Chapter 302

Chapter 302: Sharp, elegant, and princess-like are fake, the real one was selling hamburgers the other day.

Day 73 – Evening, The Capital, Souvenir Store Orphanage Branch

White bodies are twisting, entwining, and collapsing to the floor of a dim-lit room. Or rather, you are making my work way more difficult if you can’t stand still. Since you keep thrashing around, it takes extra time and effort, forcing Magic Hands to crawl around even more?

「Uuuah… Aaaaamh. Haaah, aahAAhAAhahA… HaaaH~.」

「AhAahAno… Hya~! N-not theeeeereeeeeeeeeee~!」

「That’s not your character! Why 『Ah, nooo!』 is coming from the Bitches? You are the squad that always talks about biting heads off, stop with noo~? And you are chewing anyway?」

Since the Bitches brought dress designs that were finally finished with collective girls’ effort, I tried to make some temporary sewings, but 『Wisdom』-san’s precise and fine measuring investigation through elaborate and delicate fondling, rubbing, and crawling all over the skin is currently destroying the Bitches’ personas?

「「「「Haah, haaah, haaah, compared to before… didn’t fitting’s attack power… get way crazier?!」」」」

There are 5 times more Magic Hands, each capable of even more precise and complex movements, so now it’s an ultimate skill that can make even two dungeon emperors scream and squirm from excessive ecstasy? Yeah, it leveled up so much that it gives such an effect when used normally, so when used not normally in that kind of situations, stimulating there and also there, even the Dungeon Emperors Duo ends up losing consciousness, convulsing in ecstasy, But how come everything beside my own level keeps going up? A truly profound mystery?

「Heeey, Haruka-kuun, it’s still only evening~, and there are children around~, so please don’t do anything too indecent to Shimazaki-chan and others~, okay? You’ll have to take responsibility, if they can’t be married anymore~, keep that in mind~. Enjoy yourselves quietly~, sorry for interrupting you~.」

「This is a perfectly normal and family-friendly temporary sewing for dresses, but the lewd bitches insist on moaning like lewd bitches, turning everything indecent? I wish they could keep their horniness in check when I’m earnestly working on dresses. Also, Vice Pres B-san, when the girls are done with the designs bring them to me. I probably can make 10 at once, or rather, I think I can go even with 20 at once, but the room is small and if the lewd bitches are pressed too hard they might start biting, it seems like it would be better for you to come in turns? Looks like? I’m not looking through? But as a humble highschool boy who couldn’t even join the electorate I can’t help but to have my doubts towards the system that still wouldn’t dismiss the Blindfold Representative that is standing behind me, desperately trying to pry open my eyes? If you put just a bit more strength you’ll tear off my eyelids, so please stop? Well, without eyelids I’d definitely have no choice but to stare hard, but even if they are going to regenerate you still shouldn’t do that? Because it hurts? Or rather, let’s properly focus on actually covering my eyes instead? Wait, they are wearing underwear so it might be alright~? No, even in underwear it’s a no! And you were trying to force my eyes open even when they were butt naked! Well, that’s the case, I’m the only one here who is diligently doing wholesome work? Kind of?」

Strolling in with Slime-san in her hands Vice Pres B-san made some outrageous accusations. Good grief, trio of Slime-sans is constantly going Jiggle-Jiggle, unable to stop chatting? Jiggling somehow became a chorus, I wonder why?

「「「*Gasping for air* Who are you calling lewd bitches!.. We aren’t lewd, but this is crazy!… Wait, and we aren’t bitches!」」」

Were it simply dresses it wouldn’t have led to such a commotion though? The bottom would’ve been done in frill flare or mermaid balloon, so there was no issue, but those lewd bitches had to come asking for lewd white frill garter belts, forcing me to do risky things in risque places with risky things getting them into such a risque state, so I’m not at fault at all? Good grief, I’ve already repeated that I did nothing wrong 1 million times at the Capital alone, but why does no one get it? Even The Cat that Lived a Million Times [1] only went up to 1,000,001 times, but Sermon-san denied my innocence 1,000,000 times, and though I even kept appealing with sweets, I still had 1,000,008th time just now? What a tough problem.

Even so, long train, overskirt, tacking skirt, tiered skirt, gathered skirt, and then balloon skirt and even draped skirt, bustle line is… the hem is going to drag on the ground! Sheer dress, and also Big Bows dress, is she going to equip a ballista or something?

For how much racket they made about lewd dresses being inappropriate, while everyone picked a long skirt, all of their designs lean towards having see-through sheer for the top, or sweetheart neckline, bare top, off shoulder, and so on. Is this the latest fad of this world?

So I thought I’d least do the Bitches share, and thoroughly measuring, remeasuring, adjusting, and fixing, I adjust, aiming for the perfect fit, for the sake of which I keep adding amendments and corrections, pushing for the perfect balance. The Bitches quieted down by now, or rather, they are just silently convulsing. Well, if they have no complaints, then it should be fine.

By the time I finished I had a few dead bodies in beautiful dresses, lying on the floor with inappropriate expressions and eyes rolled up, but since they are twitching from time to time, they should be alright? The final result is pretty good. As I thought, with the increase in control and calculation ability the technique of my side job has gotten even more amazing, but why do I have to perfect the technique of side jobbing even coming to another world? I don’t think that many people transfer to another world for the sake of bra production or garter belt manufacture?

Well, it’s done?

「「「「Kyaaaa, fantastic~!」」」」

Once the Bitches finally woke up and went to introduce the dresses to everyone, the girls that were struggling with designs erupted in excited cheers. They are casually striking poses with nonchalant expressions, but a few minutes earlier they were convulsing on the ground, bowlegged, with their eyes rolled up, you know? They are putting on airs, showing off the dresses, but you shouldn’t let yourselves be deceived.

「Aaah, maybe I should go with frills too.」

「I thought the princess line was kind of plain, but looking at it like this, it looks beautiful after all. 」

「Lace straps with frills look gorgeous, ah, and the ribbon on the back is cute too.」

「「「Big sisters, you look really pretty, like princesses.」」」

Being complimented even by the kids the Bitches are acting all shy, but those are not princesses, those are the Bitches, okay? They’ll bite you? Also, the one who was selling hamburgers the other day is a princess, and the one who was running around with a storage crate is a royal princess, you know?

I’m diligently working, making dinner, and getting bath ready, but the girls are having a hard time, clutching design drafts, and also their heads, sighing while looking at tens of design drafts lined up in front of each of them, but it’s two outfits per person? You aren’t getting any more, okay? Or rather, even one is definitely going to be enough!

Looking at the various fabrics that I made, they are then comparing them with designs. They seem to be pondering very hard, but no one is asking me about various effects, enchantments, or defensive capabilities they possess? Even though I worked so hard on them?

They won’t be able to decide today at this rate. The Bitches too are groaning, wracking their heads over their second outfit. They seem on the verge of biting and gnawing. Chewing on a dress?

Well, let’s have dinner, it’s still going to take them a while.

On the orphans request we are having rice balls, deep-fried hamburger steaks, omelets, and stew in place of soup, all arranged in smorgasbord fashion. [2] Equipping all of the orphans with horned helmets and leather vests we have perfect viking(s). Like, it’s gotten really authentic? Might as well let them invade and assault the Geek’s ship later.

 「「「「Let’s dig in!」」」」 「Rice balls!」 「Me hamburger.」 「Karaage-san~」 「Big brother, manju」 「Omelet is delicious」 「Rice is so tasty」 「Dear brother, I want garter belt too.」 「Pumpkin pie is great!」 「We’ll need padding for the chest area…」 「More stew!」 「Big bro, is chestnut manju yet?」 「More karaage」……

The orphans are greedily, lively, noisily, and happily devouring the food. Grow big? The girls are greedily biting in, even mixing in demands for manju and underwear along the way, they’ve gotten bigger, but don’t blame this on me, okay? Well, it seems that BOOTing CAMP and DANCE REVOLUTION is going to start today, so the effectiveness is doubled? I made a ton of money on leotards, but it seems they still need belly dancer outfits too. If you are going to struggle so much with burning calories, how about not eating so much in the first… I didn’t say anything? Eeeat plenty? As much as you want? Yeah, you can help as many second helpings as you want? The chestnut manju are not ready yet since I’m yet to find chestnuts? So put away that fork? That is not a fork meant for meals, but the one meant for battle, okay? W-wait, could this be the famous TRICK or TRIDENT?! Highschool girls will play tricks on me unless I feed them, what a troubling choice, but tricks performed by girls with tridents could have a destructive power that is too much for a highschool boy. Also, tridents seem to be a new equipment for fighting over carbonara. It might be dangerous to serve on a big plate in the future! If they thrust at it with that the plate might not survive! Does the plate need mithrilification?

And since we got a whole pile of unconscious girls from ONE MORE SET before the bath, I also joined the beating called practice. Slime-san and Dancing Girl are going to be spectators.

Pouring a bit of mana into the stick of the World Tree I sync it with my body, then wrapping myself with Magic Wrap I sync and fuse mana, skills, and my flesh. I can’t expect her to go easy on me.

Simply breathing puts a strain on me, with each breath air gets heavier and more viscous, with the body getting duller, as if sinking into the deep. But this is an illusion. It’s not me that is getting slower, it’s the flow of time.

I already felt slow motion before, but this time it’s so slow that I can clearly perceive it. The effect of 『Wisdom』 accelerated my thought process, making the time go slower. Then, the silver armor moved. Unhurriedly, but swiftly, even giving off a certain sense of tranquility to the movements, she performed a slash in an instant. Sword Flash.

A single sword slash that in Kyojitsu’s fashion is absent of delay, tempo, or anything unnecessary. Since my time axis is different I perceive it as slow, but it’s just a single sword swing. It’s not a killer technique or a secret art or anything, just basics, but because she perfected those basics it’s also a special move. Looks like I finally caught up a bit to the Armored Pres-san’s time axis. Which now gave me an even better understanding of how terrifying this is. In other words, yeah, I’m getting beaten up?

With skills wildly flying about I leave control over 『Random Attack』, which has even myself, weapons, and attacks randomly flying about, to the subconsciousness, I have to have a clear aim when using it, otherwise it’s no different from shooting blindly. Mastering control over 『Random Attack』 should lead to Kyojitsu. In the end, Random Attack is just a freaky irregular technique that was born by a fluke. Its power was not coherently consolidated. That’s why I can’t properly use Kyojitsu either, that’s why I couldn’t cut Dancing Girl. Well, it’s actually for the best that I could not, that slim waistline and the grace in her movements, those lovely thighs, and great buttocks rivaling those of Armored Pres-san, when lined up together they…

「WHOOOOOAGHUEEE! No, you got it all wrong, or rather, this is a sword practice, so why are you swinging a morning star at me? Or rather, that was Flash Swing just now! You have reached the pinnacle of morning star, and now there is another one, not sure if this should be called two-sword style or two morning stars style, wait, you are definitely a founder now! You have breached into a genre that no one had traversed before, also, Dancing Girl, Slime-san, don’t you feel that you should be trying to stop her instead of going yare-yare there? Or rather, don’t you feel you should save me? Eh? No? Aaah, you don’t, I see. I sort of suspected as much.」(Followed by further scolding (beating))

「Knock Knock」

(Jiggle Jiggle)

Well, even while self-destructing, I still managed to exchange blows with her. I can sense that I obtained overwhelming power, but with the opponent also holding an overwhelming strength, relative to mine, and in fact, overwhelming me, I can’t really grasp the feeling of it. I mean, if I’m getting beaten up when I’m weak, and then also getting beaten up after getting stronger, it’s really hard to feel the difference? Well, I can very much sense, and feel, and feel up, and fill her up during the night, so that’s fine by me.

 「「「「「Good work. After another ONE MORE SET it’s DANCE REVO tournament, got it?」」」」」

Having said that, the Pres and others are gone to get another beating. 『Got it?』 am I supposed to DANCE REVO too? Unlike certain people, I’m not getting out of… Nevermind, I didn’t say anything? Also, I understand those 20 morning stars, but Armored Pres-san, you don’t have to join in on this, you know? And who the hell was it who supplied Dancing Girl and Slime-san with morning stars too? Alright, I’m sorry, please don’t mind me and go on.

That was scary.

[TL Notes:
[1] The Cat that Lived a Million Times (100万回生きたねこ) Book by Yoko Sano. A Buddhist allegory of birth, death and rebirth. This is the tale of a cat with more than nine lives who keeps being reborn to owners it dislikes, until it discovers freedom and love. The book was intended for children, but is also suited to an adult readership.
[2] The Japanese name for the all-you-can-eat buffet is “viking” (バイキング)


[TL Notes:
[1] The Cat that Lived a Million Times (100万回生きたねこ) Book by Yoko Sano. A Buddhist allegory of birth, death and rebirth. This is the tale of a cat with more than nine lives who keeps being reborn to owners it dislikes, until it discovers freedom and love. The book was intended for children, but is also suited to an adult readership.
[2] The Japanese name for the all-you-can-eat buffet is “viking” (バイキング)

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