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ShangriLa Frontier Chapter 574 Part 1

ShangriLa Frontier Chapter 574: Saiga Style Self—Defense Technique “Bone Remover” Part 1

Of course, this black liquid that was currently dripping down my head and falling down onto my clothes from my jaw was obviously coffee. Also, I am not all that proud of admitting this, but the moment the can hit my head and the black liquid started to pour itself out onto my hair and face? That felt good. Like, really good. I just hope that I won’t awaken to some strange kind of fetish because of that in the near future.

「………………」

「You, just who the hell do you think you are, huh? Some sort of a “Hero”? Or maybe a “Protagonist”? Hmm? Which is it?」

Hmm, I see. I see, I see, I see, I see…… Aaahh, so that’s how it is, hmm? Interesting. Most intriguing, I would say.

No, that’s not really it. I mean…… Okay, I must admit it here: maybe I have taken this a little bit too far. Maybe I was the one who was at fault here. But honestly, can you really blame me? It was the first time ever when I had to deal with a Pick Up Artist in real life. So without any prior experiences like that, whatever the hell was I supposed to do here? I mean, almost the entirety of my knowledge on how to deal with those types of guys I have acquired from playing various shitty game dating sims. But given that I have had so little knowledge to work with here, I must say that in my opinion I have handled rather well. In which case “well” is used very loosely and as a relative term. However, I also remember what Takeda-san used to say about situations like that: should you ever happen to see yourself in a scenario like that, it is really important for you to be strict with your “opponent”. Now, to summarize my actions thus far, I honestly think that they may have been a little bit rushed, but at the same time in my own eyes they all seemed to be cool beyond all measure, if not slightly edgy. But it would be the right kind of edge here. Now, as to the coffee itself, it was already pretty much cold, so maybe that will allow this Punk to open his eyes and see the error of his ways? Or maybe the caffeine itself is going to give his brain a much needed starting kick? In the first place…… Can caffeine even be absorbed by the skin? Because I do not think it works that way, at least not with human beings. Or wait a second…… If it was poured all over his head, does that mean that it is going to kick in directly into his brain even faster? Or maybe it will stop being absorbed by that thick skull of his and absolutely nothing is going to end up happening? No, I mean…… Anyways, since the coffee is cold, maybe it will allow this Punk to really calm down? But actually, why did I even do that in the first place? This was one hell of a risky action? What if I actually end up regretting it? No way, there is just now way that this is what is going to happen, right? Haha…… Hahahaha…… Hahahahahahaha……

「Come on now, see this? You know what it is? Or maybe your brain makes it impossible for you to comprehend the meaning of complex signs?」

「Huh? The fuck you are talking about, asshole?」

Oh, come on now. It’s actually a brain-dead easy symbol to understand. Middle finger and the index finger standing straight in the shape of the letter “V”rose at the height of my eyes. Even a small child would be able to figure it out in an instant.

「Hey come on now, no matter how you look at it, that’s a Peace Sign. A Peace Sign. Have you ever heard about it? It means that I’m a Pacifist, unlike you, it would seem. Because you see, our monorail is going to be here soon, and I would really like to get on it with Rei-san without any major incident taking place. You can laugh at me all you want, but that’s just how it is.」

Oh, I can see that the coffee is actually starting to work? So, having it poured over your head actually brings up a desired result? Or maybe it’s just my imagination? Oh well, whatever the reason may be, once you say “A” you have to say “B” as well. So here we go…… Oh, actually, I just hope that my clothes won’t get permanently damaged because of that.

「Huh? Oh, I see that you are not at all interested in learning about chimpanzees, then? Well, that’s a shame, because that’s a rather broad and interesting learning topic, you know? You don’t know what you are missing out on! But then, maybe you should go back to the zoo and get a crash course in monkeys at least, hmm? Since you seem to be acting like one, you might even learn something new about yourself. Wouldn’t that be one heck of a journey of self-discovery? Oh, but if that’s the case, then how did you get here in the first place? After all, you can only get here through the monorail, and that’s a human-only means of transportation. Last time I checked they did not let animals in. Especially zoo escapees. But oh well, maybe I should give you at least a little bit of credit? Come on, little monkey, want me to buy you some delicious bananas as a souvenir?」

「W-Why you little shit……!!! Just who the fuck do you think you are, huh……!? Want me to murder your ass……!?」

So, little Punk still wants to go, huh? Or could it be that you have reverted back to the animal state and you can’t even properly judge the place and the circumstance that you are currently in, huh!? Besides, thanks for shouting so loud, you absolute dumbass. Normally this thing would have turned into something truly ugly, but because of your little acoustic performance just now the station’s staff members are on their way here to see what the commotion is all about! See, this is how a true Pacifist does things! Violence is not the way! Getting your opponent to be fucked by the laws and regulations is the name of the game! In other words, wit is always mightier than muscles!

At the current moment the Pick-Up Artist looks as if his face turned into a pot full of boiling water. He was all red and fuming, and if he was to be left like that, I am pretty sure that there would be actual steam and smoke coming out of his ears. In contrast, I remained calm and collected, with a really nasty smile creeping its way on my lips. Now, what do you do in a situation like that? It’s simple, really. You just give the guy that one last push that drives him over the edge from where there is no turning back.

「Hey, hey, Red Face!? What’s with that expression? Finally decided to turn yourself into a baboon’s ass like you are? Oh, mind you, you can manhandle me right now if you want to, but think how you are going to explain that to the authorities out there?」

「I’m gonna break your face in, you assfuck!」

The Punk threw his fist at me, and I could clearly see it travelling all the way towards my cheek. However, his first was never able to reach its mark, for it was knocked sideways all of a sudden by a third party.

「–––––– This is all in self-defense.」

「Bugeh!?」

There was a loud “CRACK!” and then “CRUNCH!”. Those were two sounds that you do not want to hear your bones make. Like, ever. And the one who was the cause of this was none other than Rei-san, who just so happened to appear right in front of the poor Pick-Up Artist.

Rei-san grabbed the Pick-Up Artist’s fist that was flying toward me, and placed her other hand onto his shoulder. Then she just twisted her body a little bit towards the direction where the arm and hand would not normally bend. Needless to say, his arm made a really sad noise once it was forced to make a move it was not supposed to be doing at all in the first place……