Ruler Vol 4 Interlude: That which I should have protected
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Author: Anit666
Editor: Weasalopes
THAT WHICH I SHOULD HAVE PROTECTED
“Hey, you know.” That despicable man started. “That girl you hang out with is a whore.”
Exactly how did I land in this situation?
Today’s scene was set in the library. The bastard who had been stalking me for days had finally caught up with the Kingmaker. His wish to ‘possess’ me, which had destroyed my many other ‘escapism-relationships’, had finally made its way towards my last stand.
He had finally moved to detach me from the Kingmaker.
With the sun’s red illuminating the library, I decided to listen while hiding behind a shelf.
“What do you mean?”
I could not see his expression, but his voice was as monotonous as ever. No, there was a slight hint of curiosity and amusement in his tone.
“That woman is a slut. She has slept with a lot of men; both old and young. I was also one of them!”
There it was. He had used this same strategy on all my acquaintances. He first told them my truth to shake their belief in me, and then manipulated them, painting me as something disgusting in their eyes.
In the end, all of my acquaintances had looked at me like I was filth. There were even some who tried to take advantage of me.
“I….. see.”
The Kingmaker answered ruefully.
But that’s not true. I have never slept with an old man. My physical relationships were confined only to this school, and my partners could be counted on the fingers of my hands. Unfortunately, that boy was one of them.
“Yeah man!” That boy pressed on with his attack. “Have you slept with her yet?”
“……….Yeah.”
“So you’ve also fallen into her trap, huh?”
“What do you mean?”
Kingmaker asked confusedly.
“Listen to me man. That woman, she has just been using you.”
“Using me?”
So even the Kingmaker has fallen into his trap, huh. This isn’t the first time I have encountered this situation. But it always ends the same way.
“That demoness, the reason she goes out with so many men is because she enjoys playing with them. She uses her charm in the bed to lure innocent men like us. She makes us fall in love with her; having men obsess over her deeply pleases her. But she’ll grow bored of you quickly and leave you heartbroken.”
“Why…… why would she do that? Playing with people’s feelings like that…… is wrong.”
“Who knows. Maybe she can do that because she loves no one.”
‘Loves no one?’ I love no one?
“I see. That is incredibly sad. But why are you telling this to me?”
“I was once used by her too. I just didn’t want you to suffer the same fate….”
Used you? I never used you, bastard! It was you who tried to use me! Gosh! Sleeping with that man was a mistake!
“I understand……”
The Kingmaker muttered thankfully.
And so, my last acquaintance fell. Starting tomorrow, he’ll stop hanging out with me. He’ll look at me as if he was looking at trash. He’ll tell his friends about me, and this cycle will continue going on until I’m completely cornered.
And this is what that boy wants. By isolating me, he thinks he’ll possess me; that I’ll belong solely to him.
This time is a bit different though. I don’t know what the Kingmaker will do once he starts to hate me. But this is fine. I’m used to being hated.
That’s how I’ve lived my entire life, that’s why I’m used to being hated.
I’m used to………..
But………. but I don’t want them to hate me……..
“You should leave her, man. That’s the only way you’ll be happy.”
“I see.”
Why?
Why is this happening to me?
I didn’t do anything wrong, so why?
Why is he doing this to me?! ‘I love you’, he said. But I did not ask him to love me! I do not want this kind of love! What I want is……!
He has destroyed my life. Everyone I knew, including my own parents, despise me. They see me as an object. Why doesn’t anyone realise? That even I have feelings. Why don’t they think? That I had my own reasons for doing what I did. Why don’t they understand? That I don’t want them to hate me.
All I wanted, was….. just some relief for my broken heart.
I’m not a whore or demoness. I got acquainted with them only because I had no one to talk to. I talked sweetly to them only because they seemed to like it. I slept with them only because that was the only way to comfort my heart.
Since I couldn’t touch the person I love, I imagined him in those I actually could.
And yet, they mistook my actions for affection and confessed to me. But I didn’t see them that way, so I tried to respond truthfully. But they made faces as if I had betrayed them; even though they only had themselves to blame, they resented me. I had made it clear beforehand that I was not looking for a relationship; that we were just friends with benefits.
But as this thing continued to happen for a few times, I looked for someone who wouldn’t love me. And that’s how I stumbled upon the Kingmaker. He caressed me, comforted me, and didn’t demand anything in return. He was the perfect partner.
But among those I had left behind was this detestable boy. He chased after me, and destroyed every relationship I had with the people around me. He leaked the rumour that I was a slut and got the school involved. Due to the humiliation my mother faced, she still looks at me with cold eyes. My friends stopped talking to me, my classmates talked shit behind my back.
And so, I stopped associating with people. But that man still didn’t relent; he wanted to destroy me and create me anew to monopolise me.
And today, that man was about to succeed. By making the Kingmaker leave from my life, he’ll have truly isolated me.
What should I do?
I want to jump out right now and tell him the truth, but I’m afraid. I don’t want to see those kinds of eyes looking at me anymore.
I’m afraid and afraid and afraid and afraid.
“I see.”
The Kingmaker muttered again.
Ah, what should I do…..?
“No wonder the acquaintances around her were decreasing.”
Eh?
“Eh?”
“It was you, wasn’t it? The one who had been working in the shadows to isolate that poor girl?”
“W-what are you talking about…?”
That man sounded flustered, but I was more flustered than him.
“Gosh, you are so bad at playing dumb that it’s not even funny. And the other guys were manipulated by a third-rate like you? I never realised that the students in this school were such fucking idiots.”
Silence permeated the library as that man stayed quiet. And that was why I could hear the thunder of my heartbeat. I could not understand what was happening. But that silence didn’t stay for long.
“Kukukuku, hahahahahahah, HAHAHAHAHAH-”
“Ah, just shup. Even your laughter is third-rate.”
“You…..!” That man flared up in anger. “You know what, fuck it! I’ll say this clearly: stay away from her. She’s mine.”
“And what if I don’t?”
“I’ll do the same thing to you that I did to her! I’ll make everyone in this school hate you!”
N-no-
“And?”
Huh?
“Huh?”
“I’m asking, is there anything else you can do?”
“What are you saying?! Everyone in this school would hate you, you understand?! They’ll look at you as if you were trash!”
“Hmm, that actually sounds mildly amusing.” Kingmaker muttered. “All right. Go ahead and do that.”
“Wha?!”
“Go ahead and make everyone hate me. I want to see whether it’ll have any effect on me. It’ll make for a nice experiment. Ah, but before that.” His voice turned cold. “You are going to have to suffer for a bit.”
It was instantly followed by a sound of flesh hitting against flesh, followed by a thud.
“W-what are you doi-kugh!”
Followed by another whack.
“You said that she doesn’t love anyone, right?” Kingmaker started while maintaining the sounds of whacks. “You’re wrong. She loves someone. But she was probably rejected? Anyway, heartbroken, she started finding comfort in men’s touch. Unfortunately, you were one of them. But all her ‘partners’ got too obsessed with her, and she was forced to leave them. This process continued for a few times until she met me. An extreme way, if you ask me, but to each their own, I guess.”
The flurry of whacks continued, a bit louder this time.
“But you misunderstood her. No, not only you, everyone around her misunderstood her. In their own confusion they hurt themselves, and then blamed her. But while others distanced themselves from her after being rejected, you tried to make her your own using force. You decided to wreck all her relationships so that she’ll belong solely to you. You approached me today for that very reason. Seriously though, what made you think that would work?”
“B-but I loved her-”
“Love? No, you didn’t love her. All you had was a desire to monopolize her, to defile her. To make her your own. You would never have done those things if you had truly loved her.”
“What would you-”
The man’s words were cut off by another whack.
“What would I understand? I’m the only one who would understand. Well, don’t worry. I’ll beat that fact into your mind soon enough.”
The library was filled with the sounds of punches and that man’s groans. But even in this dreadful atmosphere, I was feeling something different.
Even though tears were flowing from my eyes, my heart was……. warm.
Was this love? No way. I know better than anyone else that I love someone else, not the Kingmaker.
This was, happiness. Pure bliss was what filled my heart.
For the first time, I was accepted.
For the first time, someone stood by my side.
And for the first time, someone understood me.
“This is my first and last warning to you.” The Kingmaker spoke after some time. “Stay away from her. Or I’ll show you what it means to be truly hated by people.”
This followed by the sound of a really strong punch, and the library went silent again.
“Mmmmm.” He groaned. “Another task crossed off my list. For now, I should throw this fool into the infirmary and hit McD. I’m hungry as fuck. As for the other men who still hate her……. hehe, I’ve got the perfect plan.”
And with a creepy laugh, he dragged that man and left the library, leaving me alone with my tears.
Tears that flowed from happiness.
“Hmm? You still haven’t gone home?”
The Kingmaker asked as soon as he saw me. I had been waiting for him at the gate for some time.
“Wanna hit the McD? I’m hungry.”
I asked.
“Only if it’s your treat.”
“Done.”
“Oh? Feeling generous today, are we?”
He laughed.
“Something like that.”
He started walking towards the store, and I closely followed behind him. He walked with his hands in his pocket, but that was not enough to hide the blood staining the cuff of his shirt.
To be honest, I was still a little scared. How could he beat someone so brutally? But…… after all I’ve been through, I guess I can handle that small fear.
The sun made its way to hide behind the horizon. Our shadows danced as we walked, yet strangely enough even that felt pleasant to me.
“Hey Kingmaker.”
“Hmm?”
He used to complain when I called him ‘Kingmaker’, but recently he has stopped doing that. Has he gotten used to it?
“I wasn’t rejected by my love. I haven’t even confessed yet.”
He stayed silent for some time.
“Yo, eavesdropping isn’t a good habit, ya know.”
“And neither is beating people.”
“Be honest.” He smirked. “You also thought that he deserved it, didn’t you?”
“Well……” I won’t deny that. “Leave him aside. But when did you realise?”
“Within a day of getting acquainted with you?”
Haah? He knew since then?
“…… A-and what do you think?”
“About what?”
“About… what I did? Was it wrong to find comfort in their embrace?”
To find comfort in your embrace?
“Who knows.” He smiled. “I don’t have the right to judge.”
How underhanded. After making me feel all those emotions, he refused to give a clear answer. Hmph.
But.
“Mmm. Thank you, Samuel.”
“No need to thank me. Just treat me to an expensive dinner.”
“Huh. Consider it done.”
“Thank you, milady.” He bowed. “Ah, but now that I think about it, practically speaking, you should stop doing what you were doing. Considering all-”
And so, he continued to ramble on and on about the various practical aspects, and my heart continued to grow warmer and warmer.
And as the sun set, my first real friendship began.
My eyes opened abruptly, only to find a ceiling which I had unfortunately become used to in the past year. His figure silhouetted by the setting sun was replaced by the chandelier above.
“Why now……”
How long had it been since I remembered that day? This was probably the first time when I actually had a dream about it.
And yet, that day and that man, remained only in my memories now.
Samuel Hayden.
The Kingmaker, the monster. Or so he was called by others. And even though they weren’t wrong, they weren’t right either. To me, he was my saviour.
A saviour whom I had failed to protect.
Others say that he died, but I cannot admit it. There’s no way a man like him would die so easily.
No, he must not die.
Without him, the setting sun is not the same anymore.
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