bumpkin! Besides, I don’t expect a mere head maid like you to be able to state her opinion to Lord Hardlett! That man is truly frightening! When I met him on the battlefield, I almost peed myself!」

That kind of information is unnecessary.
I said you’ll be repaid, so you just have to believe me.

「Anyway, it’s my wounded honor that matters more than my clothes! How will you fix that!?」

He must be referring to when the maid tripped and embarrassed him by spilling tea?
In my view, someone who continuously yells in another person’s house is way more uncool.

「The other maids aren’t properly educated because a bumpkin like you is acting as the head maid!」

The maid who committed the blunder is pitifully trembling.
If I was in my real body, I’d have long since beaten him, but I have to endure the urge as Rita.

To begin with, this man hasn’t done much thinking.
If the same thing happened to me, I wouldn’t make such a big deal out of it.
In fact, I’d smile at the apologizing maid and ensure she didn’t burn herself.
Then, she’d be smitten by my magnanimity and kindness, allowing me to easily bring her to bed.

「Good grief, what a stupid person.」

「W-what did you say……?」

Crap, I said that out loud.
The maids and servants freeze.

「Y-y-you bitch――」

Now that it’s come to this, there’s no helping it.

I return my lowered head to its proper angle and speak confidently.

「I have apologized. I will compensate you. What more do you want!?」

Rita’s voice echoes in the room.
I take one step forward, and the man takes one step backward.

「T-this humiliation……I will report it to Lord Hardlett――」

「Go ahead! I’ll be happy with whatever my master decides to do.」

I take another step forward.
It’s not like there will be any punishment though. Since I’m the one doing the judgment.

「The one who made the mistake is just a young girl. What good is it for a man to yell left and right?」
「Au.」

I show the maid’s baby face to the man and embrace the girl in a protective manner.

「U……uuuuu.」

It’s settled.
I’ll add a little extra, so just take your money and leave.
You and I won’t get along, so never come back.

However, the man’s stupidity exceeded my expectations.

「Y-you may be a maid of the Hardlett house, but to humiliate a noble like me――I’ll strike you for being rude!」

To my surprise, the man draws the sword at his hip.

「Kyaaaa!!」

The maids, especially the one in my arms, scream.

His sword is obviously a dull decorative blade.
It was allowed to be kept in his possession because it is for ceremonial use.

He doesn’t look very experienced in martial arts either as his slash is sluggish.
In my real body, I’d be able to deflect it while humming with one eye closed.

But right now, I’m Rita.
I can’t see the supposedly slow motion of the sword.
My body can’t react as quickly as I want.

Not good. I can’t afford to injure Rita.
I barely raise my arm to protect my head and neck.

The man’s blade proceeds to――never touch my arm.

「Woah! When did you-!?」

A wrinkled hand grabbed the sword before it reached me.

While still holding the blade, the owner of the hand bows courteously.

「I am Sebastian, the butler. I apologize once more for the maid’s impoliteness. And since my master has given me strict orders that there shall be no sword fighting in the mansion, I humbly request you to stop.」

「Guh! I-I can’t move!」

No matter how much he tries, the sword doesn’t budge from Sebastian’s hand.
And though it may not be sharp, it is still a sword, yet Sebastian wasn’t afraid to use his bare hands.

「Do you intend to disrespect me too!? A butler’s rudeness is the same as the house’s rudeness, are you going to smear mud on Hardlett’s name――」
「I――」

Sebastian interjects, cutting the man’s sentence short.
It isn’t something he does often.

「I am a butler of the Hardlett house. Rudeness and disrespect to the guest is never my intention, but I will prioritize my master’s wishes.」

Sebastian puts his left hand across his chest and bows deeply.
Then he gestures to the door with the same hand.

「Please leave.」

「Leaving without speaking to Lord Hardlett and after being mocked by his servants――?」

Sebastian tilts his head up slightly.
He repeats his words with a piercing gaze and an increased emphasis in his tone.

「Please leave!」

It’s over.
Overwhelmed by Sebastian’s pressure, the man obediently exits the room, grumbling to himself.

「Thank you, Sebastian.」

「It is part of a butler’s duties……Rita-dono?」

A gentle smile forms on Sebastian’s face.
His expression just now, did he see through me?

Now then, I’m sure Sebastian’s right hand has a deep cut after grabbing the sword.

「First, let’s treat your wound.」

The other maids hastily scramble to aid him.

「Sebastian-sama! We need to get your hand treated right away!」
「That’s right. Hurry to my bedroom!!」

Several maids openly blush.

「No, I can’t let something so minor interfere with my work. I’ll be excusing myself.」

He bows to me and then quietly leaves.
The maids sigh disappointedly.
The 40 year old maid in particular seems genuinely depressed.

「After something like that, it’s hard to work. Let’s move everything to tomorrow aside from meal preparations. Also, you will take a break.」

I hug the girl who spilled the tea and send her to her room.

Her legs and hips are still shaking, likely because it was her first time experiencing such a chaotic sequence of events.
Poor thing. It’s because that guy got so upset over something as trivial as spilling tea.

「It’s alright. Don’t worry about it.」

There’s only one thing to do when a girl is scared.
I caress the maid’s cheek and then steal her lips.

「……ah.」

She looks up at me in surprise, her face turning red, then she gazes downward.

「Rita-sama is ‘that’ after all. I guess it’s no wonder……you’re so reliable and courageous.」

The maid buries her face in my……no, Rita’s bosom, and whispers to “make a mess of her”.

――The Next Day.

I wake up to the morning sun and fumble around, searching for the hand of the maid who should be sleeping next to me.
But not only is nobody there, the shape of the bed is completely different.

「Huh?」

I get up and realize I’m not in Rita’s room.
My eyes turn to the standing mirror.

「So this time it’s Irijina……」

Reflected in the mirror is the stark naked body of Irijina.

Just like the time with Rita, I inspect myself.

Her naturally neat face makes her appear intelligent as long as she doesn’t open her mouth.
And because she doesn’t put on makeup, Irijina doesn’t look any different from her usual self.

Her ass isn’t close to Rita’s size, but her breasts are comparatively big.
As for her skin, it’s somewhat rough. She probably doesn’t care for it much.

「Hmp.」

I lift both my arms above my head and flex.
Muscles instantly bulge all over my body.
Indeed, she has the body of a warrior. I’ll be fine if I get into fights.

「Still, that Irijina, to think she went to sleep without taking a bath……」

Strong body odor is coming from her armpits and collarbone.
She should be cleaning herself as a woman.

Thinking of doing her a favor, I grab a towel and am about to walk out of the room, but then I realize something.
There is a piece of paper stuck to the door with large letters written on it.

『Daytime. Inn. Moonlight Pavilion. Relatives.』

It must be an important appointment.
It’s written in such a way that it can’t be missed.

「I have to go to this for her.」

If it’s the Moonlight Pavilion, I know where it is.
Irijina’s manner of speech has more distinct characteristics, I think I can imitate it easier than Rita’s.

「Irijina. You’re such a cold-hearted woman.」

An unfamiliar man scolds me when I arrive at the Moonlight Pavilion.
As much as I want to ask him who he is, I have to endure. She had written “relatives” on the note, so it’d be weird if I asked for his name.

「Wahahahaha! What a terrible thing to say!」

I’ll just laugh heartily like she usually does.
However, he doesn’t laugh along.

「Our late father did so much for all of us, and what about you? You went off on your own, cozying up to Margrave Hardlett and gaining status……are you going to neglect us!?」

「Wahahahahaha!」

Irijina was formerly a soldier of Arkland and part of a knight house.
Oh right, I never did ask about her family and stuff.

「Even I, as the cousin and head of the family, am reduced to being the bodyguard for a caravan. What do you think about that?」

「Wahahahaha.」

I don’t know how to respond.
I can only keep laughing with a strained smile on my face.

「Although we won’t starve from the minimum allowance given to us, our family’s future is bleak. With no fame or status, we have to work everyday just to survive.」

「Wahaha……」

They receive payments?
Thinking back, I do recall Irijina getting money to send to her family and a commander’s salary, but I’ve only ever seen her buy cheap booze and eat at street stands. It never really dawned on me since she’s not the type of person to save money.

The man grabs my hand.

「Your relationship with Lord Hardlett isn’t simply master and retainer……it’s special, right? Then please listen to my request! I won’t ask for any luxuries. I just want to be what I was in the past, a captain of a 100-man squad!」

「Waha……」

I don’t want someone who begs his cousin for a higher position, even as just a rank-and-file soldier.

We are supposed to be talking privately, but out of nowhere, a man and woman sit on either side of me.

「They’re acquaintances I met in Rafen. I figured you could get them jobs while you’re at it.」

The man speaks first.

「Irijina, surely you haven’t forgotten me as someone who has been your colleague in the military for so long. When you were um……captured and suspected of fleeing before the enemy, I spoke carelessly, but that was a misunderstanding. You’re not the kind of person to fuss about little things like that, right?」

「……」

Irijina’s cousin also nods.
This guy must have said something to them.

「My dear brother has fallen from the glorious position of 100-man captain’s assistant to a mere laborer. As his former brethren, does it not pain your heart?」

The female speaks up.
My eyes widen slightly at first glance of her appearance, but upon closer inspection, I discover her face is caked in makeup, and not good quality ones at that, as it smells bad.

「……」

I have plenty to say, but choose to keep quiet for Irijina’s sake.

That’s when the three start badmouthing me.

「Giving us the silent treatment again? I sent you letters, but got no reply. And when I asked around, it seems you are serving as a noble of Goldonia without using the Wolls family name……I’m sure father would also be ashamed.」

To me, everything coming out of his mouth is just disgusting words, but my body twitches on its own.
Irijina’s body must be reacting.

「And even after we competed with each other, I’m already just a rock on the side of the road, you’re off rampaging in service of the enemy…… Great personality you have.」

Irijina’s former colleague says.

「Is it satisfying to gain status through your lower body instead of using your spear?」

The younger sister asks.

Eventually, the three of them leave the store, cursing over and over.

I hug my own body and mutter to myself.

「You’ve had it rough, huh Irijina. You did well to endure it on your own.」

I never heard any of this from Celia or Myla, those closest to Irijina.
She didn’t tell anybody.
She always laughed cheerfully.

「It’s alright. I learned about it today.」

Somehow, talking to myself triggers tears to trickle down my face.

I’m grateful to the old woman and the shrine.
I would have never realized if this didn’t happen.

After that, I’m in no mood to play around in Irijina’s body.
I’ll quietly return to the mansion.

「Hey!! How dare you do this to my cape!!」

I hear a familiar roar.
When I go outside, I see Irijina’s cousin, as well as the two siblings, pale in the face.

Their eyes point to the man who caused a commotion yesterday in the mansion.
His pure white cape is covered with garbage.

In the middle of the city is an overturned garbage container……I see, they were so frustrated that they kicked the garbage container over, which ended up spilling directly on the man’s cape.
How unlucky. Nevertheless, isn’t wearing all white just asking for trouble?

「D-do you know how much this cape costs!? No, it doesn’t matter, it’s inexcusable to pour garbage on me, and for that I’ll cut you all down!」

Three others around the man who appear to be his followers all draw their swords.
Irijina’s cousin matches and draws his sword, but the other two don’t have weapons, meaning he is outnumbered 3 to 1.

He scans his surroundings for help, but unfortunately no guards are nearby.
The citizens also seem to believe the ones who spilled the garbage are in the wrong and don’t have any intention of helping.
Oh, our eyes met.

「Irijina! Help!」

He’s so arrogant.
I’d like to ignore him, but if Irijina is sending money to her relatives, then she doesn’t want to sever the relationship.

I reluctantly and grudgingly step forward.

「I am sorry that they dumped garbage on you! I’ll apologize, so please let them go! Wahaha!!」

I wonder if my sincerity will get through to him like this.

「This woman is a commander for Lord Hardlett’s personal army and we are her relatives! Bowing your head and running before things escalate is for your own benefit, you stooge!」

「What did you say?」

Just when I settled him down, Irijina’s cousin had to shout something unnecessary from behind me.
If I recall, this man is……

「Irijina……so you’re a convert from Arkland. My name is Taroy Dorad. I am someone who received the title of knight baron from the royalty of Goldonia.」

The citizens in the vicinity stir uneasily and take a step backward.

「A noble……」
「Oh my goodness……」

The cousin and two associates try to drop their weapons and back away, but it’s too late.
Taroy unsheathes his sword with a triumphant expression.

「If you’re relatives, then you’re also from Arkland. For remnants to cover me, a noble of Goldonia, in garbage, that’s equivalent to insurrection! I don’t find it strange at all to punish such disrespect!」

None of the onlookers object to his declaration.

「They knocked over a garbage container right into him……」
「And they were yelling left and right. This is what you call karma.」
「Apparently, they are Irijina-sama’s relatives……they’re up against a noble, though.」

Taroy grins and swings his sword down at the dumbfounded cousin.

Of course, I draw my sword and deflect that childish strike.
With a sharp clank, his sword is sent spinning in the air.

「What is the meaning of this!?」

「They aren’t resisting anymore. Don’t cut down people who aren’t resisting.」

It doesn’t matter to me personally if they’re killed, but Irijina would be saddened.

「You intend to disrespect Taroy-sama!?」

The followers charge at me in anger.
I sidestep the first man’s slash, deflect the second man’s sword, then I close the distance on the third and knock him over with a tackle.

I am able to move well in Irijina’s body.
As long as I consider the minor decrease in speed and power, I can fight without issue.

「I’m a knight baron! If a private soldier like you hits me, I will report this to the Military Commissioner and――」

I rush forward furiously before he can complete his sentence.

The three followers hastily attempt to intercept me.
Unlike Taroy, these guys seem capable in battle, however the gap in ability between them and Irijina is evident.

I sheathe my sword and kick the first follower in the groin.

Turning to the second follower as the first man faints, I feign blocking the incoming sword and hop backwards instead to let it hit the ground before punching him in the face.

I evade the third follower’s thrust with ease, grab his arm and throw him in the gutter.

「U-unforgivable……gue.」

Lastly, I pick up Taroy by his white collar and threaten him by bringing my face into his personal space.

「What are you going to say to the Military Commissioner again? You tried to retaliate for being offended but were defeated, along with your three followers, bare-handed by a woman?」

Erich is the type of person who would slap the knight or soldier instead.

「Abubu……but you’re a convert……of former Arkland, and you’re evil……I am justice……」

I release Taroy, dropping him to the ground.
The citizens in the area remain silent. I need one more thing to push them over the edge.

I stomp my foot down on the ground in between his legs.

「What kind of justice bullies evil after they have surrendered!? What kind of knight punishes non-resistant people!? I wouldn’t be the least bit afraid of a man like you on the battlefield!」

When I finish my speech, the citizens initially clap sporadically, but soon the applause grows louder.

「……however, it’s completely the fault of my relatives for pouring garbage. I will apologize for the impoliteness. I will later send you compensation.」

I bend my body at the hip and bow towards the noble.
The compensation will be taken from one month’s worth of allowance given to Irijina’s cousin.

When I raise my head, the applause is thunderous.
The citizens are totally on my side now. Taroy can’t do anything anymore.

「Sorry.」

The cousin looks at me in surprise.

「You’re more……level-headed than before.」

Irijina’s former colleague awkwardly averts his eyes then glances back.

「Thank you very much! You were so cool!」

And the colleague’s sister for some reason clings onto my arm with a flushed face.

The makeup’s not too bad when she’s like this……and it would be boring just to head back to the mansion.

――The Next Day

「It happened again?」

I’m in a different room.
The lingering sensations on my fingers are just part of my memories.

I didn’t expect her to be a virgin with such heavy makeup.
One finger was all it took for me to realize.

Well, based on the sun, I’d say it’s early in the morning.
For me to wake up at this time, this person must have a very orderly life.

「Regardless, I will do my usual check.」

I spring out of bed and feel oddly light.
It doesn’t seem like I returned to my original body.

「This room is filled with books. And everything is tidied up.」

My voice is also cute.

I peek at the mirror expectantly.

「How cute.」

I’m in Celia’s body.
Her face is a little grumpy right after waking up.
She is wearing light blue pajamas and a tiny nightcap.

「Hmm, I’m against inspecting Celia’s body without permission.」

For now, I change clothes without checking her body, but I have this strange urge.
Allowing my body to move according to the urge, I unconsciously open the drawer and take out a notepad.
It seems my body is accustomed to moving in this way because Celia does it habitually.

「Let’s see……first she washes her face, oh with the water in this pot. Next she does morning exercises, twenty bending stretches and ten seconds of leg stretches……」

In her notepad, her morning routine is written extensively.

「……change and then brush hair. Make the bed, confirm one’s personal effects, then run for 2 km, and then 15 sets of practice swings……drink fruit-flavored water here and then rinse off the body. Next, check on Aegir-sama to see if he’s awake, if not, go patrol the mansion’s premises and then do work on documents……」

I put away the notepad.
Celia always tries her hardest, it should be fine to slack off for a day.
I guess I’ll head out into the city.

Unlike with Rita and Irijina, nothing special happened with Celia.

If I had to point out one thing, it would be that she does work wherever she goes.

Currently, Celia doesn’t have a designated job, she simply acts as my adjutant, sticking her nose into a wide variety of fields from being a soldier and a guard to being a merchant and a domestic affairs official.
Celia can do that because she is able to achieve above-average results in everything she does.

In short, it’s something I can’t do.

「Regarding the application request for the store, the feudal lord’s seal is on the document……but the scared owner came running.」

「Regarding the security plan you drafted, half of the guards gathered on a single street……」

「Um……the budget for river flood control is 30 gold and the budget for food distribution is 300 gold coin. This means we will have to build an embankment out of scrap wood and cook with the finest black beast meat……」

I can’t do it.

It seems Celia’s body is prone to making careless mistakes.
I have to be conscious about that.

Something I noticed is that nobody blames Celia for her mistakes.
Even when she makes obvious mistakes, everyone takes it in stride.

Everyone, but one person.
Leopolt bluntly points out her errors.
And when he explains at length the logic behind certain issues and I don’t understand, he simply gives up.
……I’ll need to follow up with this later or he’ll think Celia is incompetent.

As I walk with those thoughts running through my mind, a hand suddenly rests on my shoulder.

「Celia-dono, I was looking for you!!」

It’s Irijina.
Her voice rings painfully in my ears, though she has a slightly more cheerful smile than usual.

「You’re too loud. What is it?」

I try to imitate Celia’s manner of speech.
It’s perfect, if I do say so myself.

「Wahahaha!! I obtained some good ingredients, let’s enjoy a hotpot together!!」

Irijina’s arms are carrying plenty of meat and vegetables.
I can’t help smiling.

Men nearby all turn around.
That’s how charming Celia’s smile is.

「Fine. After my work is finished.」

I answer in Celia’s tone and accept Irijina’s invitation.

The hotpot with Irijina included many ingredients like meat, vegetables, fish and mushrooms.
It tasted rustic yet delicious, but most importantly, it was paired with conversation with Irijina, who seemed to be having lots of fun.

「Did something good happen?」

Irijina smiles like she has no worries in the world.
It’s because of that that the hotpot tasted better.

Sadly, this is where a problem occurred.
The best hotpot is not halfway done, but I’m already full.
It makes sense, since Celia’s stomach isn’t as big as mine. It feels a bit wasteful.

「Celia-dono, full already? There are still more ingredients!」

Irijina laughs as she stuffs her face.
As for me, I don’t have much room left, so I pick out mushrooms and other light foods to eat.

「This meat is from the highest grade cow! I splurged on it!」

It was great meat.

「This fish……was reeled in by an acquaintance and shared with me!」

Workers fished one for her from the river after their day of hard labor.

「This vegetable……was given to me…… by an acquaintance working for a caravan.」

Looking deeply moved, Irijina takes a bite of a chunk of radish and chews it slowly, in contrast to the vigorous way she had been eating. I’m happy for her.

It makes me reach out for a bite of the vegetable too, but then my stomach gurgles.
The pain that follows is one that any human has experienced. I have less than five minutes until disaster.

「Where did you get this mushroom?」

I ask quietly.

「It was growing in the grass! I thought hotpots would look better if there were mushrooms in it!」

I see, in other words it’s a mysterious mushroom.
And unlike me and Irijina, Celia has a weak stomach.
The result is clear.

「Irijina, how many times does this make it!?」

「Hm? What are you referring to……where are you going? Not eating anymore?」

I shout out to Irijina before sprinting off.

「You don’t have to shoulder the burden alone. Celia and I are your friends. You can tell us anything.」

「Mu, Celia-dono is Celia-dono……who does the ‘I’ refer to? Mmm, I don’t know!」

I don’t have time to worry about that.
Celia’s honor is on the line.

The pain in my stomach is getting really bad.
I don’t have much time.

「This is when knowing lots of people backfires!」

Because Celia is recognized by many, I can’t simply burst into someone’s house and ask with a pale face to borrow their bathroom.
Celia is a girl. Doing her business in the grass is out of the question.

「Rather than trying to come up with an idea, running to the mansion is faster.」

Fortunately, Celia’s body is truly nimble and is able to run at full speed while weaving through crowds.
At this pace, I should be able to make it to the bathroom even if my stomach is at its limit.

Clutching my stomach, I increase my speed and run like the wind.

「Hey, that’s dangerous! Wait, it’s Celia-sama. I wonder what’s wrong.」

「She was holding her stomach and her face was turning blue……oh.」

I run swiftly through the main road and the district where the servants’ residences are.

「I can see it.」

The mansion appears before my eyes after climbing up the hill.
All that’s left is a 15-step staircase.

I usually climb it three steps at a time.
For the springy Celia, she can probably do five steps at a time.

「Then, I just have to enter through the back door and go to the bathroom.」

Wiping the beads of sweat on my forehead, I build up power in my legs.

With a beautiful leap, I skip the first five steps, then I jump to the tenth step and then the fifteenth step……

My mind processes the next two questions calmly.
Who in their right mind would eat on the stairs?
What kind of idiot would leave their half-eaten container on the floor?

My leg slips on the foreign object, causing me to trip and fall on my ass.

At that moment, my vision blurred and when I came to, I was standing in the corridor.

「……I’m back in my body.」

I see my familiar arms and legs, and the faint reflection in the window is of my own face.
I guess the “something strange” is over.

「I’ll go over to where Irijina is.」

I’m sure it’s lonely to eat a hotpot by herself.
Plus, I’m feeling hungry.

「Fugyaaaaa!!」

I hear Celia scream from the back door.
I must not go. She definitely wouldn’t want me to see her in such a state.

「I’ll buy her a mountain of sweets. And I’ll prioritize Celia at night for the time being.」

I head over to eat hotpot tormented with feelings of guilt.
Time can’t be rewound. Humans can only face forward and continue to live.

Later.

「Are you listening, Aegir-sama? Mrs. Dorad gave me lots of sarcastic remarks at the dinner party. She said that her husband was humiliated in his visit and wondered what our servants were taught! Rita-san and Irijina-san were named specifically!」

「Oh, yeah. That happened. It’s not a big deal, ignore it.」

I let Nonna’s complaints go in one ear and out the other.
It seems the pure white Taroy didn’t have the courage to tell Erich, let alone the king.
If all he can do is whine to Nonna during a dinner party, then it’s not an issue to worry about.

「Rita-sama, when you’re done work would you like to go drinking tonight? I know a romantic bar we can visit.」

「I can’t relax and go out at night. ……why are you stroking my arm!?」

Something weird is going on over there too.

「Humu humu.」

I peek quietly behind Myla as she looks over documents.

「Former 100-man captain of the Arkland Kingdom, has experience in battle……fumu, as long as their loyalty can be confirmed……and an interview is conducted, we can accept the application. Wolls……? Where have I heard this name before?」

Things are going well here.

「We are not looking for anybody to do chores in the house. I appreciate the sentiment, but could you please leave?」

I hear Sebastian’s voice at the front door.

「Please make an exception, I want to be by Irijina……I mean, my sister’s side! I even offered up my virginity!」

A woman with heavy makeup is making a fuss. Good thing Irijina isn’t here.

「Hey, you serious?」
「Irijina-sama did? ……and what weird taste.」

It seems a strange rumor was born from what happened.

「Good morning.」

Celia comes over.
I embrace her, pat her on the head and let her sit on my lap.

「There, there, you’re cute today too. Here, let me give you some sweets. Do you want a cookie? Or do you want cake instead?」

I proceed to spoil Celia lots.
And I also warn Leopolt that I won’t forgive him if he makes fun of her.

「I want to confirm something.」

Celia mutters on my lap.
Yes, confirm whatever you want. I’ll tell you anything you want to know, even if it’s a national secret.

「I have this strange feeling in my head……that faintly recalls being inside Aegir-sama’s body.」

The hand stroking her head stops.

「It sounds pretty unbelievable……but if it’s true, then it would make sense for Aegir-sama to be in my body……if I remember correctly, when I regained consciousness-」

Not good, I have to change the topic.

「Nevermind that, do you want to go on a trip today?」

「A trip……caravan……old woman……shrine……nng.」

Crap, it had the opposite effect.
I should retreat here.

It seems that when I was in the girls’ bodies, they were in my body.
But apparently there was a mysterious power at work, and I’m the only able to remember clearly what happened, while the girls have vague memories at best.
Celia’s memory is excellent, so she’s the only one able to recall fragments of the events.

However, the servants, guards, and other third parties don’t have clouded memories.

I cleaned the mansion and reprimanded the servants for not doing a good enough job.

I firmly refused the advances of a married woman who wanted to thank me in bed after I exterminated a bear and goblins for the villagers.

I screamed like a girl when a caterpillar fell on my head and hugged Carla.

Such stories made their rounds through word of mouth.

Well, if that’s what it costs to learn more about Rita and Irijina, that’s a small price to pay.

I head to a certain grave with a bouquet of flowers.
The grave is oddly-shaped, but I have a special connection with them now.

「Aegir-sama, let me ask you outright. The one who made me explode was Aegir-sama, right?」

「Hahaha, it might have been a prank by the gods.」

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